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(WOMEN ONLY)Did you teach your daughter to smoke cigarettes?

mothers who teach there daughters to smoke

Posted by daxter on 2006-06-04 22:43:44

if you "mothers" actually did teach your daughters to smoke your insane and an unfit parent. parents are supposed to protect and nurture thier children not kill them with cigarettes!!! you are supposed to keep your children away from tabacco not give it to them!!!!!!

Posted by Proud Mom on 2009-06-19 13:44:30

Our daughter Lisa, began smoking openly at age 8 while in the 4th grade. By age 9, and at the end of her 5th grade school year, she was easily enjoying smoking up to a pack-a-day. My husband and I did encourage and teach her somewhat, however, this was very limited and would be more akind to carefull guidance, and enabaling versus directly teaching smoking to our daughter - it was not our intention or desire to directly teach smoking in a literal sense to our daughter. But make no mistake about it, and let me be as clear as possible....we do not hide the fact that WE AE PROUD OF THE FACT THAT OUR DAUGHTER HAS GROWN INTO A MATURE AND RESPONSIBLE YOUNG LADY THAT JUST HAPPENS TO BE A SMOKER. Our daughter does not reflect what you would expect to see in a typical teenage smoker. In-fact to look at her you would in no way even consider, suspect nor would you be able to guess that she has been an active and consistent smoker since the age of 6 or 7. I say here at age 6 or 7 because that is when we really believe Lisa started, and she admitts to that, but it is really hard defining a specific start date or age - although for the record, our daughter and us use age 8 as her official age at which she started smoking most openly. And truthfully, Lisa has told us that, when she is asked at what age did she start smoking, she has given answers such as; I began at age 6; or I stared to smoke in 2nd or 3rd grade. Lisa has said that saying she started at age 8 in the 5th grade has always been received with less shock than from what the the amount of shock the true answers give. The way in which Lisa presents herself to others plays a major role in her schools, both elementary and middle accepting her and allowing for provision for her to smoke in school, on or off school grounds. Today (18 Jun 2009) Lisa is 13 years old (Happy birthday sweetheart!) and is a Freshman, however she is being promoted two grades ahead of her peers. This school year, she will be in the 11th grade and is in the top 1% of her class. I, as an AVON rep, along with helping her to smoke, also helped her with learning proper ways to apply make-up. Because she is only 12, well 13 as of today, we forbid her to try to even attemp to buy cigarettes, although when she was 8, 9 and 10 it was routine and easy for her to walk into any store and make her purchase, with or without us being present. Over the past 3 years, laws and fines have become much more strick with purchases by minors. My husband is an officer in the US military so we have access to the base exchanges and commissaries, this is where we purchase her cigarettes most of the time. They are a bit....ok alot, cheeper on base than in town. The only problem there is sometimes Lisa will complain that the commissary, at times, does not carry her brand - and she is right! Purchases in these facilities by minors is forbidden and for our daughter to even attempt to purchase on base would have unwanted consequences for both my husband's and my careers, and she recognizes that fact. As far as smoking during the day and at school, prior to this school year - and at the beginning of each new school year, we were able to make arrangements with both the elementary and middle schools to arrange for her needed smoking breaks between classes and at lunch. Pretty much, we, the schools, and our daughter agreed to the same set of rules that govern school staff smoking. Lisa must follow these rules without fail. While at school her cigarettes and lighter must be kept out-of-sight in her purse or in her locker. This school year, Lisa will be attending a private school where the SCHOOL has already arranged to accomodate her special needs - arranging for this in the private school was a breeze and was much more easily done than were the public elementary and middle schools. The differance was like night and day - in the public schools we had to really work hard together to come up with realistic and workable solutions. Her new private school took a vary active lead in working with Lisa directly. The school staff did not waite but instead brought their suggestions to us, some were workable and some were not. Some ideals were even rejected by Lisa because she felt some gave her too much time and room to smoke. She said she felt that she had more freedom than her teachers had to smoke at school. Immediately and right up front the staff smoking rules were graciously offered and ultimately extended to Lisa without hesitation. Her new private school was much more accomodating and helpfull to her than what even I, or my daughter had ever expected or even hoped for. This particular school went out of their way to find ways for my daughter to feel accepted and confortable in her new settings. The entire school staff was most supportive of my daughter and her