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Parenting and Spanking

Dennis

Posted by Pineapple Rag on 2018-07-11 11:03:08

Hi Rick

I will not be able to respond properly or reply for about three weeks. But I will reply. probably in early August.

In the meantime I am having a great summer. I hope everything is good for you.

Dennis

Posted by R.J. on 2018-07-13 15:31:41

Hi Dennis,

Understand. I'm packing currently for a family trip too and so it works well to plan for August. Look forward to hearing from you then.

Rick

Posted by Pineapple Rag on 2018-07-31 07:26:09

Hello again Mr Rick

I know it is a good idea to stay kool relaxed and clear headed and not just at school. My job as a lifeguard requires the same attitude and skills. I hope you have enjoyed your break. There is a difference between being busy at work and being busy doing what you enjoy. Some people think that it would be fun to be on permanent holiday and to sit around doing nothing. To me that would seem like a wasted opportunity. Free time is too valuable to waste. Idle time is when you get up to mischief. Not you I mean, but boys generally. It is what we do.

I am intrigued by your work in the church. Helping the priest at mass could mean anything from being an altar server to helping distribute bread and wine or leading prayers. I would think visiting the elderly or ill- the two do not always go together - who feel isolated or forgotten would be a valuable part of your churchs outreach to its community. It is important work that is sometimes overlooked.

School is a long way from my thoughts right now but obviously priorities will change once school starts back. I will be a junior which will be awesome. I have been helping the youth leader this year and he would like me to take a bigger role, he says I have potential but I think it is a ruse to get me involved in the church. He said that younger guys like me are the lifeblood of the future and god expects more from me as a young adult. He said it is a win-win situation in that I will gain from it and so all the young people in the youth group. I am considering whether I can devote more time to that.

I must admit I found it hard to follow the thread of your next paragraph. Maybe you are talking about the way we cope with the stresses and strains of everyday living, how we deal with stress, how we deal with emotional pressures in ourselves and those with whom we work. I can see that would be important in your career,

Boys by nature take risks. That is a given. You do not need to tell me that wrong actions are always wrong. I am not trying to make excuses. I was not in on stealing the apples but I could have been, looking for the same thrill of getting away with something risky. We take risks for fun but I can see that there are those who lose out. Those are the ones you meet.

Maybe counselling is a bit like dad talk but I would take that any day. Time out always seemed like a better option then getting my hide skinned. But any of us- Paul Ramon or I would rather take that than be locked up. Time-out is not always a great option.

Josh gets more belt sessions than I do but now he is 14 and acts a bit more grown up he does not get u much anymore either. We both know the belt is hanging in the closet in Josh's room but we hope it will stay in there.

Of course Josh learned to avoid a few things that he knew I was whipped for but he is an expert at finding new things that get him licked. He is learning that there are always two options. A good one and a less good one and both have consequences.

If I one day become a dad I hope I can measure up to be the man husband and Dad my dad raised me to be. Yes I have a good role model to follow- someone I trust who has been there done that and lived to tell the tale. I hope that being a dad is the best life experiences of my life, although I know at times it will seem like the hardest job in the world. There are always stresses and strains when you love someone enough. I suppose.

There is always someone acting up in an 8th grade classroom, when you arejust at the age when you feel too big for middle school (what used to be called Junior High) and a little bit rebellious and at age 13 you think you own the place. Sometimes you get away with a warning. Other times you have to face the music. I do not know if Charlie needed his adolescent backside paddled. His teacher thought he did or he would not have done it and done it in front of the class. as an example to them. Yes you have told me before about your first school paddling. I would not like to be paddle spanked at school. Dad punishes us at home for school mischief. But sometimes I have thought that a school paddling over school pants or jeans would have been easier to take than home one bare from dad. But that is not a choice I have ever been given and I am grateful I did not have to face the paddle at school. I am sure if I had been at your school I would have been one of the first visitors to the vice principal's office!

Josie and I are enjoying each other's company this summer at least when our schedules allow it, I am on the late shift today so I will not see Josie tonight . She has given up her job and is now working in the fashion glamor industry.

As I said to JB I am loving summer.

