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Parenting and Spanking

Dennis

Posted by Pineapple Rag on 2018-10-04 14:44:00

Hi Rick

Young or old your generation or mine I guess we will have to rely on each other. Josh may have learnt a thing or two from me but I have also learned from him. Just by us living in the same house that is bound to happen.

No boy is good all the time. But appropriate discipline at home in the growing up years will likely avoid bigger trouble later on. That is one thing you have got to thank your dad for.

If you had been a naughty boy there would probably be too many things to remember. I think it is likely that I would have been an early candidate for a school paddling had I been in school with you. I am not sure what I would have needed to do to get one. I think a good record can sometimes help you when you DO get into trouble. But sometimes even that will not save you. I think I would have reacted just the same as you and your friends did. There is not much need for punishment at my school, and my dad can deal with anything more than that.

Josie and I are going steady. A lot can happen between now and when I graduate college. Maybe I will meet someone there who could be, will be my life partner. Heck, who says I have not already met her? Right now I cannot see how anyone could eclipse Josie. But yes I will make sure that first time is special for both of us. It will be in the right place at the right time and with the right person. But please remember Mr. Rick that you cannot always resist temptation. Already I carry insurance in my billfold.

A wise Dad knows that his growing sons need to assert their independence and makes allowances for it. But as kids Josh and I both felt the belt. He is more likely to get it again than I am. That belt used to live on the back of my bedroom door! Josh is always spanked first. I have often waited in my room heard the spanking taking place next door, and then dads heavy footsteps crossing the room the door opening and closing and known that the leather belt still in his hands, its work not yet complete.

There is never much talk about faith or spirituality around our dinner table. And when I first wanted to Mom and Dad thought it was a phase. But now I have found a special place a secret space that I can share with God and know that he is there. It is important to me but I have never had the intimacy of a sibling relationship with Jesus. I went through a period of doubt that even Josie could not help me through. Now I am sure. A new adventure starts here.

I think Junior year is a good time to start thinking about college. What I do now will play a part of my college applications. And like you we will probably make some campus visits linking my likely academic achievement (can I get a scholarship) with what we can afford. I have had my first counselling session with a young freshman. He was upset because his grandma had just died. The counsellor asked me to talk to him, well mainly to listen to him. As a member of the student council that is one of our jobs. I did not know what to say but I thought back to how I felt when my grandma died. I told him if he needed to talk to somebody again he could always come to me. I felt really grown up and that I had made a difference. I glowed with pride.

Keep talking and take care.

Dennis

Posted by R.J. on 2018-10-10 16:32:28

Yes Dennis, I assume each generation relies on the previous one for their foundation to build upon and the older one relies on the younger to make it even better. I do enjoy hearing from you & your thoughts. I saw in my career the results of dysfunctional family life and it was tragic at times. Some of those young lads only needed the love & care of a strong male in their lives...think all boys around age 11+ need that. There was good single moms in some homes, but they couldn't control & guide a boy often at that age & often I felt the young guy was really good basically, but mislead.

What do you think would've made you a candidate for an early-on school paddling had you been in my school generation? Maybe you were fortunate that schools had done away with paddlings. Maybe you & Josh would've deserved swats a few times & would find it easier to have taken at school than come home to face your dad. I'm sure my overall good behavior did earn me some considerations at school over time. Maybe a verbal reprimand rather than a trip to the hall or office. What I ultimately got in 8th & again in HS was what I deserved...what every other boy got & no special leniency, & got my attention that maybe detention would not have gotten. Believe me, my dad dealt with me too when I got home effectively.

I admire your thoughts on the relationship with Josie. Time will reveal where it all goes. Going steady at 16 is natural; maintaining common sense & good judgment is important too. That billfold insurance can come in handy & always good to have even when not needed to use. Yes, there are temptations every guy/girl have!!

Guess that belt hanging on your door was a good reminder. My dad simply used the one around the waist of his trousers. Why do you think--maybe because you were the older--it hung on your door rather than Josh's door, since he apparently went first? Did you bros at a time younger, share a bedroom? Get paddle/belt busted together?

Faith matters can be both a challenge & an adventure at your stage of life. Some gain in faith like you claim; others lose faith in HS & college years. A special & quiet place to meditate is a great idea. My sibling relationship was just natural I guess for me. It was not something my parents drove home or insisted, but my creation as an only in need of a brother-figure and my lights-out quiet bedroom at night my special haven.

Your junior year is a prepping & important time. Wow Dennis!!, I'm really proud of how you handled that death counseling of the freshman. It might be a responsibility as a student council member, but you apparently stepped up to the plate in a mature fashion to handle it. A big compliment that the school counselor would ask you & how you are perceived in maturity/responsibility. I've been there as a counselor to have to give a death notice along side the chaplain or alone in the prison & know it isn't an easy task if you don't know the other person well. To offer yourself as a source for him to return to it needing to talk is what I see as an awesome move on your part. You should feel good & glow with pride.

