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Parenting and Spanking

New York Boy

Posted by R.J. on 2018-07-15 16:44:30

Hi Jamie,

Leaving this week on family vacation so wanted to reply so you wouldn't be put off for about 2 weeks with us on the road.

Keep those dreams flowing. You and your generation are the future and we all count on you to make it an even better world. Just as you & classmates protest & take a stand now on firearms, so your dad needed to take a stand when you & Ollie were 14 and messing around unsupervised with that air rifle. Your safety and the safety of others is primary and if it took dad's belt at 14 to let you know that, then good for dad caring so much. As to student council, I suspect you have the commitment to do your best and you'll grow in responsibility with that position.

Corner time, sitting on a chair, or kneeling facing the wall are all similar. My mom used that too and yes, she was there to assure I stayed seated or standing in the corner while she got things done. From my perspective at that age, it was as good as getting my bottom spanked & like you, it assured my mischief was controlled. A few times, dad got home to find me in that corner or mom told him and that got my little rear-end spanked too. I think we could both look back and say we dreaded a spanking from our dad, be it his hand on a bare bottom across his lap or the hiking our briefs/boxers down and bending over to feel the impact of paddle or belt when older.

I have mixed feelings now on school paddling. It was common enough at school then that guys never questioned it as an option. By the time I was a dad, it had been now prohibited so I never was faced with option to consent or not. Think I would've had it been an option. Worked effectively with me and other guys, so maybe you and guys now in your generation would benefit too from an occasional whack on the seat of your school trousers/shorts for friskiness or naughtiness. So you really think you were a naughty-enough boy at times at school to deserve a school paddling? Hell, you say Ollie's dad took a paddle/belt to your bare behind when naughty, so a few whacks at school over your pants wouldn't seem like a big deal I would think. It took something more serious than mere mischief to get me & other boys paddled at school and yes, that first time in 8th got me thinking quickly how that paddle roasted my butt cheeks enough through Levis trying to sit and then anticipating dad tanning my already sore bottom when he got me home that evening & it would be bare rump.

Sounds like you & Ollie had that 'friendship talk' about marijuana. Good for you to care enough about him to do that. Hope it is a past experience for him, because the risk is too great to mix with the wrong crowd and pursue that habit. Were you serious to ask if he needed a belt reminder & would you have used a belt on his butt if he said YES? How did he react to that question? Would you say bare $%!@ Ollie, if he said yes?

By 13, I was experienced with being spanked and spanked bare by dad, so from that perspective it wasn't new for me at 13. What was new that day, was it was the VP and not dad walloping my bottom and getting it in front of my friend. Thank goodness, the school policy said over my jeans. I can only imagine how shocked/embarrassed I would be had the VP said 'pull your jeans down & bend over' rather than simply 'empty your pockets & bend over.' What do you think would've been good or you would've benefited from a spanking at school rather than note to dad that got you spanked?

What did you do to provoke dad recently to belt your hide? Did he realize you were 'commando' under those shorts and whip you across them or discover that fact when he told you to drop them down? Sounds as if even at 16, dad's "strong right arm" made an impression on your hide. Had you then been working up to that hide whipping & warned over a couple weeks?

I'll stay in touch & you do likewise. Have a good summer. Stay out of trouble. Enjoy that job. Get ready to be a HS junior. Until August then, take care.


Posted by Boy from New York on 2018-08-05 10:59:30

Hi Mr. Rick, sir

I hope you have had a wonderful vacation, visited some cool places, but perhaps you are now glad to be home. Wherever you have been I would think being on the road for two weeks would be tiring. Especially with the weather we have been having across the states.

Family holidays can be time of rest and recuperation and with give and take and tolerance and flexibility everyone should have a good time. But being on top of each other like that people can become irritable and it is can be quite a stressful. My dad and his (ex) best friend fell out on a sailing holiday.

