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User: shykitten



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Posted in The Rape Poll! on 2003-03-13 02:44:12

i was raped too, i think only 5 times.

my first time having sex it was rape. i was 18. we had been going out for a year, and he did after we broke up. i was scared and it hurt but i don't remember much about it. his mom was home and must have heard, but no, he was the good kid.

then in college i had sex with 11 guys, most of the time it was not rape but neither was it completely consentual, i just accepted it.

i had sex with my boyfriend freshman year, almost every day, never consenting out loud, but i would just let him do whatever he wanted. i wouldn't consider that rape. he raped me once though, when he was visiting and i was in a committed relationship with someone else. :(

one guy was in my room and tied me down, i wasn't attracted to him, i thought he was a friend, we hadn't been flirting or fooling around, he just did it. after that i did find him attractive, and slept with him sometimes, and we did have that semi-consentual kind of sex.

another guy was a friend-of-a-friend. he beat and raped me in his dorm room 2 weeks after we met. he was particularly brutal. he scared me, but i felt like he owned me, so i slept with him a few times, and had rough not-quite-consentual sex (only the first time i consider rape, because the other times i knew what i was getting into by sleeping with him).

the other was someone a year younger from high school. we had been somewhat going out but weren't anymore, and hadn't seen each other in a while. i don't remember that much either. i was crying, and i went to the library after because i didn't want to go home.

the first time i had sex with my boyfriend in college it hurt a lot, so maybe that's when my hymen broke. i like to think that's really when i lost my virginity, because it was at least semi-consentual.

Posted in Where Has Thou Done the Deed? on 2003-03-12 23:55:02

in a cemetery.

it was scary, not because of ghosts, but because i was afraid we were going to get caught by the living. ;)

Posted in The Beast Within Man on 2003-03-11 03:03:47

I'm a female and have violent fantasies. I may have answered incorrectly, the question "yes, and they're detailed and gory". My fantasies are of someone else doing violent things to me. I'm attracted to men who seem beast-like. I agree that everybody has something of that in them... I'm just in denial about my own inner beast ;) Partly having to do with the way I was brought up, I'm afraid of appearing "unfeminine". I haven't figured out why I have these fantasies though. Your survey brought up an interesting possibility; that maybe I have an inner beast that wants to be let out, but because I supress it and don't know how to deal with that possibility, that it manifests as violence projected onto others. That, or maybe I'm just a masochist, who knows? ;)

I haven't been in a truly abusive relationship, though I have actively sought out abusive guys. (I'm a sicko, huh?) I have gotten guys to hit me and do other things I should not mention here since this isn't an adult forum. These were nice guys who I corrupted. :( They were always too in control... part of my fantasies is that he loses control... I do know this is very dangerous.

I like your quiz, it wasn't quite what I was looking for when I googled for "violent fantasies", but it was interesting.

blushes hides