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Parenting and Spanking

New York Boy

Posted by Boy from New York on 2018-09-08 12:25:03

Rick and Jamie

Hi Rick

It is always good to hear from you especially with such kind comments. Thank you so much. I am glad that you see something in me to admire. It gives me a special glow when adults I respect tell me I have done something right.

It is a great privilege and an honor to serve on the student council. I sometimes wonder why I was chosen, but I was and here I am. At our induction the Principal spoke to us about our additional responsibilities and the expectations he has of us as student council members. He has never spoken to me before. I know there is still some boyhood lingering around the edges that spells mischief, and I know I will have to work to curb that. But overall I agree with you and like to think that I am beginning to show some of that growing maturity that is blooming inside. So let's work on those rough edges. We will be making important decisions on the student council. Maybe it will help us to make better decisions when we are making them for everybody's future and all our tomorrows.

Labor Day marks the end of the summer vacation and the return to school. I would not say that we were tired of summer vacation and that we were looking forward to school. But I think this year will be different. I am no longer a little kid. I will be a junior. I will be on the student council. Yes, it may be hard to get up some mornings. Even though I was working at the burger shack all summer there were no early mornings there. There will be new challenges at school but change is the spice of life. If it is too easy it ceases to be interesting. At my school they aim to stretch you, stretch your mind, make you think. There are plenty of good things to look back on, but perhaps now is the time to look forward. It is a big wide world out there and there is plenty of us to challenge and improve. We might not be able to do it today or even tomorrow but one day we will. Thank you for your good wishes. I am glad you enjoyed your vacation and travels

The Vietnam War the race riots and Watergate are all part of history now but they are still a part of us and remain important. I wonder if there will be as much history in my lifetime.

Your generation was promised much in terms of free love, prosperity and the good life. You were promised a better world and a better life. And what did you get? Sleaze, scandal and corruption. A campaign of fear, a rejection of allies and... I do not think the world or even America is a better place despite the optimism of the 1960s and 1970s when you grew up. You lived through them Mr. Rick but as a boy I wonder how aware you were of what was going on in those pre social media days. Your generation wanted the better world and started to make changes. Some for the better and some that did not work out as you hoped. . I am one of the most positive people you could hope to meet. I am also quite ambitious. Good enough is not good enough for me because there is always better. It takes courage to make changes when you are not quite sure what will happen. And sometimes change happens in a way you do not notice until it has happened. Now Mr. Rick I will not get discouraged. As a Boy Scout I promised on my honor that I would do my best. I may not be a Boy Scout anymore but I think that promise is a good one to keep, a good guide for today.

Ollie and I knew what we did with the air rifle was wrong. What made it worse was that we had not asked for permission because we knew the answer would be no. There was a thrill factor both in using the rifle and in knowing that- I do not know why boys like being naughty but we do. But there was not much thrill factor when we were caught and punished. I am not sure how closely we had applied dad's safety rules but we did not kill anything or hurt ourselves. My dad paddled both of us. He knew we needed to learn a hard lesson and understand that rules are rules and are there for a reason. We did not seem to have picked up that lesson so he laid it on our bottoms. I can tell you we did not use that rifle again without adult supervision. And in the two years since then my views on firearms have crystallized. Now do not think I am opposed to target shooting, pop guns and air guns and hunting. And I suppose in some circumstances serviceman need to be armed. For the rest of us? Things have changed since the second Amendment was drafted and I cannot think of many circumstances where keeping an automatic rifle at home is necessary and can be justified. Not now. I am not saying nobody should have a gun. Far from it. But I do believe there need to be some controls on who has weapons and who has ammunition! It makes you think. Ollie and I learnt from the air gun incident so I suppose my dad was right to paddle these two boys bare bottoms. It was not the first time not the last time that happened.

Dad could have taken us up to my room but thought the garage would do. It gave us a level of privacy but anyone who had been near would have heard the unmistakable sounds of two boys being paddle spanked. It was a long time ago but it is something I will keep with me forever.

