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Parenting and Spanking

New York Boy

Posted by Boy from New York on 2018-04-17 12:39:48

Forwarded from Discussion Forum : Hi Rick

It is always good to hear from you. Thank you for your message

I think every generation has problems to solve left behind by the previous generation. We may have a response but we trust you to have done your best. There may be solutions or new solutions but there may be problems that cannot be solved. Like many high schoolers I have strong views on gun control and I find it scary that anyone thinks things are so serious that teachers should carry firearms. Where we live schools are very effective at keeping out unwanted visitors and the metal detectors we walk through mean no one is carrying a knife or gun. But there are many places apart from school where people get killed. My argument is that if there are fewer guns around fewer people will get killed. I cannot believe that anyone needs a Kalashnikov AK-47 assault rifle at home. Or two? Or three...? At my school we do all those things you talked about, but all of them were kid stuff. Yes a younger generation introducing new ideas. Maybe it is new ideas, ideas which were once new ideas that have led us to today. Things do not just happen. Just as actions have consequences so do ideas and policies. . Jerry did not want to be punished and had the sense to know when to back off. Very often a quick sorry sir can defuse a situation. Teachers like to be called sir. It has worked for me. Somehow with friends you do things you would never do on your own. Tombola would not have set off the fire alarm. Jenas would not have stuck cling film over the toilets and Ollie would not have hoisted a pirate flag or- me? I'm good!!! We are experts at saying or doing foolish things when we get excited with our mates buddies or friends. That can easily lead to Yikes even if not uuch!! I have had those marching orders to the hall even though I know I would not be paddled or anything like that. If that does not get the required results a trip to the Deans office certainly does. And more likely than not you will have a big boy punishment waiting for you at home. Normally that means plenty of ouch!

It is hard for me to acknowledge that what my dad did to me was the right thing for me over the marijuana issue. But deep down I know it was. I wonder how a dad knows what is best for a wayward teenage son. I guess you rely on your experience, make a decision and hope it is the right one. I am sure I give my dad plenty of tough decisions. One day it will probably be me having to face them. I know that kids who do not have a dad lose out. Stern talks, groundings and old fashion butt whipping has been better for me than YC or prison. Discipline is still a live issue and those who think children do not sometimes need punishment are wrong. As you yourself say there is not a boy growing up anywhere who would not benefit from a little more discipline on his backside. I suppose that includes good boys like me! No boy is that good, good all the time. I would be ashamed to tell you some of the things I have done. Like in every generation there will be a desire to again modify/improve some but I think there will still be a time and a place for old time-tested discipline.

Yes Mr. Rick I was taught proper respect and values and I am surprised and ashamed of what I know I said. Sometimes it is the smartest thing just to say sorry Dad and face up to what you know you deserve. But naughty boys do not always make the smartest choices. Ego arrogance or attitude always cut in. Yes, you getting too big for your boy britches and me getting too big for mine! Maybe that is why he made me take them down. He was still my dad and my authority figure. So when he told me drop my shorts and go over the back of the chair there was not a lot else I could do other than grit my teeth and try not to cry. Not to cry too hard.

Dad did not often strip me naked to spank me but my butt was nearly always bare. He and Mom must have agreed it was the best way. Ollies dad did it that way too, even when he was spanking me. It made no difference if I was a kid over his knee or now at 16 with my jeans and underwear pulled down to my knees or draped around my ankles. Yes coming out of bath tub or shower, in hot weather with no shirt on but he only ever spanked me on my bottom. I always told Ollie everything. I showed him everything too. He knew what it was like and would sympathize and do what he could to help me get over it. I sometimes told other close friends, people like Stevie and even volunteered (was volunteered) to drop my boxers for them to see red marks. In the boys locker room at school we sometimes see those red marks on aboys bottom, but the evidence shows that not that many boys are still spanked, not even at home. Are they the lucky ones? We might joke a bit like we would if a boy got an erection, but it was not a big deal. Ollie was full of good advice. You shouldna have done that Jamie, shouldna said that. Guess you earned that Jamie. My dad woulda done the same. Then he did something more practical to help me feel better about myself.

