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Parenting and Spanking

Response to Dennis

Posted by R.J. on 2019-06-04 17:03:54

Great to hear from you Dennis. Sounds as if things are going well and soon, I suspect, school will be out and you'll be preparing for the big Senior Year. Of course, Josh as a brother is your best friend. That is the way brothers should be. Even if Josh won't admit, dad is correct and knows he admires you as a big brother and best friend too.

So you and buddies made sure Justin's 17th was celebrated well with the tradition age + 1 paddling. Suspect he knew it would happen and would all be in fun. Probably not comparable to real spanking his dad had given him over years, but still something to remember when told to strip to briefs at 17 and a table tennis paddle is smacking your butt. Sounds like you remembered well too a recent birthday spanking you said Marcus gave you. All part of a rite of passage tradition I guess. We too were eager at that age to do "damage" check after.

I'm sure your Mr McCann was sincere in telling you how proud he was of you and the respect you've earned from him & others while serving this year on the student council. It has probably been a good learning experience too for you. It would be a hard task I would imagine trying to re-direct a peer's behavior and especially that time it was Josh and his behavior you dealt with. I guess it was a cause for a sibling argument, but down deep I'm sure Josh realized you were only reacting and counseling him as you would any peer at HS. Did the thought cross your mind to just report Josh's behavior to your dad & let him deal with Josh at home rather than confront & try to re-direct him at school? Might have taken a load off your shoulders, but then Josh may have viewed it as sibling 'snitching' which is never good between brothers. Were there times in prior years when a student council member had to counsel & try to re-direct your school behavior?

Dad is, and it is good family structure, to have him as the authority figure. He is the best authority not only in discipline matters, but to turn to for advice a boy might need on a variety of subjects. I've never doubted a moment that my dad should've tanned my bare hide at 16 for what I said & my added "I'm too old" attitude. You're likely correct that your dad, any good dad, would react & do the same. I knew I was guilty & even ashamed of how I acted. At 16, I could've resisted but that would've been more foolish & childish. I saw the belt already doubled over & so when dad said pants down & rollover, I just went face down on the bed & took the whipping I deserved. From what you've said about your relationship with your dad, I bet you would do the same even at 16/17. Groundings and stern parental talks do work as an alternative. Had those too growing up, but sometimes it simply takes an old-fashion $%!@ whipping to get a boy's attention, and behavior re-directed as you called it, especially as a teen. I said a few times, that first school paddling at 13, could've been handled with detention since I had a prior good conduct record, but getting my butt paddled by the VP left a deeper impression that detention might not have. Between the VP's paddle & my dad's belt that evening, my 13 y/o mind was convinced to never skip or forge again. Some of this might not yet make sense to you Dennis at 17, but there will likely be a day as an adult, especially if you are a dad, that it will register as making sense.

I am enjoying my retirement. Enjoy volunteering and see a contribution I can still make. Myself and family do still come first and that isn't being selfish, but rather I think sensible and responsible. Have done some traveling my wife & I enjoy and look to do more.

Yes, the world will deliver its problems to your lap and those others of your generation & I have confidence your generation will do well. My dad, your dad, were amazing men and we both are better men ourselves from the counsel and example they gave us. I know when the time arrives for your generation to pass the torch to the next, you'll see some failures, as I have, but overall you will be proud that you could pass off to them a better world and yes, the world will say: Dennis you did a good job, the best you were able to do.

Continue to stay in touch and hope your summer proves a good one.


Posted by Pineapple Rag on 2019-07-22 18:16:39

Hi Mr. Rick, sir

It is good to talk but a month is a long time and some of the things we have discussed are too long ago go or ancient history. But school is out, my summer lifeguard job is keeping me busy especially with the weather being so hot and things are looking good.

Josh is not just my brother. He is my best friend. That is as it should be. But it does not mean he is too old for me to sometimes spank and apparently nor am I. Josh does watch me and may look up to me as an older brother in the way you say. But if he does he does his level best not to show it. It goes both ways, I admire him too. At times. You do not need to be a Dad to sometimes see your younger self in a younger boy.

