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User: Dave2015

2015-03-24
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Posted in Parenting and Spanking on 2016-12-02 10:42:40

Hi Rick,

No I wasn't paddled in school. I'm too young for that, thankfully. I did get it however at home. I too had the belt. I remember it felt harsh but wasn't overly painful or abusive but I sure did feel the consequences of the belt for quite a while afterwards. It wasn't brutal but it left an impression for quite a while. We're you paddled in school? I was in school through the 80's and 9O's, graduated high school in 1996. Any form of physical contact wasnt allowed at school but that didn't save me once I got home.

I have never used a belt on my 3 ever, just felt it too harsh for them. I've found the spatula to be very effective without being overly painful. I can tell and have been told many times by mine that it dies indeed hurt, they do cry from it and do occasionally tell a little after each smack. I'm not trying to cause egregious lasting harm though, just a stinging bottom for a little while. My middle daughter received a spanking this past Friday night for running and rid ing on a shopping cart while hanging off the back of it. She,was earned by my wife to knock it off, well she continued to do it. Once I saw her doing it in the parking lot, I stepped on, told not to do that but as we got near our car, she did one last time. Well, she earned a spanking at home that evening. As soon we got the car unloaded and everything settled in, I had a little conversation with her about her behavior and her disobedience to both my wife's and my directions to stop her horseplay. As it was risky and dangerous to do that in a crowded and busy parking lot at night, I felt the use of the spatula was warranted. As usual, she was bare bottomed across my lap on the sofa. She did not agree but then again it's not her choice to pick and choose her punishments. I also grounded her Saturday to her bedroom until lunch, then the house for the rest of the day. Sunday, we got the stores again, no cart riding. Go figure, lol. We'll see how long that lasts though, she is a great kid though.

It's that type of punishment I feel is best. She was warned, she disobeyed, she suffered the consequences from her actions.

I can say it's every parents choice whether to use corporal punishment but I do feel its time for it to come back in popularity again. Some of my children friends,are just out of hand. I cannot believe what some parents let their kids get away with. Just the lack of respect to common decency is bad enough. The problem with a lot of our younger generations is that kids have no discipline or structure in their lives leading to an increase in unacceptable behavior.

I feel spankings are warranted for common disrespect towards others. Failure to follow the parents instructions. Failure to follow up on a given task. Any risky or potentially dangerous situation.

Those are the typical reasons I myself received the belt for and feel my son and daughters should receive corrective spankings for also. I have two levels though, the hand only and the spatula. Depending on what they did determined whats used on them. My oldest though has been trying to use the excuse of "on her period" to get out of spankings. She's tried it 3 times now in the past year or so. I don't believe that read on should exempt her from her punishment though and have told her that I am not really concerned whether she is in her period or not. My wife agrees with me on this and as she understands periods a lot better than I do, I feel I'm still correct in giving Alyssa a spanking still regardless if it's needed.

How do your own children feel about the spankings you have them? Now that they are grown and adults, do they understand that non abusive but corrective spankingsare given out of love for them? Mine don't quite feel that way but they are still quite young. I'm Hoping someday they'll understand that corporal punishment was used because I do love them and care greatly for them. I want them to be the best possible adults they can be. Did you get spankings for being lazy or unmotivated at all, such as in school? I'm having issues with my teen and her grades. She's not exactly doing te best in school right now. I feel she's not concerned with her education and focused more on her friends and social life. I've never spanked for low grades and I myself did pretty good in school. The only time I was given the belt over school problems was when I got caught skipping school. My wife and I have talked about our daughter and her grades in school, we,are concerned but other than talks,with her, nothing else has been done.

Thank you or you responses.

Dave

Posted in Parenting and Spanking on 2016-11-18 11:14:55

Hi RJ, Thank you. I just try to get my point that a proper spanking can be very good as a discipline tool without being abusive. Going beyond that is not only wrong but can leave lasting damaging effects and have the opposite effect of the goal of raising fine, upstanding children.

