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Parenting and Spanking

Reply To Radley

Posted by R.J. on 2019-06-14 16:33:52

Radley, it does seem to get busier as one gets older. Likely more is expected of you and you are concluding another year of high school and university is forthcoming, so you are being prepared for that. University is a wonderful experience for many as they open new doors of adventure toward discovery of a potential life career. School now is that career and I imagine both you & Chip are responsible for chores at home, as all boys were at that age. You wouldn't be normal as a teen, if you didn't have a social life and Lucy, as a gf, expects and deserves your time and attention too. Hang in there. If ice skating isn't your thing, it is great that you indulge Lucy and do it with & for her.

I probably have mentioned it many times in messages, that a dad is a guy's best resource and role model. Tap that wisdom and I hope Chip does too. My dad and I had a great relationship that included open communication on any topic I needed to ask. I can't ever recall feeling embarrassed asking dad any "guy thing" and he never acted embarrassed either answering or trying to make me feel uncomfortable. When I lost my dad to a heart attack when I was 27, I lost one of my best friends in him.

Those adolescent & teen urges are natural biological reactions. Keeping them within control is a sign of maturity for both a young male or female. The wait is well worth it and when the time is right, you will realize that & know you are ready for that level of responsibility. You'll be your "own man" but will often see your dad in yourself. As a 21st century dad too, you'll develop your own parenting skills. CP has been on the way out for several decades now & likely you will rely on alternative methods rather than spanking your kid(s). Your initial reaction to Chip's behavior in NYC was simply a flashback reflection on how dad raised you & Chip and punished when you misbehaved. Chip may get away with more than you did at his age, but there again, dad refined his parenting skills dealing with you...maybe unfortunately being the older brother.

Traveling and exploring is a wonderful adventure, but as with those urges mentioned above, can be worth the wait and when the time comes, enjoy even more alone, with friends or most wonderfully with that special lady, your wife. As an adult, I had many traveling opportunities & appreciated developing a more global outlook from it with new cultures observed, different from where & when I was growing up. Be patient.

You ask a difficult question when you ask me to reflect on whether I was naturally good behaved as a boy or behaved out of threats. I like to think I was well behaved. My parents were not into issuing threats. As with all boys I guess, I got warnings on my behavior & usually responded positively to them. If my dad promised something good as a reward, he delivered on it; if he promised punishment if I did something wrong, he delivered on that too. School didn't give any form of threat, you just knew from school handbook or observation of class peers what the consequence would be for certain behavior. I don't think my parents ever expected me to be a trouble-maker in school, but dad did promise a spanking when I got home if I did misbehave--he did just that when I got corner time in 2nd and again after both teenage school paddlings.

Sure I got away with stuff growing up, just like you, Chip and all boys do. Mom saved my boyhood butt from some spankings I might've deserved by just putting me in time-out on the chair or standing in the corner & not telling dad. Parents never gave me cause to be afraid or scared of them. I respected them very much. I had a very "healthy respect" too toward dad's spanking paddle & later his belt. He knew how to tan my bare hide when needed. Appears from what you've said, your dad could give you and Chip impressive butt spankings if needed. I really can't look back with any complaints on those school paddlings. The one in 8th, I for sure deserved; the one in HS might've been a bit overboard, but being there to observe the other guy in the office get his butt paddle whipped for bullying, in a way made mine worth it. If you & Chip have done mischief at school that dad punished when you guys got home, it may have been beneficial had school still been authorized to slipper or cane or whatever your boy backside and get it over while still fresh in mind why you were getting it. But then those were the "old days" & maybe just as well left to dad to punish.

Well, success with those forthcoming exams and have a great summer. Stay in touch if you have time & want.

Rick

Posted by radleyradley on 2019-07-26 16:54:32

Hi Mr. Rick, sir

It is an exciting time to be at the end of what you call high School junior year. It is a time of choices and changes which will probably affect the rest of my life. There are so many different things do fit in in but if university is as exciting as you say I am going to love it. New friends, new tastes new activities new classes new challenges and new opportunities, who would not be looking forward to that?

But it will be hard leaving home and find everything I have ever know as I have grown up including mum's good home cooking and dad's role model parenting skill is gone. School and University maybe my job for the next few years but a career is some way ahead even if I have enough ideas now to guide me to an appropriate in university course

There cannot be many homes are where kids do not have responsibility for certain chores- taking out the trash collecting the mail, the dishes and we are no different. Everyday chores for everyday day .and extra chores- there are always some needing to be done-extra chores if you are in trouble. It is just getting along as a family. Chip and I are both active guys with a busy social life. There are guys who have always been your friends but once you have a special girl like delectable Lucy she deserves your time and attention. Believe me Mr. Rick sir, I can hardly think of anything else! The best thing about ice skating is holding her hand as she pulls me across the ice ha ha ha. Ice skating does not do much for me but I will do it because she wants to do. I would do anything she wanted.