Well learning to drive is one thing but I cannot imagine having a car of my own for years, probably not until after I finish college. I could save up for a car but I could never afford the under 25 insurance premium. So I guess it will be bus bike or walking. Actually I took Kirsty to the party in a taxi, and it is kind of fun walking her home. We do not hurry. I hope I will be allowed to use mom's car when necessary, but I am sure there will be some restrictions. So still plenty of time waiting at the bus stop. Dad would like me to save for college. He will pay for most of it but things I should also contribute something. But for sure I will keep a little stashed away as pocket money for this summer when there will be time to treat Kirsty to some very special evenings and events.

We do the birthday spanking ritual in briefs/boxers or less. There are times, games where you want to spank a loser as much as he wants you to spank him and to spank you. That table tennis paddle may have another purpose but it delivers a good sting to a boy's bottom. I will make sure that on his birthday Ollie will not be disappointed. That is what friends are for.

Easter was a while ago I had more babysitting duties over the holiday. My cousins are a little less wild but have no respect for my authority. They think that because I am only a few years older than are they can fill big boy britches as well as I can. Once or twice I have had to put them straight on that and a time out or some nose to the floor press ups resolves most discipline issues.

The early morning service on Easter Sunday is a beautiful experience and reminds you of the real reason we celebrate. Kids in particular have a great time with Easter eggs, egg hunts- yes, I was Easter bunny again this year- or egg rolling contests, but I want the religious overtone blended in too. That is important to me. Although I go to a school which is big on religion it is only in the last year that I have understood the impact and significance are the Resurrection. As a kid it was all about the chocolate and although we went to church and sang Easter hymns I was still thinking about chocolate. I think religion is something you come to a little later because chocolate has very little religious significance in a Christian Easter celebration. I agree that it is up to parents to bring faith education into the lives of their kids at home. I do not know if when faith and discipline are taught from a young age, and at appropriate level method, whether that can avoid many of the adolescent and teenage problems. I think trust patience and communication between parents and their children will solve most problems. Remember Mr. Rick some people have no religious faith. Not all the good guys are Christians!

I am not specially looking forward to spring semester exams but I am looking forward to the summer. I always do. I think working for one employer this year rather than trying to satisfy two like I did last year will work out a better. Me as a Junior! Wow!

That sure is a long note. I had better leave it there.

Jamie

Posted by Boy from New York on 2018-04-17 23:01:04

I left you another message on the should parents cane their children site

Jamie

Posted by R.J. on 2018-04-24 18:56:58

Jamie, it is good to hear from you too. My generation did it bests as I'm sure my dad's generation tried to do too. Left some problems for your dad and his buddies to solve and best that they did, you'll find some left for you too. Those gun assaults happen way more often than I ever would've imagined. As you say, not only happening on our school campuses but malls, work sites, even drive-through in neighborhoods. Something must be done and done quickly. Yes, there is no sense having such high power firearms, designed for military, to be kept in homes. Parents also need to teach respect for firearms and keep them out of reach of their kids w/o adult supervision.

Remember well how getting into trouble, be it school or community, always was easier with mates than alone. What one doesn't think up, another mate will. Foolish pranks are mainly that & often don't result in injury or damage. A verbal reprimand usually is sufficient. At school, and after class or march to hall talk straightened out matters. As embarrassing as that hall march was for some, think all agreed that was better than a trip to office. Unless the hall trip occurred too frequent, it spared you a note home that a trip to the office got you. Right Jamie!!...forgot you were that 'good boy' that would never do something at school that would've gotten you tail tanned in my school days.

No dad, worthy of that honored title, enjoys punishing. Sometimes the kid just pushes you to the end of your rope or does something, like your marijuana, that dad just knows is physically harmful or harmful for the boy's future and you hope it is the right decision that you choose for reprimand or dropping his britches to bust his butt. You survived that butt whipping apparently & from your words likely gained a valuable lesson. My dad was one of the most fair/just men I ever knew. Friends even said at times how great they thought my folks were & how much they enjoyed visits or those overnighters at my house. As a young lad, dad knew a few hand smacks on a bare bottom was enough; older it logically took the paddle or belt to deliver the lesson my butt needed and deserved. Gee!! at 12/13, as embarrassing as it would likely have been, I would've wanted my dad's hand bare a$$ and laying across his lap rather than tugging my jeans & skivvies down to get paddle or belt on my tender sit spot. Do you think the whipping over the marijuana issue was the worst butt tanning you ever got & likely will not forget or dad give you a few even as a young kid and with a hand on your bare rear OTK or stretched across his lap that were darn impressive too? The old fashion way worked wonders at times & maybe should be kept alive.

