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Parenting and Spanking

TO RADLEY

Posted by R.J. on 2018-11-07 22:19:44

Radley, that is a good sign of parenting to be able to have fun with your kids while retaining their respect for you as the parent. You'll learn first-hand some day that a dad would rather have good times rather than the role of disciplinarian. I use to think my dad was joking when I was growing up & he would say "this hurts me more than you" and then spank me. He was right though, it hurts a dad inside to give that smack & hear your kid yelp & cry.

Our trip to Europe was compact, but we were young and in an organized tour so we saw what they thought was important and everything was new and we took it all in. It was a wonderful 2 weeks and we got a good taste of various countries & cultures. We don't have immediate plans to go back, but in retirement, that is a possibility.

Dad likely dealt with Chip that way in NYC because he wasn't any more eager to beat Chip's young bum than Chip wanted that butt beating. If wised up quick & adjusted his attitude then maybe he took that verbal serious & that was all dad basically wanted. As I previously said, it doesn't please a real to spank. My dad, like your dad, was more flexible if I argued with him, but sass mom or he find out I disrespected or disobeyed her, guaranteed my bottom a tanning. From your words, it appears at around 13 you had a sassy mouth sometimes and forced dad to drop your pants for a butt beating. At 13, was it a paddle or slipper dad used or by then you got the leather belt?

It probably was just a bad choice of words or misunderstanding between Chip & Laura & yes, it makes for better home life I'm sure that they are back together. At Chip's age, a boy is still feeling his way with girls. You might have broken a few hearts at his age too and had gf break-ups. All boys I guess go through that phase. You & Lucy are now older and wiser in dealing with your relationship.

In my school days, we knew it was no joke and our bottom would get paddled if we seriously misbehaved. What was worse was the fear our parents would find out & the school knew a call or note would get a boy's bare rear whacked when he got home. It was a dreaded experience to bend over for 2-3 pops on your trousers at school & then go home and dad paddle/whip your already tender bare bottom. That is something you & Chip won't experience. Very few states & school districts still allow the paddle. I'm not sure a lot of dads still take pants down & whip at home either. Did your uncle require you to be bare for the slipper or just whack your trousers? Did your dad ever talk to you or Chip about if he ever misbehaved at school & got his seat beaten for it? My dad a few times told of trips he or a brother took with grandpa to their basement and a strap hung there for a damn good whipping & always underpants down. At least I never got more than the belt dad wore & almost always in my room.

Now is a perfect time to learn those self-skills from mom & dad & be best prepared to move out for college dorm life or your own apartment. Boys need to know how to cook, do laundry and keep a room/place up unless you plan to starve, wear dirty clothes & smell or live in a make-shift pig pen. Down explode Radley or feel pent-up, it's just being 16 and those independent hormones are kicking in just like the other hormones hit you at 12/13 and you discovered delectable girls. Even in our college dorm we had room inspections & woo-be a boy & roommate who had an untidy room. They couldn't beat our college-age butt, however a peer 1-2 years older could chew you out & then refer you to the dorm director to see if he imposed any restrictions. If your mom/dad requires you & Chip to keep your room tidy, do some house chores, maintain a curfew then realize it's good training for when you move out on your own.

Your Halloween & the disco sounds like fun. Hope you & Lucy had a great time. I admire your words on that relationship with her. You both sound mature in your 16 y/o outlook on things. You got plenty time still before you need to be a husband or dad.

Enjoy hearing from you too. Sometimes your message brings back memories of my HS and out-of-school teen experiences. Things boys did back then, it sounds like you, Chip and friends are still doing. Thumbs up!!--have a good week. Talk later.

