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Parenting and Spanking

New York Boy

Posted by Boy from New York on 2018-10-13 12:55:05

Hello Mr. Rick

I have read several times your account of the time you opened your mouth one tme too many times and told your dad you were too old to be paddled. You said it was not a smart move because he decided that even if you were too old to be paddled you were not too old (or too young) to get the belt.

That did not happen to me but it reminded me or something similar from my growing up years. As a little kid I was more likely to be spanked by mom and by dad, simply because she was there when I needed spanking. She always had my pants down but to make it clear that was to make it hurt more she seldom had my briefs down as well. Brief is the word because those skimpy shorts covered little and left large areas of the bottom bare. She always used a hairbrush. It was mostly done over her knee or her lap.

I remember the occasion she was giving me a hiding to remember and it was beginning to sting like hell and really hurt. I was trying really really really hard not to cry and I do not know why I thought it would be a good idea to wind her up. There was no way it was going to help me. So I almost goaded her to spank me harder claiming that doesn't hurt! I cannot think why I said such a stupid thing. It made my mom who was already mad with me even madder and she rained down more harder swats on my bottom.

She did not use the hairbrush much after that. She thought it was time Dad took over punishing a wayward son. He did not $%!@ foot either and by the time I started High School if I was spanked at all, and I was, dad would take me upstairs or send me to fetch the belt from my room and reacquaint my bottom with the leather.

My parents were good to me, are good to me. There were rules but not too many and there was moderate reasonable punishment suitable for a growing boy. Of course my best friend Ollie was also sometimes involved. Well actually most of the time. His dad and mine did not make much distinction between us when it came to dealing with our naughtiness and misbehavior. There was always some of that, but then we were boys.

Our parents have time for us. Time to praise and ti to admonish and time to be parents as well as friends. We play we laugh we talk and maybe it is that that your young clients missed most of all.

Security structure safety and guidance are things we all need.

Jamie

PS And I passed my driving test :-) Just

Posted by R.J. on 2018-10-14 17:00:12

Hi Jamie,

You do seem positive and that is a wonderful trait. I'm sure there are many good and positive days ahead for you in life. Maybe mom & dad can do those nice & extensive trips, but you can make a trip to the boardwalk with Kirstie special too.

I'm sure both you & Ollie are now aware that the air rifle is not really a toy and old enough and showing maturity that does not require much adult supervision. Making a strip game out of it or any bet challenge is something guys have done for generations.

By 16, neither of you should require a paddling or the belt. As juniors in HS you both are emerging into young men rather than boys and you especially Jamie, being on the student council, must realize that others recognize your maturity and being a level of responsibility beyond mere boyhood. Don't become however so confident to ever believe at 16 that your dad or Ollie's can't or won't still belt tan either of your hides if it needs to happen to keep you on the straight path or to avoid a really bad mistake. A good dad will do that out of care/love for his offspring.

What you describe of that relationship with Ollie is certainly long term and very supportive in nature and that is healthy & good for the both of you. I hope you both will keep it going into adulthood. A friend needs a good/loyal friend always.

That mask ball would be a fun event. The mystery of who is who would only make it more challenging and awesome. Yes, lucky and wise not to kiss the wrong girl, or in fact, for Kristie to kiss another guy. Being dark might sound like a good excuse but doubt either you or Kristie would want to 'buy' that excuse.

It has been a long while since I was 16, but yes I can remember some cute and great adventures as a teenager. People use to say that HS years are likely the best years in a young person's life. Looking back, they were probably right. Would I want to go back now and re-live teen years?--not really!! They were good, but life now is good too in many ways also. At every stage of life, you can make it good and positive, as you have often said, and appreciate the new challenges/adventures. It is nice too though, to hear you & other youths say what is happening in their lives--brings memories. If you want, share later how that Halloween party turns out.