Two spanking sensations even after decades I doubt I'll ever forget was that feel of dad reaching underneath me to unsnap my kid britches or if elastic waist, his hand snatching the waistband as I laid across his lap pulling them & briefs down; when older to hear dad say "get'em down" & hear his belt drawn through his pant loops...that belt made a damn loud snapping sound coming off as I struggled to strip to the buff.

My folks helped a lot with college expenses, but you know Jamie those after school & summer jobs were valuable lessons too. A certain pride in investing in my own future. Taught work ethics too...to take more responsibility. I probably don't need to tell you what excess 'idle time' for a boy or group of boys say 15-17 could produce in trouble. Best to get your butt-in-gear and do something of value. A little pocket cash is also nice for those special dates and things you might want.

As previously said, we did the spanking games as teens and the birthday ritual was a part of friendship from around 11/12 through HS years. Recall guys in the college dorm who delighted in the idea of fraternity hazing swats even though policy prohibited all hazing. As boys I think every house had a spanking paddle hung or tucked away somewhere so easy access for games & birthday. I would guess that table tennis paddle would sting. Your dad ever use that on your bottom for real? Ollie's dad use one with you guys that might have given Ollie that ideal? Ever experience a paddling with one drilled with holes & its sting-impact? I'm sure you'll do right for Ollie.

I think your thoughts on Easter are admirable and what you say sounds maturing on your part. It is a slow learning process as to what Easter really is and some young people at your age give it up because they felt forced to faith by parents growing up. Just as with discipline or any learning at home, it has to be age appropriate & made to feel comfortable as taught...some beautiful; something you want. The parenting role is a learning process too. No book makes you a good parent. All trial & error and to know your kids through examples & their needs in open communication. I've known good people who were not Christian; I've known Christians who were not good people.

Hope those exams go well and your summer is one of the best ever. Stay in touch when you can & want. Will be interested how it feels to be a JUNIOR now once the current year ends & you go back in autumn. Yes, a long message but I enjoyed your thoughts in reading it. I had overlooked the other message board but will now check it too and reply soon.

Rick

Posted by Boy from New York on 2018-05-08 17:29:16

mie and rick

H i Rick

Every generation has to face new challenges and face challenges left by previous generations. You do your best but sometimes your best is not enough and you have to do what is needed. Hope to leave the world a better place and make sure your life made a difference. I have never worried that when I am grown up everything will have been invented or discovered and there will not be challenges big enough for me. The thing I am trying to do is make sure I will be big enough for them.

Gun crime seems to be on the increase and I cannot understand why so many Americans have a love affair with the gun. I think the Second Amendment is open to interpretation and could be revisited but with the president who is apparently in the pocket of the gun lobby that will not happen. My position is that if there were fewer guns there would be fewer gun crimes. I know that in other countries the background checks are much more rigorous, and firearms have to be registered and kept secure. We have an air rifle for target practice. Dad taught us respect that, be safe and stay safe. Growing up we were never allowed to use it without adult supervision. Now I am 16 I can use it on my own but I am still not old enough to be allowed to supervise my young cousins using it.

It is funny how quickly a gang of boys can find some mischief, exciting things that you would never do on your own. Yes getting into trouble was always easier with a group of you. Somebody always had a good idea, that it was not always that good an idea. We did not usually do anything that bad- usually foolish pranks and unwise stunts. Sometimes a verbal reprimand but sometimes they led to some kind of punishment. At school reprimands were done in class. Stand up James. If it was any more serious than that you would be told to stay behind after class. A group prank would more likely mean a trip to the Deans office. Good boy? Are you talking about me? I might have had a bit of a good boy reputation and people might think that nice Jamie would not do that, but quite often I had. I am quite sure that had I been at school with you I would have been paddled. Heck, if even you, good boy Rick was paddled, what chance would I have had?

No Dad enjoys punishing his kids but no Dad worth his name will let his kids grow wild. He would far rather be tossing a baseball or helping build a treehouse but sometimes the kid pushes you too far and you have to do something. Like the time I got mixed up with marijuana. Dad knew without too much thought that whatever he said I still needed to be punished over the bed with my pants down. The belt did the rest. But no, I do not think my dad enjoyed having to give me that level of correction. But he did because, because he is my dad. I do not think anybody else would do that to me, for me. I survived that whipping and even when my friends offered weed around I stayed firm so it looks as though I did learn a valuable lesson.