It is only by hitching our dreams to the stars that we can hope to make a better future. If we allow ourselves to accept mediocrity, and be a little undemanding of ourselves things will continue much as they are. We want a better world and we will make a stand to make sure we get one. We thought it was important to protest about firearms and we are disappointed that the president hasdecided to give in to the gun lobby and allow more and more children to be murdered at school. You know my feelings and nobody has managed to convince me that more guns would lead to less gun crime. It is all about safety.

And so it was when my dad took a stand when Ollie and I were messing around unsupervised with our air rifle. I knew how to use the gun safely but somehow forgot the safety rules we have. And we had carefully not asked for permission because we knew what the answer would be. Dad needed to take a stand and we needed to learn a lesson. We were two young teenage boys who knew the rules and chose to break them. Of course we were whipped for something like that. We thought we were unlucky but thinking about it now I am lucky that Dad cared so much. In everything he does, that shines through.

I will be on the student council when school resumes in September. I promise to do my best and take on the responsibility that goes with that position. My counselor said I will grow up. My Dad says I need to.

Corner time, sitting on a chair, or kneeling facing the wall are all the same as to intent and result. Sometimes it was time out and I was sent to my room. Somehow that seemed harsher that a spanking until you found out you were getting that as well. Usually after 15-30 minutes of corner time by whatever name you were allowed back to join in and provided you had settled down that was the end of it.

School paddling? That is something outside my experience. I know it worked effectively with generations of other boys. I do not believe my generation is that difference. So maybe some of us would benefit from the occasional paddling at school. I do not know what I would have to do to get a school paddling but I was probably naughty enough or frisky enough to deserve at least one for something a little bit more serious than just mischief. I do not think it would be that big a deal. I am sure a belt session across my bare bottom from Ollie's Dad would be a lot worse than getting a paddle across my pants at school. As I have said before I never went to a school where it was allowed.

I felt qualified to talk to Ollie about marijuana, and to warn him against it. I could not stop him from experimenting but I think it is a one time dare experience that he will not repeat. He knew I was serious when I asked if he needed a belt reminder. And he would have expected me to use a belt on his butt. He told me he had been there done that and it was done and dusted. He was ready to move on. He knows I would spank him bare hide if it came to that. I have done that before.

I was not quite sure what you were asking in your next question

That belting from Dad is not that recent anymore and things are better between us. As a result? I do not know. It was not a good idea to call my dad a liar when we were already rowing. He does not lie. I knew that and know that but I lost it. I said other things better left unsaid. In any case there were other things but it was that that tipped it. As dad said he could have done it weeks ago. He said he should have. Things are ok now that we have been working together. He probably knew I had nothing on under my shorts when he told me to drop them. I was heading for a bare bottom spanking and Dad would have had me take my underwear down had I been wearing any. That is right. Dad's right arm is still strong enough to make quite an impression on a 16 year-old butt. That messed up my bottom but it is history now.

I am busy selling burgers and ice cream on the beach. The pay is not great but it all helps. Kirsty is off doing what she does but I have met a nice girl called Juliette to sit with and talk to before or after work or in my meal break. It would it be cliché but not the less true to say her smile is as wide as the ocean. But Kirsty is still my number one and Juliette is just a friend who happens to be a girl.

I still have a month of summer to enjoy and I am so busy there is not much time to get into trouble. Besides which I am growing up and trying to act more like a younger adult than has an older boy. That brings expectations. I am looking forward to being a HS junior. I am ready for the privilege and responsibility of being on the student council. It is mostly seniors.

I hope you enjoy the rest of the weekend and enjoyed a restful at peaceful holiday with your family. We do not have family holidays like that anymore. We share through the year and holidays are a time to do our own thing.

I always enjoy reading your posts so please keep in touch

Best Wishes


Posted by R.J. on 2018-08-14 17:16:21

Hi Jamie,

Vacations are wonderful Jamie. Saw family and some friends too that we don't frequently see & that makes wherever you are a cool place...maybe not weather-wise, but you know what I mean. Retirement permits more travel time & at a more leisure pace...no conferences now to attend or business matters over pleasure time...but yes, it seems good to get back home.