I saw your other message too. Seems to have several duplications within it that has confused me as I skimmed it reading. Will go at it again later when I have more time and digest it better. Be patient with me and I'll respond probably later in the week. For now however, let me say CONGRATULATIONS on passing that drivers' exam. I do recall mine at 16 and it might just be a milestone event in a boy's life. Now, without sounding too much 'dad' in advice, you apparently have a good dad who has already advised you, drive carefully & with good common sense. No one would want you in an accident or bodily harmed or impose harm on Kristie in the car with you or another innocent driver on the road. A car is not a toy!!

We'll talk again soon.

Rick

Posted by Boy from New York on 2018-10-15 10:41:37

ding ding ding crash! Guess I dropped a clanger!

Wiil edit last message to make i an easier read

All the best

Jamie

Posted by R.J. on 2018-10-21 22:45:03

Jamie, those techno 'dings' happen to us all. Was just initially confused and difficult to read. Read it now and as always enjoy hearing from you.

Yes, that opening my mouth one too many times, or too much, was a memory I'm not all that proud of & never forgot. A big part is the fact I was 16 and old enough to darn well know better. I hurt myself more with those words than my dad's belt on my bare a$$ that evening. All out of character for me and I saw the hurt too on my dad's face & in his eyes and that hurt me inside. I deserved every lick of that belt leather I got & I guess seeing dad toss the paddle aside and unbuckle his belt woke up my 16 y/o brain to what I had said and it was no longer unreasonable for dad to say...rollover face down on the bed and get your butt bare. I tell you this, so you'll never be that stupid with your mom or dad. Your dad or Ollie's ever put you guys face down & bare rear on a bed rather than OTK or having you simply bent over?

As a little kid, I don't remember mom spanking me. She was more inclined to stand me in the corner or sit me for awhile on a chair in the room she was working in. I got my cry in & promised mom I'd behave. That ended it sometimes & dad never found out; other times she told him when he got home and dad would sit & haul my kid frame over his lap, which was common for kids in my day, & I'd feel his hand reach under & undo my lil' britches or grab the elastic waist of play shorts & briefs and he'd spank my bare bottom. Dad never used a brush or had a cut switch that I recall. There was a paddle on the inside of mom's utility closet hanging and dad's belt on the waist of his trousers, that tanned butt. White briefs (we didn't have the colored ones back then) were as you said 'brief' in covering a bottom. How old were you then when you goaded her to spank harder with that brush? Was she inclined to take a lick or two on the more tender lower bottom where you sat--what we then called our sit-spot? Mom ever feel the need to brush paddle you and then tell dad so he'd put a dad-style butt tanning on your rear when he got home?

So dad would send you to fetch the belt. For my dad it was always handy in the loops of his trousers. If you had to fetch it from your room, where then did dad take you & expect you to bring the belt from your room to get that leather tanning? Some dad's of my friends preferred to spank in a bathroom or parent's bedroom, but most were like my dad and used our bedroom. A few guys with more siblings around said they got it out in the garage or down in their basement to earn some privacy to scream if needed as butt got a whipping. My parents were the best too. Loved and respected them & they loved and cared about me. Couldn't have ask for better growing up. I recall you saying it never bothered you to have Ollie present when spanked because he was like a brother, but did it seem better to have him there & you guys support one another awaiting or getting spanked, maybe console each other afterwards, or would you have rather taken it solo and recover, even cry if you felt the need, after alone? I bet you and Ollie weren't really bad boys, but like all boys just a bit naughty at times