I think birthday spanking is something we will grow out of. 17, 18,19? I wonder if it will continue with a new bunch of boys when we all go our separate ways. Roommates, dorm buddies or new friends. Norman says his girlfriend spanked him it was not on his birthday. I wonder. My birthday was months ago go but Marcus and I have been spanking each other for years. We have not done it in ages now, nor have we wanted to. Yes a ritual damage check was always part of the action.

I hope Mr. McCann was sincere because he is a man I have a lot of time for. I think he was proud of the contribution I had made and the way in which I had changed and grown. I was proud too. My dad said something about that as well. I have learnt a lot as a member of the school council, about myself and others how to respect them and how to earn their respect. It is much easier to help people even redirect their behavior if they respect you. I have done a good job and I hope I will be reelected for next year ear. I tried to treat Josh just like any other 9th grader but it was impossible. For a long time i we were hardly like brothers at all now, but now Josh understands and we are friends again. Good thing it since we live in the same house and have rooms next to each other.

Now Mr. Rick please do not think that I was that well behaved at school. Some of the things I did would probably have gotten me school paddled in your day. I have had personal counseling and on the spot reprimands and warnings from members of the school council. But so has everyone. But for the most part if you go to my school you behave.

A Dad is the best authority for all the advice a boy might need on a variety of subjects. You can talk to him about anything without feeling embarrassed. And he is the authority who will provide appropriate discipline when needed, I have never doubted for a moment that my dad does what he thinks is best for me even if it is sometimes means to tan my bare hide. And I would know it was the right thing to. As you grow older you become embarrassed by getting into trouble for childish transgressions. I guess it because you are taking responsibility for them. When you know you deserve it you might as well drop your shorts and lie down. I would do that even at 16/17. I respect my dad that much.

I am sure that the first time you were paddled at school was not you had ever been naughty. Maybe it could better have been dealt with with a stern lecture and detention but I think feeling the paddle at school at the belt at home made an impression you are not likely to forget. You seem to have remembered it until now.

I am glad that you are enjoying your retirement. Time for you to do the things you want to do, have always wanted to do You have done your bit and now it is your privilege to be able to step back and enjoy what the world brings your way and know it is someone elses problem! I hope you have visited some awesome places in your travels.

One day people of my generation will inherit the Earth and it will be our job to look after it for our children. There are huge problems with wars climate change gun crime and hate violence. God help us.

If I can look back and see I am leaving my successors a better world than the one I found and know I had a part in making it better then I will die a happy man. And I hope I will have some happy kids to enjoy it. And one day inherit it.

I will stop there. Today is a day off work and I have promised to take Josie somewhere special

Goodbye for now sir


Posted by R.J. on 2019-07-27 17:11:38

Good Morning Dennis,

Enjoy hearing from you. Time slips away for us all, so don't fret over that. I'm sure you have been busy with end of school and putting summer activities together. Wait until you reach my age and realize how days seem to pass even more quickly. I'm glad to hear things are looking good...probably upcoming senior year among that.

You and Josh as best friends certainly is natural and something you both need to have and cherish throughout your life. Just as dad might see himself in his younger days in both you and Josh, no doubt you too see yourself in Josh and things you did, both good & naughty pranks. When you say Josh is not too old for you to spank sometimes, I'm sure you're referencing in fun only. To admire or look up to someone is an honor, but sometimes our ego leaves us shy to admit.

I'm not sure in these times when spanking has lost some acceptance, that guys will continue that ritual on birthdays even in jest. Certainly, as with all things, we do outgrow. Even in my day, I didn't fully comprehend how universal it was as a method of punishment until college dorm days when sitting around with mates 'shooting bull' we'd relate pranks pulled that got caught & how parent or school tanned our hides. We were boys of different social and ethic backgrounds but shared common pranks and punishments. We did the b-day ritual, when we knew a guy's b-day, in the dorm & as was true with friends in younger years, it was tradition in fun. New friends you make in college/dorm might now think different, only time will tell. Think it would make you uncomfortable if it was a new dorm roommate or dorm mate down the hall who got to know your birthday & decided you needed a b-day spanking from him or organize a group of guys from dorm to do it? So you have a friend, Norman, who admits he gets it from his gf & not even as a b-day ritual. How would you feel if Josie suggested the same for you or just whacked your backside? That would be different than from dad!!