You keep hitching those dreams to the stars. You & your generation are the future & we as a community and world depend on your generation. I understand about protest having grown up in the 60-70s era. Was too young & maybe too uninformed early on, but that era saw changes in racial issues, Vietnam Conflict, heartbreak of assassinations & the fads of hair length & clothing exploration. I'm sure we were a real challenge for our parents, school and communities. I admire your stance on firearms. It then surprises me some that you & Ollie would take the risks you did with the air rifle, but then you were boys of 14 you said & maybe 2 years have matured your thinking some. Had I been your dad or Ollie's dad and caught you messing with the rifle w/o supervision or permission, I'd likely would have whip tanned both of your young hides. Was that at 14 the last time you & Ollie got your hides busted together? Was dad considerate enough to take you to your room/garage etc. so it was private or did he bust your tails right where you were when caught messing with rifle? Truly, it was a dad act of care & love and a lesson needed to be learned.

As a kid, even 15-30 minutes in the corner or on a chair seemed an eternity. My mom used that discipline method effectively. When the time was up, the matter was closed just as it was after a spanking by dad. She saved my bottom many times from a dad spanking by just not telling him. A few times it was bad enough & she told him or as I got older it was time-out in my room to await dad getting home...those I knew, think mom knew too, I was in for a butt pounding and the wait was agony. Around 10-12 I got a few mouth-soapings & an $%!@ paddling from dad when he got home. Dad gave some second-chances when it was him & I, but mouth-off and sass mom or disobey or disrespect her and my hide became a patch of grass with dad the lawnmower.

If you & Ollie had attended school with us guys back then, likely you would've found yourself assuming the position straddling the desk to get the seat of your trousers swatted. Between 7th & HS senior year, I suspect every boy got it at least once. It was nothing compared to dad's belt on bare but believe me, 5-10 whacks even over Levis with skivvies beneath and your rear-end was hurting & especially if they targeted the lower butt & back of thigh where there was not even patch-pocket to pad your butt.

I'm glad to hear & proud of you that you took a confrontation stand with Ollie over the marijuana. That is what a friend needs to do with a good friend. I'm a little surprised though that the talk reached the point of did Ollie need the belt. I knew you guys did the game & b-day spanking ritual for fun sometimes & it might be shorts down but you sounded serious $%!@-whipping similar to what dad did with you. Was that your idea or Ollie suggest you do that to wise him up? Ollie might have stripped bare over a fun spanking but do you really think at 16 he would've submitted bare butt for the belt from you in real-mode? Would you really have done it to your best friend similar to how dad dealt with you? Glad to hear done & dusted...that's good news.

My dad & I restored good terms after my last hiding at 16 too. Like you said, I said things that would've been best unsaid. I deserved an $%!@ paddling at 16 & why I pushed the matter to the point dad tossed aside the paddle & took off his belt by saying I was too old to be paddled, I guess is just an example of 16 y/o ego and foolishness. His belt & my butt became well acquainted that evening & I deserved nothing less than what I got & both of us knew that. Sounds like you may have needed it too & maybe you had been working up to it if dad had to say it was something he should've done earlier. Were you surprised/shocked some when it got to that point that the belt came off & shorts came down at age 16?

With the warm weather trend & suspect NY has been no exception, the ice cream business on the beach should've been booming. Probably swimming, beach volleyball or even just stretched out suntanning or other fun outdoor activities could make one hungry for a burger or something similar even before the ice cream. Good that a boy at 16 have a summer job. Pay is one thing; experience is another. Nothing wrong at 16 to explore other girls...natural & part of a boy's hormones. The trick is controlling those hormones & it sounds like you've matured to master that--set gf priorities. You'll likely be ready next month for junior year to begin & that wonderful opportunity challenge you've been given with the student council.