Rick

Posted by radleyradley on 2018-12-31 12:35:45

Hi Rick, Mr. Rick,

I know it has been a long time but I am still here and hope you still want to chat with me. We were talking about good parenting. I made a big mistake recently which had we carried it through could have led to me being a very young teenage Dad. That is not something I look for but my girlfriend Lucy had said no before I even started searching my wallet for a condom. It stayed there and we stayed safe. Even without doing the act we would have been in a lot of trouble if we had been caught. It was a moment in time as it so often is and what we eventually did was a safer option. One day I am sure I will be a dad and discover I think there are two sides to every question and sometimes they are both right. I think families succeed when they can reconcile their love and respect for each other with different points of view. But sometimes, like it would have been with me and Lucy, even only doing what we actually did, there is no different point of view. We did not feel we were doing anything wrong but we should not have done it. How do you feel about that?

I hope that one day you will come to Europe again. There is a lot to see and you could spend a wonderful two weeks in England or France or Germany or Italy or Spain or many other countries and still only scratch the surface. Even where we live has a rich seafaring history being the place from which John Cabot sailed to the new world, Brunel pioneered railroads and first the first iron ships, and the economy based on trading tobacco and slaves made a rich city. It even has two universities and two cathedrals. I know you want to see as much as you can experience different cultures and try different things but I fear that a blur of too many countries in too short a time means you may find you cannot remember much of any of them when you get home. I would love to visit the USA one day but I would not expect to do the whole of that in two weeks either.

Dad is a fair man and a wise one. It is very likely that the way he dealt with Chip in New York was the best way. He dealt with that situation without the need to beat Chip. Which is something neither of them wanted, even though it is what Chip was expecting. There are different situations, different days and sometimes a sassy mouthed boy does need to feel the belt stripe his bottom. Had Chip sassed or disobeyed mum nothing would have saved him. I learned that the most painful way when I was younger than Chip is now. He makes his own mistakes but he also learns from mine. Yes at around 13 my sassy mouth sometimes forced dad to drop my jeans and underwear. At about that time dad started using a leather belt on me.

Maybe it was just a bad choice of words or a misunderstanding, or maybe it was something more, but Chip and his girlfriend are very much together now. Dad told me there are many twists and turns in the dating game and probably someday I will find someone I want to be my life partner and mother of my children. Right now I cannot imagine that be anyone other than the delectable Lucy but I have got to be more careful. That is 2 times we have so nearly crossed the line. She may not have been naked but I certainly was. We may be older but we do not seem to be any wiser in our relationship. Is being a delectable boy and a delectable girl enough? Are broken hearts and broken relationships something we still have to go through? Scary!

People say that kids behaved better at school when they knew they would be caned or paddled if they did not. Do you agree? In England no schools not even a private ones are allowed to hit kids. I think it still happens in a lot of homes, homes like ours but it does not happen often or need to, Growing up Chip and I have always known it is there and from time to time felt it strike our bare bottoms. It must be very painful getting paddled at school then facing another one from your dad most likely bare bottom. That did not happen to me but if home found out I had been in trouble at school like if they sent a note home I would have some explaining to do if I wanted to avoid a further punishment. My uncle made me take my trousers down and said he ought to make me take my briefs down too and that if I was his son he would have. So I kept them up but skimpy briefs like mine left most of my bottom bare.

There are rules and structures at home. We have to do our homework, make our beds keep out bedrooms reasonably tidy and do a share of household chores. I suppose it is good training for the big wide world out there where anything you do not does not get done whether it is cleaning your room doing your laundry or keeping yourself clean. It seems like there is a lot to learn and dad and mum are the best teachers until that big move comes. I can already cook a meal Mum and Dad will eat so I do not think I will starve. I should be able to learn to cook a few more dishes before then. I might as well start learning now.

Halloween seems a long time ago but I promise you it was a lot more fun than trick or treating. I was even handing out sweets to kids who came to the door. I knew most of them anyway even all dressed up. Lucy and I are not proud of everything we did but we have put our relationship back on an even keel and promise it will not happen again. I do not want to be a Daddy yet. I do know how to protect myself and I always carry a condom with me. But we believe having sex the first time is such a big deal we should save it until we or older and settle down with our lifetime partner. We are quite embarrassed that be so nearly slipped. Again. We are working hard on that relationship that is so important to us both.