I'm sure Mr McCann and dad are both sincerely proud of you. You likely have matured and student council was both a learning experience for you and a recognition that your classmates saw some maturity and responsibility in you to trust you by electing you to the council. If you won that respect last year, good chance they'll elect you again for senior year. You had to be impartial even with Josh. Might not be easy with a brother, but then over years it wasn't easy for dad to always correct either of you. You have learned that too and it will come in handy some day as a dad when you have to sit down for the talk or take action with one of your own. Need to be consistent and fair and do the tough love because you care. Josh had to react when you needed to correct him but in his heart, he knew you well and it just bruised his ego to admit.

A dad is both an authority figure, and needs to be, and best resource for a boy. He is your trainer, just as an athlete has a trainer/coach to develop his skills, as to how to become the man/dad/husband you need & want to be. Sure you respect your dad, because over years he has shown you he has earned that respect by being fair, firm and consistent with love/care. Wouldn't be easy at 17 to take it from dad on your butt, however if guilty & know it's deserved, sure you would strip down your britches and take it. Wasn't easy for me at 16 for my last from dad, but I took it & was deserved.

Retirement is a wonderful time and mine is proving to be that. Enjoy volunteering and enjoy just the pace to select what I want to do and to say "No" when necessary so not to over-commit or feel stressed. Time to relax too. Time to travel. Time to just enjoy family. Speaking of travel & family, off later this month to travel to share time with family members and don't have to watch clock or calendar to have to be back home on a certain time schedule. Over years, I've traveled alone or with family all across the US and to Europe, Caribbean, Central/South America and Canada. Life has been blessed and some day you will look back in retirement & hopefully will have done & said same.

Hope you & Josie had that special day you spoke of. Stay in touch when schedule does permit and what is left of summer break, enjoy to the fullest.


Posted by Pineapple Rag on 2019-09-08 20:28:36

Hello Mr. Rick sir

Minutes quickly turn to hours and days to months and suddenly the summer you were looking forward to is over and already it feels like winter is just around the corner. I was listening to Deezer today, all those cheesy Christmas songs of yesterday and today. It is funny how different people think about the same event in so many different ways. But that is not just Christmas is it? You talked about something similar happening when you were at university, meeting guys with different values different backgrounds and different experiences than your but finding there were some things you all shared.

I had probably the best summer of my life - so many highlights. I love the job working at the swimming pool, I loved that time I had to hang out with my friends and I loved the quiet times I had to share with my girlfriend Josie. Things are tense there but in a good way. I think it is only because we care so much, and I feel for her in a special way I have not felt before. Maybe it is being little older I have known Josie for a long time so it was funny that I suddenly saw something extra in her. Something I wanted and wanted to be part of. . Maybe that is just growing up.

The first few days back at school were a little bit unreal now we have been back a few days and Labor Day is behind us things are beginning to settle down and I am getting used to the idea that I little Dennis am a senior and back on o the school council. It is a huge honor to have been elected. I have a lot on my plate and the plate is only so big. The vice Principal told me my school work must always come first. I know that is right.

Sometimes my brother Josh and I scrap but we always make it up and most of the time we are good friends. He still does crazy stuff and sometimes. I see him playing the same stupid pranks I played peddling the same lame excuses I used and facing up to punishment. He does not get whipped nearly as much as I was even for the same thing. Yes when I spank him it is nearly always just fun although of course is more fun giving them receiving. There is never much more than a bit of a sting that soon wears off. I do know I am not the only boy who spanks his brother but I wonder why it is such a turn on. We used to do more of course you know experimenting with each other. Not so much now. I think Josh is very like me a lot of ways. He would not say so dad told me that Josh sees me as his role model and I should not be surprised if I see something of my younger self in him. He told me that it was an awesome responsibility to be an older brother. . He will always be my lil r bro, but more importantly he will always be my brother and that counts.