The remainder of my summer looks good with volunteer activities & I've learned to say "NO" so I don't over extend myself. Just being home...wife & I...doing what we can & want is a vacation/holiday in itself. You enjoy too these next summer break weeks before school. Got any short-trips to look forward too before school starts? Is mom planning a back-to-school shopping trip or sending you out to shop for yourself for new clothes needs...that seemed an August routine back then for me since it seemed I needed underwear, jeans, shoes, etc to begin school anew. Though I wasn't a sports participant big-time in HS it seemed an annual doctor's checkup was required before school & if my shot-record was missing anything, it was roll up a sleeves or lower my britches for a 'stick.' I enjoy your messages too Jamie. You're a bright sounding young lad and you give me the younger generation perspective I think we older adults still need & benefit from, so stay in touch when you can.


Posted by Boy from New York on 2018-08-25 16:49:10

Hi Mr. Rick

Vacations are wonderful and when you are with the right people any place is a cool place and a good place to be. When all you care about is right there it is a good place to be. And when you travel you can take the time to enjoy the journey rather than always be chasing deadlines and attending tedious conferences and meetings. I know it is good to get home, rest and recover from your holiday and sleep in your own bed.

I think it is important to keep striving to be the best you can be and to do the best you can do. I do not think there is anything wrong with dreaming so long as you do not stop there. But once you have had a dream you have to work out how to make the impossible possible. There are all kinds of horrible and dangerous things happening out there. Right now it is my dad's generation who are making those decisions which affect us all. One day it will be my generation trying to make the world a better place for all of us. Reach for the stars. It seems to be good place to start,

If I had stopped to think for a moment I would have remembered that you grew up in the turmoil of protest in the 1960s and 1970s. Of course I am too young to remember it, but I know a bit about the civil rights unrest and the struggle for racial equality, the Vietnam War, and the anti-war movement the assassination of Martin Luther King and Watergate. But there are still important issues to be resolved and if presidents and governments will not listen you have to do what you can to make sure they hear. And if no one else will do it, and even if they will I feel an obligation to march and protest to make sure they hear that message loud and clear. New generations may feel a need to reinvent the wheel, but the wheels we have right now are going nowhere. My dad said you are an idealist son, and one day you realize at the world is why it is. I told him it does not have to be that way.

You and I have talked before about the way everything changes and need to change. Accepting that our ideas may be different and just as valid and will one day be the way we go must be a real challenge for parents, school and communities.

I have very strong feelings about guns and gun crime, and being able to feel safe at school. Now Ollie and I should not have been using the air rifle but we were not going to kill anyone or anything. We were only 14 and I do not think we would do anything like that now. Partly it is growing up and it is partly realizing the rules our rules are there for a reason, and partly remembering the pain when dad messed up our bottoms. I think any dad would have whip tanned us for that.

That was not the very last time Ollie and I were whipped together, but it did not happen much after that. You know, we still got whipped sometimes for the same thing but not usually together. More and more my dad would deal with me and his dad would deal with him. That said if Ollie s dad thought I needed that kind of punishment he would still give it to me just has he always has. And you know what? I would take it from him.

Dad took us out to the garage but it was not exactly private because we were both there. It was a lesson that needed to be learnt and we learned it the hard way. But you know what? Dad only did it because he cared.

And now, I am 16 something needs to be done about guns and as this generation has done nothing about it and will not, I am sure mine will. I will help make sure that happens. For you. For me. For all of us. As a Junior now is time to be counted and l know lower classmen will look to me.

15-30 minutes in the corner or on a chair seemed an eternity. If you were lucky that was that.

Yes, sometimes you can get away with stuff with your dad. But if he heard you disrespecting mum of being rude there was no mercy and no leeway. I found that out the painful way when I was quite young.

If Ollie and had attended school with you guys back then, I am sure we would have found ourselves assuming the position to get the seat of our pants swatted. I would think we were naughty enough. If you think that between 7th grade and senior Year at high school every boy was swatted at least once I cannot I think that Ollie and I would be any different. But I am glad that never happened.

I am sure that when the vice principal swatted you it hurt even through your jeans and underwear. I do not have any experience of that but I know all too well how much a dads belt can hurt on a bare bottom. It must have been difficult taking that on and already smarting and freshly paddled bottom. Bet you cried lots. Why not? There is no one to see, and it might make you feel better. Some say it helps to wash away the pain and the feeling of guilt. I do not know, except I tried not to cry.