I agree too that CP is too late when offenders have entered the corrections system but should have been used earlier in their lives no doubt. It's really a shame that it's too late for some of these individuals. I see so much potential in many of the images I see everyday but they just can't seem to control themselves at times they really need too. One fascinating thing I see everyday is that most of the inmates aren't the monsters that outsides imagine. Many are very human except for the one moment that they cannot control themselves. My father used spankings in me and yes, you are correct in that I feel that form of discipline has shaped who I am today and in a positive way. Although I don't agree with the use of a belt, that was pretty painful. I feel my father did what was acceptable back then and it did help me learn right from wrong. I don't use a belt on my children but do use the spatula as it delivers a little more stinging but not as harsh or lasting as a leather belt can be. I was spanked in front of my siblings, sister and two younger brothers. It wasn't so much as it was done to be as so they to could witness it, it was handed out in the couch in the living room mostly. Anyone if my siblings coming by could see it. I do the same with my children. It's not like I gather all of them around to witness it though but if the others happen to be there, so be it. Funny though, once my other children know one of them is getting a spanking, the other two will make themselves scarce, not sure what the reason is but guessing it's to avoid watching. I got the belt, same as you, wow, that left an "impression" on me too, both physical and sensational. I too had problems,sitting and dressing afterwards for quite some time! That's not the goal for my children although they all do a lot of butt rubbing after one I've given them. As you know, my children are bare bottomed too but the undies go back on as soon as they are allowed to get up and dressed again, save for anytime they have urinated during the spanking, obviously they go clean themselves first, then redress. My girls won't put their panties back on until they've washed. As my children have given me their bottoms and underwear, I hand them back to them to go redress. So obviously, they head to the bathroom first before putting their clothes back on. Yes, my oldest daughter is now 15. Although she is mid teens now but still a minor, I have no problem giving her a bare bottom spanking if it's needed. As she is pushing the boundaries more and more these days as a teen, I feel CP is very important with her. It sets the standard of actions versus consequences. I will never use a belt on her but she knows the spatula very well. I will probably stop giving her spankings once she is 18, then I will consider her an adult and on her own by then. She'll have to live by the consequences of her actions herself then. I will always be there to help and support her though, as well with my other daughter and son too. Do you have children? I'm not sure if you said so it not. Thanks, Dave

Posted in Parenting and Spanking on 2016-11-11 20:43:16

You're welcome. I'm just trying to state my position on spanking, hows it's done in my house and why it's done on my children. I appreciate all the comments and posts you've made in the subject. It is a polarizing subject at that but I'm a firm believer in taking corrective action when needed and spanking is very effective for my children.

I see it all too much in my profession as a corrections officer on a daily basis. The consequences of what happens to many young kids when their bad habits, misbehavior and down right bad choices are allowed to take place without discipline. Many if the younger, even the older ones in the facility I work at have never had any firm of discipline in their lives. It's unfortunate because if that, many have ended up in prison because of it. Not to mention the victims of all these convicts that were victimized as a result of someone getting away with atrocious behaviors.

Spanking my children not only punishes them but it teaches them very clearly that an unacceptable behavior, habit or action comes with consequences. With my own daughters and son, I'd much rather have that consequence happen now rather than down the road where as it its worse and worse, they end up in a place like my prison. Not only does the spanking helot them learn, it prevents them from victimizing others in the future.

As far as my children go, yes, you are correct. The spanking is meant to be a corrective action and not an abusive one. Yes my kids feel pain from it but my intentions are only that they feel a temporary pain. I use the spatula to increase the stinging but not to leave a long lasting pain. I want them to feel it for sure but also to remember it after the pain and stinging have gone away. I want them to think of the spanking and especially what their actions were that led to it.

My way of doing it and the way I look at it is very procedural, there is set amount of steps to spanking my children. Each step serves a purpose and is meant to send them a message. From stripping of their clothing, to baring their bottom and getting dressed again each step serves a reason behind it. It sends a message to them that we, the parents still make the rules and they are going to follow them. IF they do not follow the rules, then they are going to lose their "rights" and submit to whatever it is that I ask and they will have to follow it my way, not their way.

Well to answer your questions, yes it seems my son takes the spankings much better than his sisters do. Im not sure if it's a boy/girl pain tolerance or a boy/girl emotional thing but tend to believe its that my girls are a bit more emotional than my son is. My daughters do get pretty upset once they learn that they've earned a spanking. They both agrue with their mother or myself why they feel they don't deserve it. They are a lot more apologetic, upset and emotional during a spanking. Their reactions are quite different than with my son. Both girls will very often pee during the spanking, not sure if its from the emotions or the shock of the sensation of the stinging. The spatula use will always cause them to urinate, thus the reason for the pillow between their legs. Once they know its time for their spanking, just seeing me get out the spatula and pillow will cause them to tear up. It does break my heart seeing them this way but it truly is for their own good. There is almost always tears with my two girls. The crying starts early and lasts quite a long time after the spanking. My son does cry on occasion but usually just during the smacks.