Spanking has a bad press but by the time you are 16 or 17 you are more likely to get from your friends than from your parents, and it is a spanking not dad sized punishment leathering. There is not much of that about days but a bit old traditions die hard. I have been given birthday spankings for many years. It was something that just happened, a rite of passage. I did not expect my 17th birthday to be any different. I wonder what will happen this year as we all turn 18. Or are at college? Or whenever? I not see myself getting it when I am an old man with a long gray beard. Maybe as you suggest this is one tradition which has had its day. I cannot imagine any circumstances when Josie would spank me even though she might give me a playful swat across my bottom once in a lifetime. If she did tell me to take down my shorts I know I would have to. I think she knows that too. I think I know it is not going to happen.

As for Norman whatever gets your mojo going. If it works for him... Josie knows I have had plenty of spanking growing up but if we are going to be parents in the 21st century we do not believe it is ever necessary or even desirable to his a child and there is always another way to discipline them. I know you think that all boys need at least upon spanking but we think one may be one too many. You and I are probably quite similar in values outlook and strong parenting but from different generations so each a different conclusion over spanking

It does not matter how old you are for so long as your dad is there he is your dad. He has always been the authority in your life, as he should be and you owe him your respect and your love. He has always done everything for you and it is down to his guidance advice and counsel that you have turned us as you have. Just being 17 does not change any of that. And you know that if it came to that your shorts would come down. You trust him as someone who has always been firm fair and consistent. And right. Parenting and spanking? Yes it's still goes on.

Retirement is some way of for me. I may have done some life saving but I have never had a proper or permanent job. I hope that by the time I get to retirement age I will have many memorable things to look back on say hey Dennis you did a pretty good job. I will live my life to the full and a use my retirement to do all those I have not yet found time to do.

I had some very special times with Josie on my days off. It was good to the jingle of coins in my pocket and to know my billfold was full allowing us to enjoy the better things of life. I spent almost $500 on one night out but Josie's shining eyes, the feel of her heartbeat, the touch her hands her head on my shoulder and... I think it was just as well THAT goodnight kiss was out of sight her house- made it worth all that. And of course when I got home /I undressed and lay back on my bed There was one squeeze left in the lemon.,

That is all for now. I have still got homework complete.


Posted by R.J. on 2019-09-16 15:05:31

Hi Dennis, and yes summer has passed and we all look forward to autumn and I hope in your area it is full of color as the seasons change. Hope it was a good summer overall for you and now you are ready for that all important senior year. Going off to university at 18 was a big transition in my life. New friends to make. New learning on my own with a different sense of independence and responsibility. Guys in the dorm, as I recall, represented a variety of social, geographic and cultural backgrounds, but to help survive the transition, we helped one another. That was a valuable learning time beyond professors and classroom instruction. After awhile, we did learn from each other things we had in common now and from years growing up.

Congratulations on being re-elected to the school counsel. Your classmates must have great respect for you and your ability to represent them and the senior class's needs. I'm sure your VP and parents are too likely proud of you. Take that advice and always put school assignments first. Don't fall into the trap thinking 'senior privilege' and become '$%!@y' in your position or status.

What you say confirms you & Josh are typical brothers. Brothers do scrap but end up resolving those differences. At his age, you likely did stupid stuff too and lame excuses. Part of all boyhoods. Had no brother to spank, but we did those spanking games for fun within close friendships. Likely more fun to give than receive, but overall be it a game or your birthday, it seemed to equal out what end of the paddle. I'm sure you & Josh will come to the age when you look back and chuckle, though not funny at the time, how dad paddled or leathered your bottoms and realize even better why he had to do it. It didn't 'kill' you and it wasn't really a beating, but your butt was sore for awhile after. At university you might discover, as I did, just how universal that method of punishment was for most boys and everyone will likely tell a 'war story' about the worst butt whipping they got from their dad. Or, maybe times have changed!!

No disagreement on my part. Your dad is and always should be an important influence in your life. I lost a great best friend when my dad had that heart attack and died when I was only 27. He was my dad and he had my respect until that last day on earth.

Thanks and great to hear from you.