You too take care & stay in touch when you want.

Rick

Posted by Pineapple Rag on 2018-10-19 12:11:09

Hello Mr. Rick

I think what we most needs is a secure home and a mom and dad who love you and are old enough to cope. Those of one generation can help those of another and it works both ways.

I do not know what I would have to have done to have got an in school paddling in your day at your school but I probably would have done it. At times that is surely what I have deserved even though I am beginning to calm down a bit now. I think your reputation and record have a big bearing on how you are punished if/when you mess up or break the rules. Even goody- goody kids like you were do that sometimes.

Josie is something more than just a good friend . One day that may develop into something permanent. And one day I will probably be glad of that rubber insurance in my billfold. Sometimes things happen without being planned. When you are horny as hell and stuck together like glue who knows what will happen? We will be careful. We will respect our boundaries. But going steady as 16 is a lot of fun, feels good, feels electric.

The first thing I saw each morning was that belt hanging on my door. I did not manage to stick to my resolve to be good that day for very long. I think keeping a belt to use on our bottoms was to do with psychology. The belt has always hung in my room. That was because Dad was likely in my room when he finished with us. Josh and I never shared a bedroom as a regular thing but sometimes when we had guests we had to bunk up together. Yes spankings were sometimes delivered to both of us in the same room at the same time

I think living your faith can be, should be a challenge and an adventure at any age. I agree that a special quiet place to meditate is a great idea. Your sibling relationship with Jesus seems to have worked well for you needing a brother figure to share your triumphs and disasters and to offer solace support and understanding. Is that how it was?

I know how important junior year is for prepping for the future. Now Mr Rick I do not want you to get the wrong idea. Jimmy was upset because his grandma died a few days earlier, the counselor knew I had had that experience earlier on and thought I would be the best one to listen to him and offer support. It is my responsibility as a student council member, but I was pleased I was able to step up to the plate and deal with it. Imagine how I felt that the school counselor would ask me to take on that responsibility. He must have a lot of confidence in me. I do not know how I would deal having to give a death notice. We talked for a long time, at least he did. I told him I knewd some of what he was feeling because the same happened to me. Before he left me he dried his tears and went away a much happier boy. I told him if he washed his face before class no one would know he had been crying. I thought the best I could do for Jimmy moving on was to offer myself as a resource for him to return to if he needs someone to talk about anything. He will because he knows me likes me and trusts me. I was proud myself and gave myself a pat on the back. Even if I was only doing my job I was elected to the school council for a reason.

I look forward to hearing from you. I always like reading your messages and hearing your comments. I do have just one question. You said your last spanking was the time you were heading for a paddling and told (taunted) your dad you too old for the paddle. He took you at your word and then unlooped his belt. Was that the first or only time you got the belt?

Goodbye for now

Dennis

Posted by R.J. on 2018-10-27 18:15:42

Hi Dennis,

I agree with your thoughts. A good home and good parents are so important. You were apparently blessed with such and I too have great memories of my parents & family.

It is interesting that you say you might have gotten into school trouble similar to boys of my school days. Boys apparently don't change that much over generations. I don't want to portray myself that much as a 'goody-goody boy' but maybe some classmates would have perceived me as that. I was taught as a young boy to behave even away from home & unsupervised by my parents. Probably that influenced me. Looking back, I'm grateful that school didn't show me preferential consideration. I messed up and my buddy & I got punished as any boy would've for the offense.

Of course going steady at 16 is fun and another fortunate note for you with Josie. Do enjoy it and know that is 100% natural feeling. That insurance in your billfold is good to have but as with all insurance, good to have but hope not needed or at least needed too often.

If your house provided separate bedrooms that is great for Josh and you. To bunk-up then was a special time for both of you. I suspect however as brothers you may have visited each other in one's room from time-to-time just to rap over brother things. Was it ever embarrassing when a friend visited to have them see a belt hanging there? That spiritual relationship did work that way as you described. Friends had brothers to talk things over with & I used my solo time similar.

I think you should be proud of the fact that you stepped forward and were able to help Jimmy in his moment of crisis. Proud too that your counselor ask you because I feel he may have high confidence in you and your maturity & level of responsibility. Believe me Dennis it is not easy to give a death notice and especially if not someone you know all that well...know the right words to say. Maybe here again, it was my dependence on my faith that played a big part & made it easier to find appropriate words. You must have won Jimmy's confidence too if he as a HS guy felt free to cry a bit in front of a peer. I remember well how I always offered a guy to sit with his back to my office window so if he teared up some, it minimized embarrassment. My dad taught me well that embarrassment as an intent was never a good approach. Sounds like you handled this really well...as a pro I would say. May I ask if Jimmy has returned to further talk with you?