It is good to have a Dad you can rely on, one who will be there with you in good times and in bad and help you grow into a fine young man. He may not have all the answers but he will do his darnest to help you with those guy things you need to know. I do not think anybody has the talk anymore but anything you do not learn in the schoolyard is covered at school. Even the girls had to put a condom on a ceramic pp. But a dad must be someone that you can trust and respect and who tells you the truth even when it is hard for one or both of you. He expects the same from us. How Dad will die one day. Until then he is the fount of all wisdom and one we can always turn to. Ok so maybe he whips us sometimes but even Chip does not get it very often anymore. Yes, Dad is surely a boys best resource.

We all get those urges as we pass through our teenage years and learning to control them is a part of growing up. But hand on willie you learn a way of releasing the tension by the time you are 13 or 14. At the moment I have no thought of doing the final deed with anyone other than my wife or wife to be but who knows if I will still be a virgin by the time I get married? If I do... know how to avoid certain consequences that could follow and I am not stupid. Many couples live together for years and get on fine. But I think children deserve two parents who have made a commitment to stay together. I think married couples make the best parents. As a 21st century dad too, I will develop my own parenting skills. I have learned a lot from my dad but there are a lot of things that have changed and will change. What was appropriate for him and I may not be appropriate for me with my own kids. By the time my kids are the age I am now it will likely be the middle of the century. There have been more new inventions in the last 100 years than in the whole of human existence.

Spanking your brother or a friend is fun. Spanking your son for discipline is not fun at all. That is what they tell me, and as it should be. Provided there are other appropriate sanctions and I think there are there should be no need for me ever to spank a son of mine. In your generation Mr. Rick the paddle or belt across a boy's bottom was seen as an effective way to punish a boy but not anymore. You could be right that there is not a boy alive who would not benefit from that but it is not going to happen. It may live on within the archaic rules of some states or some schools but most of them are like mine. I have never been to a school where is allowed w Ehen it has been needed dad has dealt with it in an appropriate. If I had been Dad Chip would have been spanked in New York. Maybe dad is moving with the times more than I am. Because he is a 21st century dad too. You can learn a lot about being a dad from a dad but in the end you have to go your own way, be your own man.

I would think any red-blooded 17 year old would hanker after adventure. I know there are fantastic places like the Pyramids of Giza, the Great Wall of China the Taj Mahal and the Grand Canyon. But there are some spectacular places closer to home. that equal those tourist hotspots. Yes I want to travel, explore the world and beyond but until I win the lottery and pass out of school it will have to be in my dreams and, something that I hope will be a part of my future.

It sounds like you had no nonsense disciplined at school and a healthy respect towards your dads spanking paddle and later his belt. He knew how to tan your hide when needed. You were probably not spanked that much at home. Most of the mischief a boy gets up to goes punished. If you know your dad will spank you and that it will hurt he should not need to do is very often. And let's face it. No one is naughty all the time. Most of the time most of us are being good. Until you get together with your buddies or mates. Then naughty becomes fun. Even for a naturally good boy like you Mr. Rick. But more likely dad is making bows and arrows for us in the woods lighting a BBQ in the backyard taking us to sports or on holiday wrestling or playing football in the yard (not much difference) making us laugh helping us to put together our models and being dad. Whatever the rights of wrongs of it... parenting and spanking I do not think there are many homes where it still goes on. Not even ours I hope. A parent can punish you good even if he OR SHE do not spank you

Exams are okay if you do not get stressed. I did okay across the board. Summer has started and we told the kids in the holiday club to bring swimming trunks because they would be getting wet. In the hottest after we he ever had we have to keep them cool and hydrated. They loved playing under the sprinklers. We did too.

It is always great to hear from you

Radley

Posted by R.J. on 2019-07-28 11:09:49

Radley...great to hear from you again. You caught me on the brink of leaving on a late summer family vacation. I'll read and respond when I return. Hope your summer break has been a good one.

Rick

Posted by R.J. on 2019-08-14 18:05:50

It is a wonderful time & moment of achievement Radley, so soak it in and enjoy. The last year of high school now and then the adventure as a young adult into a career world that will hopefully be fruitful for you. That leaving home is part of the maturing process and from all you've said in the past, you are not losing or leaving parents, but having good parents, they will always still be there for you and you'll learn even more relating on an adult basis. I did it with my parents and you'll do it too.

Social life for you and Chip will continue to advance too and you'll be exploring new adventures as an adult. Your social life with Lucy is part of the training ground to likely someday be that husband and dad. It might seem scary at times, but I sense you have that maturing foundation to succeed. Dad is a valuable resource and someday you will likely have that son who wants to model you. At that moment, all those good memories with your dad will re-surface and you'll know even better what a model in life he was for you. No dad enjoys whipping his son, but a good dad sometimes needs to do just that to keep his son(s) on straight path. There are alternatives to using a belt & maybe current & future will shy away from CP, but realize always that when dad resorted to the belt, he did it because he cares about you & Chip. Look how you guys survived it...rubbed your young butts when it happened; maybe glanced in the mirror to see red marks and then pulled up your pants & moved on maybe a bit sore but better boys for it.