There were times my dad could have paddled other friends too. But usually you were sent home and had to face your own Dad. And if another Dad did paddle you the last person you were going to tell was your Dad. We had all been punished for getting into trouble away from some (like at school).

It sounds like your school Principal was an expert with that paddle. Did he need to use it much? Can you remember ever expecting the paddle at school and not getting it? Or did you never expect it until it was too late?

Did we cry? I am sure we did as little kids, but by the time we were eleven we tried not to. Especially not in front of each other. I do not know if tears washed away pain and guilt but Dad always came to talk with us afterwards to help us feel good again after a licking. I do not know how he found the right words to say but somehow he always did. Did you sometimes wonder what to say when you punished your sons? Or did you just follow your dad's maxims?

I guess Ollie and I were what you called old pros in taking the paddle in brief boy briefs and bare from both our dads. We are normal guys, probably not that different from you and your friends at our age. So I am sure we could have handled getting paddled over pants or jeans at school, if it has come to that.

As a kid I would unsnap my jeans pull my briefs down and bend over when told to without a second thought. I knew it was the inevitable result of some mischief. As a teen it was usually my mouth and an attempt to challenge parental authority. And that was also clearly laid on my bottom. But it is much harder now I am 16. It is that horrible realization when you realize that Dad really is going to whip you when you feel you are really too old for that kind of punishment. But you know that this is not negotiable so you have to pull down your pants your shorts and grit your teeth.

Some behaviors leave a dad with very few options other than to whip your hide however old you are. A mouthy and sometimes disrespectful teenager is heading for trouble. I think my dad would do the same to me as you would do to your son. Maybe that would get me crying again, tears of genuine pain.

Summer was awesome, the best. At least the best so far. So many good things happened. But now we are back at school there are new routines and different priorities. Yes, it is a bit of a balancing act to ensure time for every purpose including school and student council, my girlfriend Kirstie, my best friend Ollie and all of my other buddies. Stevie has arrived while I have been writing. We are going to try and mend the vacuum cleaner. It was not altogether our fault but we will still be made to pay the engineer if we cannot do it.

I hope that you are enjoying your volunteering. Must be good to know that you make a difference. Some older people I know try to do the same things they did when they were 21 and go too fast and hurt themselves. Please do not do that.

Like you I get to choose what I want within a price range. Of course I would like to be able to wear designer clothes but Wal-Mart shorts do the job just as well. I do not like having to wear Kevin's hand-me-downs. Luckily most of his hand me downs have been handed down to somebody else. So I choose and dad or mom pay and everybody is happy.

Thank you for your suggestions on how to maintain harmony in a family situation. I know that the decisions my parents make are the ones they think are best to me but I do not always agree with them. But I know it is better to listen to my dad because he is the one best placed to help me become a man I can be proud of. I would gladly give him a break if it meant he did not have to take the belt to my bottom again.

That is all for now. Stevie is beginning to mess with his buttons.

Bye for now

Jamie

Posted by R.J. on 2018-09-14 16:30:57

Jamie, I only said what I saw and felt truthful. All guys mess up sometimes & have to bite the bullet over their actions, but that doesn't say an adult or one of your peers can't admire you. To tell me that I'm an adult you respect is an honor.

Others likely see that maturity developing too and want you to represent them. That is why you are on the student council. They trust you & that does entail a responsibility. It is better the principal speak to you under these conditions rather than speak to reprimand you over some mischief. Agree?

It is good that school attempts to stretch your abilities. That's their job and it is your responsibility to then stretch yourself to apply your best. I think you're up to that. It is 'past' that is foundation; it is 'present' that is important to work hard to build; it is 'future' that you will stand back and admire what you built & achieved. I sense a fine lad like you will have many admirers stand along beside you in your future. As to any history in you lifetime, that is for you and your generation to create. Do a good job!!

I think I and my generation were aware. We didn't have the social media of today, but we were pro-active on social issues in our ways. We were called rebels by some; as hippies by others. We did our 'love-thing' but you and your parents generation (maybe your generation too) are the result. We screwed-up some things that you and your mates will still need to work on to correct, but we did our best too and when history writes even more, my generation had both pros and cons in balance to leave you.