I will be waiting to hear from you so please get in touch when you can.

Bye for now

Dennis

Posted by R.J. on 2018-08-05 17:02:55

Hi Dennis,

Always a joy to hear your thoughts. A new/younger generation with new perception on life. Staying 'kool' is always kool and a good idea. Never perceived retirement as a time to sit around ideal. Would hate that. I still have too much to offer in life not to get involved and that I why I volunteer. Have done each of these services over the years at my church. Good for me, but more important, hopefully been good for others.

Yes, a junior now and that is awesome. Big responsibility goes with that too. You now have two classes below you that look up to you as a model...an example...just as I'm sure Josh looks up to you as his big brother, even if he doesn't say so. Maybe your church youth leader sees qualities in you that you haven't discovered yourself. Be open to that advice. It may not be just a ruse, but an invitation you need to hear.

Certainly, by nature boys have always taken risks. Seldom we thought we'd be caught & that is why the risk seemed worth taking. You may not perceive it in me now as an older adult, but I had my 'risk moments' when your age. Maybe your dad had his share too. We were boys once just like you & Josh. You might not have stolen apples as you say your buddies did, because you had that good parenting in your life and knew even apples, a small matter, stolen was wrong. Maybe you darn well knew your dad would skin your hide if you were caught. Can't recall if you said Paul & Ramon were caught, but if they were, maybe they needed their rear-ends busted as a wake-up call. Boys wouldn't get locked up over apples, but stealing apples now may be just the door opening to stealing bigger things later. Many of us as teens at your age dreaded the time-out/grounding situation. Though we sported a sore butt for a few hours, a good tanning on the butt was just what we needed & it put the matter behind us quicker.

You now 16 and Josh at 14 shouldn't require a belt session that often. You both are old enough to better know right vs wrong and be more responsible. That belt hanging in the closet might just still be an influence even if left hanging...as much of an influence in your memories of days in past when dad got that belt out or had one of you boys go fetch it for him and you or Josh or both got a whipping you deserved. A good dad is a boy's best role model. I suspect you & Josh will be great men and dads some day because your dad/mom raised you to be just that.

I likely had that attitude at 13. Why else would Rob & I had skipped & forged those notes. Around that age my dad frequently called my behavior an attitude. That first school paddling was a shock to my system but probably just what I needed. I got through it OK, despite my dad's bare butt whipping when I got home. I guess I had been curious what swats over jeans would be like. Were you or Josh ever paddled or belted over jeans to know what denim jeans padded/protected your bottom? I got my bottom whupped good at school & it was better there than bare $%!@ from dad, but still stung plenty. I'm glad in a way that most schools have outlawed the paddle, but maybe some boys in your generation would've benefitted from a few school swats. Just imagine what would've run through your mind had you been in my school generation and took a seat busting from the VP and then anticipate getting home with a note & dad hauling your jeans & shorts down for another belt lickin' on already sore butt!!

Great to hear you've had a good summer with time on a job you apparently like & that puts a few coins in your pocket or 'fattens' your billfold. At 16, good times with Josie as a gf is so important too...a practice/warm up experience for becoming that good man who know how to treat a lady & establish a more solid relationship to be a husband. You're not ready for the full role of man/husband yet likely, but like in school work or prepping for a driver's test/license, it take some learning & practice time to achieve success. That's life Dennis, so make the most of it. Stay in touch.

Rick

Posted by Pineapple Rag on 2018-08-16 10:09:44

Hi Mr. Rick

There are many challenges. Some have been there for many years but there are new ones every day. Somehow we have to face them down. A clear head a courageous heart and a can do attitude are always kool and will help us to come out on top. We need young people who will stand up to make a difference. People like me. Staying kool is always a good idea.

I think communities thrive on volunteers- people who are prepared to offer their talents skills and time for the benefit of others without asking for pay or reward. Whether it is in a church or a community center there are many roles for volunteers. As long as you are able it is good for you and your community to do what you can whether it is cooking the community lunch, reading prayers in church or clearing up after a July 4th parade. Most people find a niche that they can fill and it sounds to me as though you have landed on your feet. Good show.