Traveling is exciting and I'm sure your future will be filled with wonderful places to see. My wife & I just returned from our trip. Visited family. Renewed old times with friends, some dating back to my youth days. Always good however to just get back home too. Maybe just a sign of my aging. Being with wife or family is what is now most enjoyed & important...the site I most want to have & see.

Yes, there was a no nonsense discipline at both school & home...a sign of our times. It was expected because it was common enough for all guys and we shared our moments with close friends when one or more of us got a tanned hide. It didn't have often for me as you suggest. I was an overall good boy. Probably the same with you & Chip. It was a moment of experience at age 13 when my principal told my buddy & I we had earned a paddling on the seat of our school jeans. Never before for me at school, but all guys have "first times" I guess so I did as I was told...took out my wallet & bent over his desk and he paddle spanked my teen rear-end. I survived OK and so did my friend. You & Chip would too had your school been allowed to slipper, cane, paddle or strap your backsides. No doubt from things you previously said, you & Chip knew the meaning of lowering your trousers & undershorts to get it on your bottom, so school was not really much different for us other than it was school & not dad whacking our rear and grateful the VP didn't tell us both to lower our jeans first rather than just take out our billfold for his paddling. No doubt you & Chip likely have a spanking from your dad that you'll likely not forget...probably all guys recall such a moment. You both may have even done mischief at school and then had to anticipate for a few hours facing dad when you got home knowing you'd likely get it from him. Times change & maybe for the better and maybe spanking is old fashion, but in its day it worked.

Always great hearing from you too. Start off and have a good new school year and when time permits, stay in touch.

Rick

Posted by radleyradley on 2019-09-13 12:28:40

Hello again Mr. Rick

The summer holiday seems to have gone in a flash. It seems like only yesterday that I was packing up my books rummaging through my clothes looking for shorts and t-shirts and preparing for my summer job at the childrens holiday club.

We are already back at school but Monday was the first day of regular lessons. Of course as older students we have fewer lessons and spend more time in private study. One of the corrals in the library has become like a second home to me. No one disturbs me there and things happen when I am all alone and get bored.

So this is my final year at high school before introducing myself and launching myself on a big wide world out there. But it is a year away and there is a lot to do before that happens. There is a lot that I need to learn as I leave home that they do not teach us at school. Leaving home may sound a bit dramatic but it is the first step on the rest of my life, a necessary step along a well-worn pathway. Even when that happens I will not be leaving everything behind forever. I will have to make hard choices. This year is all that making sure I am ready for that, and make the grades to go to the right university when the time comes. It is also time to start thinking about careers and the future. That will surely influence my choice of courses to take to point me in the right direction, trying to open doors rather than restrict my options. In England your first degree is usually your only one so you need to get it right. Hey, first thing is to get there!

As kids our lives revolved around doing things with our families but now it is much more about doing things with our friends. Chip and I are both active guys play hard work hard enjoy life and keep busy. I smiled when you described my life with Lucy as a training ground for the future. I suppose is it possible one of us will meet somebody else one day who will take us in a different direction. But I know what I learn now will help me in the future as husband or even a dad.

I know I am lucky to have a Dad like mine. I have I said that many times. I value his sage advice even though I do not always follow it. I have always had great respect and love for him and by now I am thankful that he cared enough to paddle me pants down when nothing else seemed appropriate. I am not sure a young dad starting now would do that. I felt bad when dad whipped me but it did not happen very often and was always well deserved. Many people have consigned paddling kids to the past but many still believe a paddle is still useful part of a dads arsenal. Would you still do that if you knew you would get beat?

I hope that as I get older I will have more chances to travel to see new places and experience new cultures. There are not many truly wild places left, but there are some pretty neat places that I have never been to, new to me which I would enjoy exploring myself. I have told you before that there are some wonderful places in the United Kingdom. You could lose yourself here for a week or a month sir without visiting Amsterdam Paris or Rome! I am glad you are getting time to visit old haunts and new ones, meet up with family and friends but always be happy to come home and be home because it likely what you have given your life for and your home is yours, YOUR place. Give me 26 letters and I will tell you everywhere I want to go. Perhaps a bucket list! I am sure that when I am older I will have opportunities to travel beyond our visit to New York. My dad says travelling will open my eyes and broaden my horizons.

Chip and I are no angels but then you probably never thought we were. But we are no naughtier than our friends and some of them are naughtier than we are. Generally speaking we are well behaved and do what we are told. But sometimes we are naughty and I think that that had gone to your school sir or one that allowed corporal punishment I would sometimes go home with a sore bottom. I and Chip knew the meaning of lowering our trousers and briefs or boxers to get it on our bare bottoms. So not much different if the sore bottom was delivered at home. No better. No worse. Just different.

Yes I can remember long days at school when I knew that I was going to have a painful evening when I handed the discipline note to my parents. I practiced forging their signatures but I was too scared of how I would be punished if caught to actually try it. As I said most of the time Chip and I behaved at school. Why would we not?

Thankful for your good wishes

Best Wishes to you

Radley