What your dad did with you & Ollie at 14 over the air rifle was to react as any good and responsible dad would do. There will be a situation when you & Ollie are likely dads too with a son who doesn't ask permission, knowing the answer would be "NO" and out of similar love & care for that boy's safety and to teach obedience to rules you set, you too will likely take his bare butt to task with a paddle or belt. Dads have been taking skivvies down & whipping bare $%!@ for generations and we still have produced some damn good men as a result of it. You and Ollie survived OK. Did dad have a paddle or have something that was paddle-like out in the garage or were you sent to fetch it from the house to get the paddling you & Ollie had coming? From what you said, I take it that Ollie didn't go home after that paddling to complain to his folks of the paddle spanking he got...better to just rub your butt and say nothing!!

I didn't realize what an expert the vice principal was with a paddle that first time in 8th. I guess getting it pants down at home left me the impression that over jeans would amount to nothing. With pockets empty and your seat tightly snug bending over the desk gave him a perfect target to lay paddle wood below those patch pockets on my Levis and make sure my sit-spot was uncomfortable afterwards to sit in class. He didn't paddle I guess all that frequently, but didn't hesitate if something serious was referred to him. We had some male teachers with their own paddles for a 2-3 swat quickie for simple classroom naughty boys out in the hall...those didn't usually get a note home so if you had one coming, better in the hall than office & no note. I guess I should've been paddle at school before 8th but lucky I escaped.

At school, I didn't dare cry over a paddling with friends around; at home & just dad & I, the tears flowed. Did you & Ollie ever get it in front of each other and it hurt bad enough to bring on tears in front of each other? My dad did as much in comforting me or maybe more than busting my behind. Dads just naturally know what to say and maybe based on what they recall from what their dad had said to them. I followed my dad's philosophy as a dad...cool-off first; do it bare butt; let them know I still love.

I suspect a boy's mouth is a frequent culprit that earns a butt tanning. That in summary was my biggest teen problem. Around 16 I felt too old to still be paddled & made the mistake to utter that at the wrong time with dad. He tossed the paddle aside & proved a 16 y/o boy was not too big for his britches to come down and a belt to wise him up and adjust his attitude. Recall you saying in a recent message your dad had to belt tan your 16 y/o bare hide because of your mouth. Were you too embarrassed to let Ollie know that happened?

Glad your summer was a great one. Yes, at 16 and a junior it must seem quite an act of balancing time to get everything achieved. You're that positive-nature boys, so I know you'll handle just fine. Apparent you & Stevie messed up a vacuum cleaner. A bit of that summer job pay might need to go in that direction if I'm hearing what you say. I too had a great summer with wife, seeing family, traveling, connecting with some old friends & colleagues. If one thing retirement has taught me, it is to say NO and mean it so I don't over-commit. Got a good handle on that now I think.

My mom & dad were great friends & dependable mentors growing up and I get the sense your folks are too. Teens will not always agree over things, but that is natural and parent realize that too. A little give-n-take and family harmony is maintained. I don't know if you mean 'messing with his buttons' that Stevie is doing it with the vacuum or his jeans or just testing at pushing your buttons, but in any sense, it was good hearing from you and get to work on studies, vacuum, or what is next priority.

Rick

Posted by Boy from New York on 2018-09-22 13:55:19

Hi Mr. Rick

I think we all have good days and bad days, days when we are pleased with what we have done and days when we are not. Sometimes there are things to admire but heck all boys mess up sometimes. I think the most important thing is to make sure you make more of those good days. And make fewer mess up days. Self-respect is the most important but you can only imagine the way I feel that someone like you respects and admires the way I act and the things I say. Wow.

I am so proud that other people want me to represent them. I think it is a sign of my developing maturity that I can be trusted enough to be given this responsibility.

I have hardly ever spoken it to the Principal and he has never reprimanded me over my behavior. When needed the Dean or our counselor deal things in the intervention room. But yes being asked what you and students think beats getting a reprimand.