I thought talking to Ollie about marijuana was the least I could do for him. You know I have some experience and I did not want him to go down the road I took. He is my best friend and we have always looked out for each other. All I did was to ask him if he needed to feel the belt to reinforce the lesson. He said no. That is as far as that conversation went.

Ollie would have stripped bare and submitted bare butt for the belt if I had told him to. He trusts me enough to know I would only ever do that to him if he thought he needed it. That is something I could only do because we are such close friends. Almost like brothers.

I do not think we will need to go there again. A lot of boys experiment with marijuana. But we have been there, done that and put it behind us. Forever.

I do not know how a dad finds a way, finds words to comfort a son they have just punished. My dad talks to us to help us get over the paddling or whatever and build us up again so we can feel good about ourselves again. Usually you knew you were well guilty and you well deserved what dad has just given you. You know it and Dad knows it.

So maybe I had been working up to it with last chances and final warnings. And maybe if he had done it earlier some other pranks and other little things would not have happened. But it got to the point when dad said that is enough James. Get up to your room. I realized then I had overstepped the mark and my bottom was going to pay. I was surprised for sure, but I was all too aware about what was going to happen next. It did not matter that I was 16. Dad was still going to make me take even my shorts down and lay leather across my bare boy skin.

Weather has been very unpredictable in New York this summer. Sometimes ice creams fly out of the freezer and sometimes the only people on the beach are the Life Guards and us. On the busy days we can hardly keep up with demand for burgers and hotdogs. Dad says it has been good for me having a job like this. He thinks I have grown up a lot even if there were some hard times with my boss. In the end the one I did not like said thank you for working so hard. It was a good job I had done and he would be glad to have me back one day. Perhaps next summer. My ambitions are greater than that. Remember my soul is hitched to the stars. So the experience has been one thing, but hearing the jingle of coins in my pocket and the bulge in my billfold has meant even more.

I am not looking for another girlfriend. Kirstie and I are very close and we have been going steady for some time. That does not mean I cannot have other friends who just happen to be girls. All boys have hormones and a part of growing up is learning to control them. I will always be attracted by cute girls and there is nothing wrong with that so long as I get my priorities right and keep my focus only on Kirstie. Juliette asked me I had a girlfriend and what her name was.

I hope I am ready when school opens up again next month. It will be exciting to be a junior but it will be quite a responsibility to have all those younger kids looking to me for an example, and being on the student council. I think more will be expected of me but I am looking forward to the challenge.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your summer and can settle down again with your volunteering activities. Sometimes things like that get overlooked when people are on vacation. It is very important that you learn to say no. Some things are probably not right for you and it is good to concentrate on those you feel good about. You cannot do everything. Even if you wanted to.

I guess being at home doing what you want when you want and if you what is a bit like being on vacation. Do you have grandparent responsibilities? Our grandparents like having us to stay but they always say how tiring it is.

We will have our usual end of holiday treats- dad's BBQ, boys backyard camp and things like that.

If this is like any other August mom will be planning a back to school shopping trip. I would rather go on my own but I do not have a credit card. Yes underwear shirts school pants and shoes.

I have just had my annual doctors checkup. I went on my own but I did not like the way I had to take off my clothes and by the end I was completely naked in the doctor's room. Yes they took the usual samples, gave me shots in my arm and told me to use a condom when I have sex with my girlfriend. (I will not be doing that any time soon.)

Thank you for your kind compliment, sir. I am glad that you enjoy reading my messages and that you find it useful to see things from a younger man's perspective. I think my generation still as things to learn from yours. I love to read to your posts so please write when you can


Posted by R.J. on 2018-09-02 13:35:02

Hi Jamie,

It is great hearing from you and you always seem to impart thought out words of wisdom for a young man of 16 and that I admire. It is no wonder to me as to why your classmates/school felt you should be on the student council. You have a quality that shines through. Maybe there is still some boyhood lingering around the edges that spells mischief, but overall I think maturity is blooming well within you. I use to see that coming forth in some young clients I had & knew I was then making a difference. When you see 'rough edges' begin to smooth out it is so rewarding and yes, I recognize it is your generation that we must depend upon for our future.