My children are always spanked bare bottom, the way I feel it should be. I was spanked bare bottom too. I was never beat senseless from my father but a belt was always used as I got older. It's not something I appreciated back then but as a father myself now, I can understand it was done out of love and caring for me back then. I dreaded getting the belt and not very often did I commit the same infraction after getting the belt. It worked on me! Dave I've been spanking my girls ever since they were little but yes, they are a bit more modest now when told to drop their bottoms and undress below the waist. I can tell they are  very hesitant sliding down the panties and stepping out of them. Hands go over the crotch very quickly but they know I've seen it all before so thats a pointless action in my opinion but I'm not so concerned with that. Currently they strip off their clothing and hand each piece to me to set off to the side.  I have them do this as a part of them knowing they are submitting to my control, they lost all control when they committed the original offense.  One rule is arms and hands stay under their head or over their head as they lay down across my lap.  They both know the pillow is going between their legs but often I have to tell them to spread their legs so I can place the pillow there.

Dave

Posted in Parenting and Spanking on 2016-11-02 19:43:00

Hello RJ,

Spankings seems to be the most effective with my children. Other forms of punishment and discipline just dont seem to last very long or leave a lasting impression on  on my kids. Each of my children have been spanked since the age of about 4-5. They are very familiar with them. Any younger than that and spankings kust have no effect. Im a corrections officer, a CO so I am used to giving out discipline but thats with adult offenders, not pre-teens and teens.

As far as spanking my daughters, yes as the father and a male, I understand what you are saying. Its an issue though as my wife has just about never spanked the kids. That position has always been left up to me. Altbough as she says, "I cannot spank my babies" however she is in complete agreement with the kids reciveing punishment spankings. She will however "sentence" the kids to a spanking but just leave it up to me to actually dish one out, she wont do it. I really wish she would do it herself sometimes but I understand her thinking on the subject.

With the girls, my wife and I agree bare bottom is the way to go. I know my teen daughter may seem a little old for a bare bottom spanking but its with her I worry about the most. She does the more severe infractions with the more serious consequences being a young teen. The rules my wife and I have set for her are for her own safety and when she breaks one, I feel a serious firm of punishment is called for. All the spankings are by hand or with a plastic spatula. The spatula is only reserved for the most serious infractions too. Im not looking to overly hurt my children at all but I do believe a temporary stinging is warranted on some infractions, especially with my oldest, shes the spatula far more than my other two do. None of their bottoms are beyond the moderate red stage. No skin or blood vessels are ever broken. The kids feel it but nothing beyond that.

As far as modesty goes, I get that point but as someone who works in the corrections field and is in it everyday, I have my opinion on what works. Like yiu mentioned, spankings are not to embarrass nor is that my intention but in my thinking, a spanking is a punishment procedure and several steps are to be followed in order to accomplisha disciplinary action. I feel each step is important as since it is part of a rigid, disciplined process, it makes the child think longer of what actions led to the punishment. I dont look at just smacking their bottoms as the only step. To me each step has meaning and is done for a reason. Neither of kids are completely naked but they are bare from the waist down. One reason its bare bottom too is that my kids, especially my middle child, the 12 yr old daughter is that they do have a tendency to urinate during the spanking. This doesnt happen each time but frequent enough that protection is used to guard against any urination. The girls have a small pillow placed between their legs to urinate into. With my son, I place a pan between my kegs and have his $%!@ hang down into the pan. I dont fault them nor hold them responsible for urinating during the spanking, I feel its an uncontrollable response they have.

As far as having my older ones standing and bendumg over something such as a bed frame or sofa, I'm not sure if thats feasable or if it would increase pain. I feel the extra sting of the spatula is very effective for more serious infractions.

I do value your opinions and advicr thoughand will keep all of it in mind as my wife and I discuss the spanking issue of our children.

Thank you for writing and speaking up. I appreciate your honesty and candor.

Dave

Posted in Parenting and Spanking on 2016-10-30 03:34:17

I am wondering if in order to make sure the spankings I give my children is as effective as possible ifishpuld change a few steps. For one, when a spanking is to be administered, I have the child stand in front of me while I sit down in the sofa, all spankings are done over the knew, my lap actually. Currently while the child is standing in front of me, I have them undress and hand me each piece if clothing. My question is: should I be the one to remove panties/underwear or continue to have them remove them themselves and hand them over?

My children are 2 girls, aged 15 and 12 and a boy, 9.