needs. Not a single person in this school ridicule or questioned Lisa or attempted to make her feel guilty for her smoking habit. Lisa just cannot stop complementing the school staff for their total support and their continued genuine concern for allowing her to smoke at school at those time when she needs a cigarette. She has let myself and her principal know that she is fully relaxed and is able to fully focus on her studies and is not spending any time at all wondering if she will be able to sneak out to go smoke. I have never seen our daughter as happy and content as this. Lisa is more than just thrilled and most thankfull and frankly, relieved that her school is not only willing to work with her, but will bring suggestions to her on making the most of her smoking in a school setting. And so am I. For example it was the Principal that suggested Lisa come to school a bit earlier and stay in the staff lounge until classes start. Lisa is also being offer and asked to take her lunch break in the staff lounge. These, and other accomodations for her were far and above what even Lisa or I was expecting or even asking for. The school has far exceeded all of Lisa's expectations. For the most part each school, be it public or private was/is most concerned about not influencing the other students. And this is understood and is supported enthusiastically by Lisa, as she has no interest in seeing her peers smoke. Matter-of-fact Lisa teaches against smoking in her chruch youth group. Here again, it is her ability to present herself that brought her new private school to her side to more than accomodate her smoking. Now don't get me wrong, this took alot of work, communication and understanding by all parties, including school principals, the school nurses and referrals from the base hospital as well as the Command Family Advocacy Unit. Needless to say that counsellings directed towards us as parents and to our daughter certainly seemed endless but were fruitfull and educational for us as well as for Lisa herself. To this day I am soooooo proud of my girl and we will continue to support her in all endeavors. As far as her smoking at home, (currently in base housing), it is totally unrestricted. Although while she is out-and-about on base without us, she is aware that descretion is required and must be used. While off base, Lisa can smoke when and where she chooses as long as she abides by all city ordances regarding smoking restrictions. By the way I have a Masters degree and have been a teacher in primary and secondary education for the past 17 years. Most of it in the Department of Defense School systems. Our daughter is smart, responsible, well behaved, well spoken and drug free......except tobacco obviously. She has participated in, and won several local Little Miss titles. Was class pres in Jr. HS, was editor of her Jr. High year book, stayed on the Honor roll, was inducted into the National Jr. Honor Society, participated in peer-to-peer teaching of reading and math to elementary school children, and currently is employed part-time as a student writer for the local paper, and is a Youth Leader in her church Youth Group....... and YES we are proud of her!!! Her most immediate goal after High School is to be accepted into the US Air Force Acadmey Prep School. One final note, our daughter has been a consistant and routine smoker now for a little over 5 years, and has consistently kept her use limited to a pack-a-day or less, except for during her "exam weeks" where her use at times, (not always), would soar to a pack-and-a-half to two packs a day. After exam week she quickly brings her use back down to her normal pack-a-day level. This is all done on her own accord with no pressure from us. She has yearly x-ray screenings done and her health is closely monitored for any signs or indications of health issues or problems. If you should any question at all please feel free to ask me, or Lisa, but please do not get rude, personnal or overly judgemental. I know it would be easy to become judgemental when it comes to a young child smoking. Not to mention a young child smoking at 6, 7 or 8 years of age. Both my daughter and myself fully understand that not all will be as tolerant or open about this subject - and we fully respect, and honeslty, Lisa expects and anticipates those feelings. It should be noted that we also have 17 year old son who has zero interest in smoking. This is good because both my husband and I doubt that we would permit or even put-up for one minute with him smoking.

Posted by Proud Mom on 2009-07-24 12:47:17

Wow! Not only do we “really” allow our 13 year old daughter to smoke at will, we also allow her to drink water straight from the tap and, I know this is going to sound terrible, but we also let her eat Big Mac’s with fries.

Posted by hshaw on 2010-03-09 01:46:51

Interesting ProudMom, when I was child in the 80s this was not so unusual but I have two daughters youngest will be seven in April the older one will be nine in July. I think my relatives would crucify me if I allowed my daughters to smoke, my neigbors would not talk to me while I doubt my daughters would have any friends left

Posted by jamesio on 2010-10-20 20:16:16

All that just because of smoking?? What king of relatives and neighbors do you have? Most of my friends smoke.