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The Shari Poll: 1.0

Welcome to the Poll, affectionately known as the Poll, where we will be giving you, the man (or woman, or precocious infant) on the street (the information cul-de-sac, if you will), a chance to express yourself by answering carefully poised questions.
Let's begin with a little demographic information. Please confess your gender.
Female Persuasion
Male Persuasion
And of course we will want your age. We must separate the dreamy codgers from the grumpy young folks. Although, truthfully, I think that age questions are used to make you feel nervous when you notice you have moved from the top of one group to the bottom of another. (Not unlike going from being the nobles of junior high to the coffee grounds of high school, back when junior high existed.)
10 or under
11 to 14
15 to 18
19 to 25
26 to 33
34 to 39
40 to 47
48 to 55
56 to 64
65 to 74
75 to 82
83 to 89
90 and over
Blame Austin Powers, but nothing cracks the grins faster than being asked, "What's your sign, baby?" Because I want to see smiles on everyone's face, I'll ask too.
Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
Libra
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces
Honestly don't know and feel a bit sheepish
For our last dry and dreary question, before we get into the wheat meat of the matter, please choose one of the following to describe your sibling position.
Only Child
Eldest Child
Middle Child
Youngest Child
Alright then. Pretend you are a Catholic. (Real Catholics should just ad lib.) It's November the 3rd and you have a busy day. Looks like you'll only have time to attend one saint's feast. But uh oh, four different saints have their feast days on November the 3rd! Which do you pick? And remember, choose wisely.
Hubert<br>(of mathemeticians, machinists, metalworkers, dog bites, rabies)
Pirminius (invoked against snakebite and poisoning)
Rumbald (fishermen)
Martin de Porres<br>(hairdressers, public health workers, TV in Peru)
You meet a guy while out and about somewhere. You start to talk and you're increasingly impressed with his intelligence. You find that you agree with his outlook on many topics. The conversation turns political and you quickly discover that he feels the same way you do about all of the issues near and dear to your heart. He mentions that he's going to be running for office in the next election and you are delighted. You haven't felt this politically motivated in years. He hands you his card. After he leaves, you look at it and discover that he's a member of the political party which you always vote against. Now, pretend that you won't have the chance to talk with him again before the election. What do you do?
Vote for him anyway. Maybe he's going to bring change in more ways that one.
Vote against him. Nobody's that great.
Abstain
This doesn't apply to you because you're a non-partisan voter.
You're sitting in a park, calmly having a little snack, when a group of six Celtic language enthusiasts appears before you. Each one offers you 4 million dollars to learn a different Celtic language. You can only pick one, and if you don't agree to learn one then terrible things will happen to you and everyone you care about. Which do you choose?
Welsh
Cornish
Breton
Irish
Manx
Scottish
You go out to eat at Olive Garden. Your server is the very definition of rude and incompetent. The food tastes cold. When you try to complain, you get a blank stare. The manager is nowhere to be found. Still, the breadsticks are nice. It's time to leave, and you're faced with the decision to tip. Which of the below actions most suits you?
Tip, because servers make less than minimum wage
Tip, because it's just too awkward not to
Don't Tip, because tipping is silly
Don't Tip, because tipping was not deserved
Caffeine. How do you feel about it? Please check all that apply.
Caffeine is great
Caffeine is nasty
Caffeine makes me ill
You can't have too much caffeine
Too many people are addicted to caffeine
I need caffeine
I don't like caffeine
I could give up caffeine
I won't give up caffeine
I will give up caffeine
I gave up caffeine
I never had caffeine
Research is one of my passions. (I sound like Liz Taylor selling perfume, don't I?) Particularly genealogy. Let's see where's you're at with it.
I know the full names of all my great-grandparents, including maiden names.
I know no such thing.
"Little Women" Great book, sometimes a fine movie. But doesn't one of the sisters especially get on your nerves? Which one?
Meg. Just a little too sanctimonious, eh?
Jo. Let's hear less about Jo.
Beth. We just want to shake her out of it.
Amy. Well of course it's Amy! The little simpering brat...
No, honestly, none of the March girls bothered me at all.
I'm sorry, I've never read "Little Women". But I'm a guy, so, you know.
I'm sorry, I've never read "Little Women". I'll go stand in the corner now.
We've touched on religion and politics, which means it's time to get sexy. What's the minimum amount of money someone would have to pay you to get you to appear naked on television. Just naked, in a setting of your choice, but clearly visible from any angle. This would be pay-per-view, so not everyone could or would tune in. Also, there would be some futuristic technology to keep anyone from recording the event. Well?
No amount of money! (because it's just wrong)
No amount of money! (because I'd be too embarrassed)
No amount of money! (unless you could promise that no one I knew would see it)
$99 or less
$100 to $1000
$1001 to $10,000
$10,001 to $50,000
$50,001 to $100,000
$100,001 to $500,000
$500,001 to $1 million
$1 to $10 million
$10 to $50 million
$50 to $100 million
$100 to $999,999,999
Over $1 billion
Over $1 trillion
I'd do it for free
Mike and I are hungry for sandwiches, and you're our cook. You turn on the stove and get out a pan then put a dab of butter (not oleo) into it. When the pan is coated with melted butter, you lay down some bread. You then sprinkle cheese on each slice. When it melts, you stick a tomato slice in and put the bread together to make sandwiches. I ask you what kind of sandwiches you made. You say...
Grilled Cheese with Tomato
Toasted Cheese with Tomato
Burnt Bread with Cheese and Tomato
The media finally realized that the Internet was here to stay, but its attitude and savvy remains all over the board. On the whole, what is your perception of the average news reporter when it comes to Internet matters?
They need to wipe that indulgent smirk off their face when talking about the net
They've seen "You've Got Mail".
They've apparently made it as far as AOL.
They've apparently made it off AOL.
They can type in a web address by themself.
They can tell you a web address off the top of their head.
They can make a web site by themself.
They can make a website armed only with a text editor and an imagination.
They can't make a website. They are busy laughing over the good old FidoNet.
They are busy laughing over the good old ARPAnet.
They know more than you do, so you'll just go with what they say!
What kind of bristles do you prefer on your toothbrush?
Soft
Medium
Firm
I'm knitting something in three different colours of yarn. A "pine" blend, a "country" blend, and a sort of medium blue, although normally I eschew lighter blue tones and all pastels. What do you think I'm knitting?
One Slipper
Pair of Slippers
Dishtowels
Afghan
Roomy Cardigan
A Sort of Doily Thing
I'm afraid that's all the time for today. I'll add more questions as I think of them. Well, here's one more right now. Below are some topics for future questions. Please check all that you would find of interest.
Thinly veiled rants about bad web sites.
Bermuda Triangle type pondering.
Cooking, Crafts, and Soul Searching Gardening Questions.
Questions reflecting current newsgroup threads.
Jar Jar Binks, Xena, and Bags instead of Buckets of Movie Popcorn.
Various opportunities to lament various situations.
More books.
More music.
More Irish.
This poll was created on 1999-06-26 00:20:18 by Shari