Vacation time was wonderful, but it is good to get home. Now the beginning of September & tomorrow Labor Day, I imagine you, Ollie and others of your generation are looking forward to the challenges of a new school year. Maybe a grumble or two initially & hard to get your tail out of bed earlier in the morning than summer, but a wide world out there to challenge & improve. My best wishes go with you.

You read now in history books & see videos of the turmoil of the 60-70's era Jamie, but yes, I lived through them. My generation too wanted to make changes for a better world & life. We did some I think & screwed up in other ways. Don't ever get discouraged since change sometimes takes time to notice. Just do your best always.

What you & Ollie did at 14 with the air rifle was wrong mainly because you were old enough to know the rules & know better than to deliberately challenge, but boys of 14 often do just that because a challenge can have a thrill factor. I'm sure you both were doing it with safety precautions in mind, but your dad still had to reinforce the need for rules and impart a lesson. At 14 when ears don't seem to absorb, a parent is forced to attack the problem from the rear-end. My dad never marched me to the garage to get my butt whipped but apparently being caught outdoors with the rifle, made the garage close & convenient site. Better there probably with Ollie as the sole witness to a butt whipping than had both of you more public outdoor in the yard getting it. I'm sure there were times my dad would've felt like paddling one of my friends too or telling a friend's parent to put Rick over the chair/table too for a pants down lickin' I deserved, but refrained & simply sent the friend home to face his fate & then busted my seat in the privacy of my room. I think in a way it hurt my ego as much at 13 having my friend in the office watching me get the school paddling as the physical pain hurt from each whack of that paddle on the seat of my jeans. I didn't want to cry or react in front of my friend nor he in front of me, but that paddle did hurt by bottom & he made sure 1-2 swats landed below the patch pockets so less denim & more butt flesh & leg took the sting. At home I sure did cry & probably you & Ollie did likewise at times. The tears did wipe away some guilt & just my dad's understanding afterwards giving me a clean slate & matter forgotten made the remainder guilt leave. If you & Ollie were old pros at taking it in boy briefs or bare butt from one of your dads, you would've handled it well at school getting paddled over trousers/jeans.

We've all pushed too far as teens & challenged a parent to the point that there is no other alternative than to drive home a needed lesson & in my day that lesson often was delivered on a boy's rear-end. I too was shocked at 16 to realize my dad was actually going to bust my bare butt even though I knew what I had said & deserved it. Wasn't easy for me, probably not easy for you, to undo & pull down my jeans & shorts to take it bare $%!@ at 16. I think dad knew I needed to feel it too so he didn't go easy on me but if I were in his position with a 'mouthy' & disrespectful son at 16, I would whip $%!@ too until I saw his butt had learned the lesson & his tears were genuine pain.

Weather was unusual I think from all I heard across the country this summer. We both apparently survived OK though. Sounds like it was a good summer for you & that is great. Now back to school & time with Kirstie & the balancing act to keep both in their proper time perspective. I think you'll do well Jamie. I didn't try to do everything. I know my limits and set my pace volunteering. Back to school shopping isn't always what a guy prefers to do, but in a way a necessity especially if sizes change or a new style is desired. Shopping on your own at 16 would be great. My folks gave me pretty good liberty to chose within a price range & then they settled with the cashier/clerk.

I'll stay in touch & you do likewise. However, keep your priorities straight so that school work, Kristie & student council come first. Cooperate with your parents & know though somethings their "NO" sound restrictive, it is based on their best interest for you & your future. Stay open with your dad as your best mentor at 16 in preparing to become a man & for heaven sake, give him a break at 16 so he doesn't have to take a belt to butt again. If nothing else your butt will thank you & you sure don't want to sit in a student council meeting or on a date with Kristie and require a thick cushion on your chair for comfort.

Have a great week & start a good school year...