No Dennis, that wasn't the first or only time I experienced dad's belt. Around 12/13 he began to feel I might need to feel leather on my hide. Certainly wasn't frequent as a teen but dad always looked out I felt for my overall welfare and even at 16, he knew my hide needed to be leather tanned & did what a good dad needed to do. It was my last but not first and I too knew it was justified. I suspect you & Josh might have realized too at times, though not pleasant or what you wanted at that moment, that the belt on your door needed to be used on one or both of your bare hides & maybe accepted your fate, as I did, knowing that was what you needed to 'shape up' and move forward. Has there been a whipping that you or Josh got that stood out from all others that you likely will never forget? Though school never was permitted to spank you, did mom/dad ever give a friend's parents or another relative supervising you the permission to bust your bottom and you got it on undershorts or bare for something wrong caught doing?

I too look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Rick

Posted by Pineapple Rag on 2018-11-06 14:15:59

Hi again

Good parents make a good home rock. For me, Josh, for all of us. That Mr. Rick is awesome.

I would think the things I get into trouble at our school are similar to the things you and your friends got into trouble for. Now I am a junior I do not get in too much trouble. In any case, being on the school council I am one of the ones who are expected to set an example. Maybe you were not such a goody goody boy but you knew how to behave. Like any of us I am sure you got up to mischief at times. Perhaps not much at school but school is not everything. You expect school to have a fair and consistent discipline policy so that if you mess up you pay the same price as anyone else. However I was happy to hear my middle school headmaster saying to me once well Dennis you are not usually a very naughty boy, and giving me a lesser punishment than I was expecting.

But if you are properly naughty your reputation or record will not stand in the way of you getting properly punished. There would be no excuse for scrapping in the schoolyard and we would have been in big trouble if we had been caught having that bust up fist fight before class. I told the teacher my black eye was caused by walking into a door but I do not think he believed me. (Are you sure Dennis? Yes sir,)

I am having lots of fun with Josie. What I really like is that we are treated as a couple. Invitations that used to come to Dennis and friend now come to Dennis and Josie. I may never need that insurance I keep in my billfold but if I do need it I have the reassurance of knowing it is there. Dad knows I carry it and thinks it might be a temptation to me. But I am sure I am not the only 16 year old who is not getting much sex. Well, any sex really and I know how to enjoy myself without that, and enjoy Josie too.

Josh and I are lucky enough to have our own bedrooms but when people come to stay we have to share which neither of us will admit to liking. But we do have a lot of silly fun when we two bunk up together just because we are brothers. There are times when we want some privacy in our rooms but the rest of the time we are in and out of each other s rooms all the time. We do more than talk of course and as young kids we sometimes played a strip game, a spank game or something like that because we thought it added spice sparkle and a little bit of naughtiness to the day.

We were not embarrassed for our friends to see the belt hanging there. Those that did not get the belt themselves at home thought it was funny but the rest thought as I did that seeing it first thing in the morning was a timely reminder of what could happen if I got into trouble. It is still there and I am happy so long as it stays hanging and is not taken down. Maybe Josh should have it in his room as he is more likely than me to get it but neither of us has had it for a while. Maybe dad should retire it. Our rooms are our space. My empire stretches from the door to the window and as far as I can see on each side (to the wall)

Too right I was proud of myself being able to help Jimmy. I am proud that the counselor chose me for that job and trusted me that level of responsibility. Think what it has done for my confidence. If I had been a freshmen or even a sophomore I think Jimmy would have been too embarrassed to cry. But he thinks of me as an older guy rather than one of his peers and he knows I will not judge him or think any less of him. The counselor lent us his office so there were just the two of us. Jimmy thinks of me as his friend and thinks it is cool having a junior as a friend. I like him too and I also like the way he has grown up since we had our first chat. He sometimes comes to me for advice but he is happier and more confident now and over his crisis. I am happy happy happy that I was able to help. But that is my job. It is why I am on the student council.

It is a good dad who will do what he has to do and even if you do not like everything you know that your welfare and your needs always come first and he will do is very best to keep you happy and safe. Sometimes that will involve discipline and tough love. Josh and I both know how that belt feels when applied across a bare bottom. However much we hated it we knew we deserved it and afterwards sometimes understood that it was what we had needed, and why,

Whipping is supposed to teach you a lesson. You do not have to remember the lesson to remember the learning. I can remember getting paddle and belt but I could not say that one whipping stands out ahead of all the others. I think Josh would say the same although he got it bad when it was discovered that he and Mahesh had been drinking vodka! I do not think he will forget that in a hurry.

I do not think mom or dad ever specifically gave a friend s parents permission to spank me. But when I went camping with Marcus and his dad his Dad cut two sappy switches and used those on us. Neither of us was wearing anything . I was too scared of what would happen if I reported this at home. He had me down to my shorts another time but my Dad arrived to pick me up and they agreed I would be punished at home. But Dad seemed cool about another Dad spanking me.

Always good to talk with you. I always look forward to hearing from you

Dennis