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User: Malph


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Posted in What would you do for a klondicke bar on 2009-07-26 06:43:06

I would pay retail price.

And you don't need to give me a Klondike Bar as payment for shooting the Jonas Brothers. The fact that most men in the world will make me their god for doing so is a better reward.

Posted in Suicide on 2009-07-24 08:30:41

Me and my friend were (jokingly) talking about our ways if we were going to do it.

Her- Put on fancy clothes, blast christian music, and shoot herself (she was an atheist in a religious family, it was symbolic).

Me- I have epilepsy. I'd just stop taking my meds and let nature do the rest.

Neither of us were at all serious about it (which is why they were so weird).

And I realize just how wrong it is to joke about suicide and have come to the conclusion that I really don't care if it's wrong. So don't waste your time bitching me out about how it's bad to joke about something so serious and such, I really don't care.

Posted in Balls, Nuts, or Testicles! on 2009-07-23 08:11:16

In some cases, yes.

But you have to be careful who you do it to.

Some men will just fall over in agony, but others will just go primal and beat the hell out of you.

Posted in Naked Celebrity Preference on 2009-07-22 08:11:59

I think she's 18 now, so knock yer self out.

Posted in MALE VIRGINS AGES 18+ ONLY!! on 2009-07-22 08:08:09

The problem is that the standards for getting a girl to have sex with you are pretty strict.

Are you smart in any way? Then $%!@ off! These days the ability to punt a football is more important than a decent IQ.

Want proof? Look at the average amount of children for people with a 140 IQ vs the average for people who are regulars on Jerry Springer.

If you want to get you and your friends layed, hang out in a park tossing a football. The women will find you to be alpha-heteros, even if you are enjoying the tackeling a bit too much.