I was intrigued with what you said about your dad. Every teenager has moans about his dad. But my friends always say what a great dad mine is, how lucky I am and how much they like him. Funny thing is I think the same about their dads, most of them.

It was always difficult unbuckling my belt, unsnapping my jeans and pulling them and my skivvies down to my knees. If I was wearing a long shirt dad would pull the tail up leaving my bottom unprotected. It was scary undressing like that knowing why you are doing it and what is going to happen. I think the whipping I got over the marijuana incident was the worst spanking I ever got. I do not think I will ever forget it. That said I had other impressive spankings too- over his knee or lap with a hand, brush or paddle straight to my bare bottom. I know I screamed with some of those. The old-fashioned way sometimes worked wonders with me so maybe that option should be kept alive. I think maybe boys respond better to that kind of punishment. I know you think there is not a boy alive who would not benefit from a good butt spanking. Do you think that will ever make a comeback?

It sounds to me as though your dad was a believer in bare bottom spanking, that the seat of your pants or underwear had not been naughty and did not need to be spanked. As a kid I thought bare bottom spanking had two purposes. One was to make the spanking hurt more, and the other was to make sure I got enough. Now I realize that the real reason was to make sure I did not get too much. Like you I can remember that transition from dad reaching underneath me to unsnap my kid britches his hand snatching the waistband as I laid across his lap and pulling them and my briefs down, to a stage where he expected to take them down myself while he while he pulled his leather belt through the loops on his pants. It was scary hearing that fumbling with my buttons as I stripped down. I can remember how scared I felt even today. My dad was the main spanker at home but mom spanked us too. I remember complaining to her when she made me take down my jeans and briefs again. She said a spanking which is not on your bare bottom does not really count. Then she told me to bend over the kitchen table.

Dad thinks I will value an education more if I have helped to pay for it. My parents are generous and make sure I have what I need but they think this is something I could and should contribute towards.

I suppose we have all played spanking games as teens and strip games too. When it all started nobody was shy and we thought it was exciting and a little bit naughty. By the time we might have been shy we were so used to seeing each other naked and doing stuff that we just carried on. The nudity and the birthday rituals were just a part of our friendship from around- I think I was 9 or 10 the time Stephen Lawrence and I took down how our shorts and briefs in front of each other and that was the first time, although as little kid Alan and I were sometimes naked like when his mom put us in the bath tub together. I do not think I would much enjoy the experience of being spanked with a fraternity paddle. I know it has been outlawed but I wonder if some hazing still takes place in college dorms. Aaron told us there was what he called an initiation when he started boarding school and I would think that was pretty similar. Not so many homes have a spanking paddle tucked away these days but there are plenty of alternatives for spanking games, birthdays and anniversaries. Ollies dad often used a table tennis paddle on us. Dad has still got the paddle he made for me. He never used it on Kevin but Ollie could tell you how much it hurts on bare skin. It is drilled with holes and really stings and marks your bottom. You can be sure I will do right by Ollie. It is way for us to show and share our friendship and affirm that close bonding between us. He trusts me to do the best to him and not hurt him. Once one of us is naked he is helpless and has to trust the other one which we do. Did you ever have a friend like that? I do not think your brother Jesus would do that for you.

I hope I am maturing some. I think about the difference god could make my life. And the difference he does make. One day I will have to make-up my mind and decide which way I want to go. Until then... Who knows? Easter hit me so hard that is knocked out everything I thought before. I think I felt I was being forced to faith. I still think that, not by my parents. Did you ever have a doubt? Did you ever think you had a choice? Yes, something beautiful, something you want so bad, something you think is for other people but not for you. How wrong can you be?

Thank you for the good wishes for my exams even though they are still a few weeks away. I am really looking forward to the summer even though New York summers are pretty unpleasant. I am really looking forward to being a Junior.

Learning to drive is an expensive business but I am getting plenty of practice acting as driver for Mom. In New York State a 16 year olds cannot take his road test until he has been driving for at least six months. So it will be a little time before I get that sought after license. Robbie Lomax is the only one of my friends to have one.

Things are looking up with Kirsty. We are getting to know each other VERY well and becoming VERY good friends. I was really aroused when I felt her hands inside my clothes and even more aroused I put my hands inside hers. But that is as far as it went, at least until I got home and could lie back on my bed. Wow what a mess. Just what you would expect from a horny teenage boy. You know you have done it too.