What you describe of parental relationship & time together, mirrors what my youth days and relationship with parents was too. You are 100% correct in saying that is what most of my clients were missing. Many families were dysfunctional. Some were single mom homes...I'm sure your mom was great, but can you imagine what it would be like if you hadn't had your dad? All boys challenge authority and especially around age 11-15...a mom might yell or even threaten or take a brush to your hide like your mom did, but I know when dad 'laid down the law' I listened more & I bet that got your attention, maybe Ollie's attention too, realizing dad would put a lesson on your rear-end if you didn't get the act together & straighten up soon. Some of my clients needed that dad-figure they never had. I could tell with some clients I counseled that was what they wanted/needed, a male voice giving instructions. They knew & I knew there was no permitted physical correction option, but I became a dad-figure, maybe later on a granddad-figure to younger ones, & my words got to their brains in as an effective way that a lickin' on their bottom might've worked 5-10+ years earlier. I don't think you have to spank to be effective. I think words that leave the message that you are seen as 'worth love & care' reaches a boy's heart & calms behavior as much as, maybe more so, than tanning a butt. For boys though, you, Ollie, me, & almost every young guy, there was effectiveness too in hearing "get'em down" and feeling a hand/paddle/brush/switch/belt on your butt.

Again, congrats on passing that drivers' test. Glad to hear from you.

Rick

Posted by Boy from New York on 2018-11-04 10:27:24

Hello again Mr. Rick.

Technology is wonderful when it works and we feel so let down when it does not or went we make an error.

I guess we all had those times in our life when we feel I'm a little serve down and not Too Proud our actions words or behavior. I do not have enough fingers and toes to count them.

I do not know which was worse out of your mouth and your attitude but I think you're dead probably did the right thing in that moment at that time. I am sure the belt hurt on your bare bottom but you said what hurt even more was the hurt look in your dad's eyes. I have seen that look too and it is not very nice. I guess you did not think before telling your dad you were too old to be paddled or did not think that he would turn to the belt as a suitable alternative. I know how severe the belt is because that is what my dad uses on me, has used on me. I do not think hope he will do it again but there are certain actions which could only have that conclusion.

Ever is a very big question but I am sure they both did put both of us face down on a bed with our jeans and shorts down. Usually it is over the back of the chair or if we are downstairs the arm of the sofa, you could be paddled or whipped almost anywhere. We were most usually spanked in the bedroom, Ollie s or mine. I am too tall to go over the knee anymore but my experience there is I think similar to yours.

I must have been quite young when I goaded my mum to spank me harder. If I had been a little older I would have had the sense not to say something so stupid and in any case dad would have been punishing me. It was before I went to Middle School I think a lot of boys get mouthy about then and think they can get away with anything. Mum used to spank the whole bottom particularly the part out with the leg holes and when you did not need to see the damage in the mirror to know she had.

If mum gave you a licking you knew you had had a licking and no further punishment was required. The naughty chair time out was sometimes enough but other times it was a prelude to something more when dad got home. I should stress that Dad getting home did not necessarily or even usually mean a spanking. There are other dad sized punishments for boys like us.

Ollie and I were never really bad boys, but we were boys and so like all boys everywhere just a bit naughty at times. Sometimes we were a bit naughtier than that. But most of the time we were just playing and having fun.

I think togetherness open relationships and two-way communication are the essence of a happy family. If you have those you need little more. Without them nothing else will do. We were the lucky ones with strong stable relationships at home and parents who were both there for us in their own ways.

There is a lot your mum can do for you but a teenage boy really needs a Dad there. He is not just there to discipline you. He will take you to the ball game or football practice run with you along the beach razz and tease you and take whatever you give him back, talk with you about boy things and provide you with a wonderful role model of Man husband and father. Every boy needs dad or dad figure in his life.

I think it is horses for courses and different things are effective for appropriate at different times with different dads and different boys. Anything that leaves that message that he is with love and care is bad to touch a boy's heart and make him want to show you his better side. I know how effective spanking was on my bottom but I also know there are other ways and many boys get by without it. It was you who said that there is not a boy alive who does not need at least once making. Do you still think that? The realization that Dad really is about to turn your hide, and that feeling you have as you tug your jeans and shorts down and bend over is almost as effective as the pain he lays on your butt.

I have taken the car how's a few times on my own and dad is teaching me to be a better driver. But just imagine how I felt the first time I arrived at Kirstie s house driving myself. It may have been mom s old runaround but to me it felt more like a limousine.

That is all for now but please keep in touch.

Best wishes

Jamie