Anyone can strive to do his best. Dad knows I am smart enough to benefit from a school where I will be stretched. They provide the opportunities and the rest is up to me. But underachieving is not an option. The work is hard but then it has to be and to be honest there is not a lot of time or inclination to get into trouble. We have our days and there are issues but, oh well I guess that is why there is a student council.

We will build upon your foundations, develop what is good for our present and future, maybe at the end of the day look back and say we did that. I hope it is something to look back on with pride. That is my ambition. I am not doing it for admiration. That is quite a chilling observation. The more people admire you the more you have to make sure you do not let them down. That is my future.

On reflection I think history happens all the time. What is remembered is what is recorded even if it is not quite the way things happened. Things happen and things develop whether you plant them or not. What makes history is how we respond to those circumstances and situations we encounter. Think of our situation today, think of the chaos in Europe in Africa. in Russia... I wonder what history we will leave behind.

What my dad did with Ollie and me at 14 over the air rifle was what any good and responsible dad would do. I am sure he could have found something in the garage that he could have used to paddle us. He must have thought it would have more impact if we, I, was sent to fetch the paddle from the house. Believe me, it had plenty of impact on both our 14 year old bottoms.

We took the punishment as best we good, not that we had any choice and survived. The punishment was appropriate and sufficient cover I love to make sure we would not break the rules again in a hurry not like that at any rate. I hope we will develop on into what you called damn good men and sensational dads who will know what to do when we find little Jamie or little Ollie doing just what we did at their age.

Too right that Ollie did not go home after that paddling to complain to his folks of the paddle spanking he got. He knew he deserves it as much as I did. In the end dad taught Ollie and me both how to use the rifle safely and responsibly. We are older now. And we have permission to go target shooting tomorrow.

I did not dare cry over a paddling with friends around. At least by age 11 I could usually stem the ears or blink them back. Ollie and I were often spanked in front of each other and as little kids it sometimes hurt enough for both of us to be crying. We struggled to not cry but sometimes nothing else would do.

I think what Dad says after punishing you is as important or more important than what he says before punishing you. While your butt is still hurting you are at your most receptive. My dad always does find the right words to say. I wonder how

If dad belt tanned my 16 y/o bare hide for any reason I did not need to tell Ollie. He would know. And we had no secrets. There was nothing I would be too embarrassed to tell him. So I did share it with him and he offers his usual sage advice. You shouldna done that Jamie, shouldna said that. Which I already knew.

I am hoping that the new school year will bring some adventures like summer did. It will mean some juggling to fit everything in. I do not know where I will find the money to pay my share of the vacuum cleaner engineer’s fee. I blew all my money on a special masked ball date with Kirstie. Dad said if it had not been for Stevie and me the vacuum cleaner would have still have worked. I am still looking for parts (lederhosen) of my Hansel costume for Halloween. With Kirstie as Gretel I bet we will be the cutest couple there. I am sure that if I stay positive things will work out. . I am glad you enjoyed the summer. Even when you are retired you need holidays. The winter is a time to dream but in the summer you can get out and do it.

My parents are good to me ever loving and ever dependable. We do not always agree and sometimes row but in the end sense prevails and with a give and take a compromise can usually be found. With my increasing maturity and understanding that happens more than more. My parents always listen to my point of view and it is always taking into account when any decision has to be made. My view matters to them. I wonder how many teenagers would be happy to say that!

Once we had finished messing with the vacuum cleaner I meant that Stevie was messing with the buttons on his jeans. We both took our jeans down and stripped to our underwear. I was scared because I was getting hard and I did not want to do anything with Stevie like that but that did not stop us getting naked. It is not as much fun as it used to be play with another boy's bits so we made a happy compromise, something we were both happy with and something that would not compromise either of us. For us guys being naked means just that and nothing more. Stevie knows just what buttons to press to get me fired up and looking for action but this time he did not press them.

Posted by R.J. on 2018-09-30 20:23:19

Jamie, those good days and bad days will follow you into adulthood, that I can say from experience. Continue to be that positive person and don't become discouraged. I look back on many good days and experiences and you'll have them too. I didn't intend my words to merely flatter, they were sincere that you are maturing. Being reprimanded is part of growth. We've all had those days too. I'm sure your principal as well as your parents are proud of you and rightfully so.