It is always good to talk with you so please keep in touch.

All the best

Jamie

Posted by R.J. on 2018-05-16 17:04:43

Hey Jamie,

Every generation, I assume, tries to do its best and leave a better world for their kids and grandkids. The way our world is unfolding now, there will be plenty for you and Ollie and your generation to deal with. Listening to your thoughts, tells me you will be big enough, man enough and mature enough to handle that task.

I agree with your thoughts on guns. I'm not opposed to gun ownership but feel we need registration and no one needs high-power firearms designed for the military to enjoy hunting or target skills. I too had a pellet gun when younger and dad taught me to respect and use safely. Got reprimand once I recall for merely taking it out to show a friend. Learned a lesson from those words and the promise he'd skin my rear-end if I repeated that stunt. Did that air rifle ever get you into trouble?

I'm sure you were and likely still are a good boy Jamie. I was overall well behaved too and compared to some in neighborhood & school and their pranks, I likely stood out to have that good boy reputation. As an only, there was no siblings to get into trouble with but when with friends, ideas always seemed to pop into one head and get 2-3 or more of us into trouble. Amazing how many times we escaped being caught. The times we were, we paid a price!! It probably was often, but was that embarrassing if called in class to stand & be reprimanded or told to remain after class? To this day, I remember the facial looks around the classroom when someone was called out for something they did and told to head to the hall. If you had been in school back in my days, do you think you would've handled a paddling from a teacher/principal with similar reaction to when your dad or Ollie's dad spanked/paddled you?

I would suspect Jamie, it hurt mom/dad as much just discovering that stash of marijuana as it hurt dad to whip your hide. Probably when confronted with the fact the stash was found, you realized you were in BIG trouble. Did you try to beg or explain your way out of the whipping or realize it was best to just man-up and pull down your britches & take the whipping you had coming? I have discovered over my years that guys sometimes think of a friend's dad in high terms too...the grass on the other side is greener concept. I was however always beaming with pride when a friend said a nice word about my mom or dad or how they enjoyed time at our house. I remember you saying how close you were with Ollie & time at his house often. Bet that was a big factor in accepting punishment from his dad, like a second dad & second home, even when he told you to strip your rear bare. That style of old fashion discipline will only make a come back, to answer you question, if you and your generation when you become a parent believe in it. Would you be willing to be dad/man enough to put your young tyke over your lap or knee & spank his/her bottom? Would you recall the flash back to when your dad took the paddle/belt to your bare hide when you needed it and do that to your adolescent/teenage son? If you ultimately lived away from NY and in a school district that opted CP, would you consent, like our parents consented, to your son being paddle spanked, not bruised or beaten, on the seat of his trousers/jeans if he did something moderate/seriously wrong? Your generation sets the future!!

I never remember mom spanking, other than maybe a quick swat. Knew she saved my butt several times by not telling dad. I knew however if she grounded me to my room to await dad or told dad, it was better than 50/50 that dad would tan my bottom & she wouldn't object. There was nothing to match those two school paddlings & a few hours later get it from dad too. Your mom ever give one of those kitchen table spankings & dad give you another soon after? You've said dad used the brush, paddle, belt on you, was mom's spankings bent over the table with her hand or use something?

As I previously said, I had no siblings, so yes there were good friends like you have described you & Ollie and we did the same dares, bets, games and b-day spankings & it was an expected hoot when you whacked your best buddy or he whacked you. I didn't get fraternity initiation paddled but knew guys in the dorm who did. By 18+ & in college, most guys were wearing boxers but fraternity pledges in the dorm had the plain white briefs to don for the pledge master or big brother paddling sessions. I don't recall any guys objecting, even though the hazing was prohibited, maybe because we all by then had the 'butt experience' from home & school.

I don't think I ever felt forced in religion. Parents introduced church when I was still young and it just became part of my life. Every teen likely feels doubts at times, but that is teen transition from boy to man in many areas of life & not just in faith. At 16, you'll obviously see things different than you did at 6 or 10 or early teens. Just keep an open mind Jamie and let God work within you in His manner & way.

Final exams, practice driving and the ultimate road test and license, summer fun and I think you said a job on the beach, and time with Kirsty, are all things to look forward to. Hang in and do your best in everything. You too stay in touch...

Rick