It is exciting to think that I will soon be a junior. I see a goofy kid just about to start high school and I know that it is me on that first day. But it is a big responsibility to know that there are two classes below you who are looking to you for an example and maybe looking up to me as a role model. Especially to me because I am only two years older than they are and I am already on the student council. I know Josh looks up to me as his big brother, even though he does his level best not to show it.

Of course I have been working as a lifeguard all summer and that has been all about taking responsibility showing leadership and setting a good example. I think that will prove to have been good experience for me. I will have to remember that staff and students are looking at me.

Abel our youth worker and Brother Francis have both suggested I should take a more active role in leadership of the youth group, well me and Josie really. Maybe it is not a ruse to get us into church. I think we are both heading in that direction anyway. It could be an invitation I need to hear because I know I am at the stage my life where I need to make a decision, is Jesus MY Lord? Simple as that. You can read more about that on my post to JB if you are interested.

Yes of course we have all had those risk moments. You get away with most of them or you would not think the risk was worth taking. And you are seldom in much doubt as to what will happen if you are caught. You just prefer not to think about it. If it is fun you will do it. It is hard to imagine you or my dad being naughty and mischievous but I guess you were. Normal boys just like Josh and me.

I would not have stolen apples the way my buddies did but I was involved in plenty of other risk pranks. I knew that stealing was wrong and even if it was only apples stealing was more than a prank. That said I remember eating some of those apples. And I was s*** scared because I knew darn well that dad would whip my hide if I was caught. So it was partly good upbringing partly not being there and partly not liking the possible consequences.

If Paul and Ramon were not caught at that they were surely caught at something else. Maybe they needed their rear ends busted as a wakeup call. But maybe not. They did not see it as stealing, just as a game. They would be horrified to hear you suggest they might go on to stealing bigger things later on. They are boys like me, risk prone but underneath all that essentially good boys.

Neither of us is spanked very often any more. Bit Josh had a pants down paddling yesterday. When I went up he had taken his briefs off and was rubbing his bottom. I got a jar of cold cream and did the brotherly thing. Something only your brother can do for you. Dad and Mom have brought us up to know right from wrong and they expect us to take responsibility for our behavior. If we do not or will not do that Dad will intervene. That is what happened to Josh

That belt hanging in the closet is a constant reminder of days past when dad got that belt out or had one of us boys go fetch it for him. But it also serves as a reminder that we are not too old to feel leather. It could still happen any time.

I do not know why so many boys develop attitude and 13 I did not even know what attitude meant. Only that I had it and that anything more than breathing was attitude. I remember being sent to fetch the paddle on many occasions.

I am not quite clear what it is you are asking me Mr. Rick. We are not usually spanked over or jeans or pants but I could not say we never were. I am glad I never got my bottom whipped at school but it might have been better than the bare bottom ones I got from Dad. Who can say if some boys in my generation would have benefitted from a few school swats? Me?

I can scarcely imagine what would run through my mind had I been in your school generation and taken a seat busting from the VP knowing that when I handed over the note at home I would be looking forward to dad hauling my jeans and shorts down to add another licking to an already sore butt! I would not like it. I have only ever had two spankings in one day once.

I have enjoyed the experience and responsibility of being a lifeguard at the swimming pool this summer. I have had to swim a lot of laps and undergo ongoing training but that has been good too and will stand me in good stead for the future. Having money in my pocket is a bonus. Sometimes you see a swimmer who is struggling but with the right intervention you can avoid needing to employ your life saving skills.

At 16, good times with Josie are important to me. I do not want to hurt her or damage our relationship. It is funny to hear you refer to it as a practice or/warm up experience. Maybe it will help me to one day establish a more solid relationship as a husband. I am not nearly ready for the full role of man/husband yet. Let alone a Dad.

The clouds of school days are beginning to form on the horizon but so is my upcoming driver's test. I have been getting in all the practice I can and I think I am a pretty good driver. I hope they agree when I take the test in October

So I have a lot of things to look forward too at home at school and facing up to what God expects of me, from me.

I think everything successful takes effort and hard work. Luckily I am prepared to put in what it takes. That's life

Dennis