What dad did with you and Ollie over the air rifle is what was needed at the time. You were 14 and knowingly overstepped your bounds. Responsible parents correct such behavior because they love and care. If dad sent you to fetch the paddle from the house, it must have been a few tense moment for Ollie alone with your dad and he knew the fate he had coming. Think the paddle was a better option than had dad used the belt he likely wore? By 14, though not all that frequent, my backside was already acquainted with the belt. The foundation that both dads built for you and Ollie will rub off and influence you both when you are dads. After keeping a straight face during punishment, you both as dads will retreat privately and likely chuckle over thoughts of how you behaved at their age too. You'll hate the fact you needed to punish but will realize you did what was required & think: Wow!! a chip off the old block is my kid.

Dads know the right words because they were a boy too and heard those words from their dad and it got stored somehow in their brain. Words flow easy when you love the recipient and most dads are still proud of their son, maybe a little frustrated though, even when they mess up. Afterwards talks are very important as you say.

You probably did know it already before Ollie gave that 'sage advice,' but still nice to have a good friend that can confide in each other. Would you have given him the same advice if rolls reversed? Keeping no secrets from each other, know/suspect Ollie might have been on that same end of a belt still?

I don't remember you saying what you & Stevie did to the vacuum cleaner. A mask ball sounds need and so does the costume theme you and Kirstie came up with. Cute couple you say!! Wow...the magic of being 16. Your words stir memories for me.

Your relationship with your parents sounds real wholesome and healthy. You are a lucky young man. I say that having seen many 'unlucky' lads over years in my career. I know many young guys, likely girls too, who wish they could say that about their parents and who should get down on their knees and give thanks.

Always enjoyable to hear from you. After the mask ball, share what happened if it turned out as great as you hope. You are a positive guy and that always comes across in your messages, so stay that way. Until later then...

Rick

Posted by Boy from New York on 2018-10-05 17:02:25

Hey Rick

If you are as positive as I am you hope for good days and better days as you grow older onto teen years and beyond. Dad can take mom to the Caribbean or California and I can only take Kirstie to the milk bar on the boardwalk.

The air rifle incident was a long time ago. Ollie is now quite a good shot and his targets always score better than mine. He recently made me strip as a forfeit for losing a bet on that. But it is no big deal stripping with Ollie. I have nothing he has not seen a hundred times. Be sure we ALWAYS get permission first, and now we are old enough to use an air rifle without close adult supervision.

Dad has used the paddle and his belt across my bottom. It still hurts. He does not use either very often now. Maybe he will not spank me how I am maturing now I am a junior. Ollie s dad still keeps a belt handy but he has not used it on either for us in ages. We will try and make sure that last time was our last.

I knew I had messed up before Ollie gave that 'sage advice,' stating the obvious but it was still nice to have a good friend who is always on your side, always there to help you out. Yes, of course I have done that for Ollie, offered him my best advice and sympathy when needed. What kind of a friend would I be if I did not do that?

The vacuum cleaner? I think if Stevie and I had a clearer idea as to what we have done we would have had a better chance of mending it. As it was we got the blame for everything. . The mask ball was so much fun, but scary some too because you were not always sure who was who. But that made it more fun in some ways too. I was lucky I think not to kiss the wrong girl. You know. In the dark. I wanted to.

We have not told many people that we will be Hansel and Gretel at the Halloween party. We have tried on our costumes and in the large mirror in Kirstie's room we looked pretty smart pretty cool and very, perhaps I should not be saying this myself but very cute. Sickeningly cute. We love it and we know we will wow our friends at the party. Is it just because I am 16? Can you remember doing something like that with some special young lady when you were 16?

My driving test is on Monday. I am more nervous than I have been all summer, well since my 16th birthday when I first applied for my learner permit. If I practice what I have learned I will do just fine, it would be less than human not that some nerves. With all my boasts at school I am going face merciless razzing if I fail.

Let s talk. I always like hearing from you.

Jamie