I always like to read your messages and I am glad I sometimes I bring back memories. I hope they are good ones. You know what. Despite your good boy reputation I think that growing up you were as naughty as me, and like me some lessons had to be taught on your bottom, with your shorts round your ankles or on the floor. You grow through it and think my belt whipping days are done

I do not play nudie games much any more but yesterday when Dixie was here we turned the lights low, but on some music and did a strip tease. I think most boys like to get naked with their friends sometimes. We were dressing when his mum got home and we were lucky she did not come any earlier or she would have caught us naked and and... you know. We still do that. There is nothing wrong with it.

We are partying tonight and Lucy needs the whole day or get ready. I will need to look sharp too. I wonder what will happen.

Best Wishes for 2019.

Radley

Posted by R.J. on 2019-01-05 18:40:35

Hi Radley,

It was a long time but I've always enjoyed hearing from you, so feel free to chat when you have time & feel like it. I figured with holidays and maybe school Autumn Term was ending before Christmas Break and you might be studying for exams, was the cause for not hearing from you. Hope you didn't hesitate messaging because of the situation with Lucy and your relations. I'm not a judgmental guy. Your dad is your best resource always, but if you ask my opinion, I'll share. The condom is like insurance, nice to have if needed, but hope it isn't needed too often to use. You are 16/17 and probably Lucy the same. You're a normal healthy male apparently and those bodily urges happen. It is wise that Lucy said NO. At 16/17 you may be biologically ready to start the next generation but time-wise probably not ready & too young to be a good dad. You've talked previously about university plans and maybe a career in law. You say you hope to travel & see more of the world. Can you start to imagine how all that would be halted or your life ruined if you became a teenage dad? I had natural urges too when your age but thank goodness, controlled myself until I found that right lady. Hope you & Lucy or whoever later is your right lady would think & control the same.

You ask how I feel about that. I ask you, how do you think your parents would feel or even Lucy's parents would react if you two had been caught fulfilling that urge? To have to tell one or both sets of parents you were about to be parents yourself. Had a guy I knew back then at 17 who became a dad. Life plans changed quick. He and gf at least were wise enough to know they were not ready to raise a child & placed the little girl for adoption. It was their child but they would not see her grow up & all those special moments. Would you or Lucy be emotionally ready to do that? It's not what I feel/think, but how would you feel about yourself?

You are correct and maybe Europe in retirement will be part of our travel agenda. Only time will tell. Hope you have many opportunities too, to visit the US or Europe or the world in general to your heart's fulfillment. Traveling is an education too and more impressive than learning from a textbook or sitting in a class.

From what you've said regarding your parents, it sounds like they are wise and that is why I previously mentioned that your dad is your best resource to talk to and learn what it takes to be a man/husband & likely someday a dad yourself. I too, like I suspect many boys as adolescents, had a 'sassy' mouth or as my dad put it, an attitude. Around 13, he too resorted to his leather belt to adjust my mouth/attitude. I recall several times the warning of getting the paddle if I didn't get my act together. The warning frequently worked, but a few times, it took a session with my jeans and skivvies lowered & that paddle or belt 'torching' my rear-end to get the message. If it was mom I sassed or disrespected/disobeyed, it was a guaranteed bare bottom got spanked or when older a belt tanning. As for Chip's incident in NYC, he was probably wise enough to take a warning seriously. How to you and Chip feel about, or have you bros ever discussed together, the fact that dad took off the belt and whipped one or both of your bottoms? Many young guys today either say they disapprove or had folks who resisted CP as an option. Some of my young clients however would tell me that what they really needed as a boy growing up was a dad, like you say your dad & my dad, who would take down pants and smack their young butt. My dad was measured & even tempered it seemed always, but even as a little guy it was impressive lesson to be put over dad's lap & feel my briefs pulled down & get just 1-2 hand spanks. I think you previous said you & Chip were initially spanked as boys with dad's hand and it was the traditional OTK or across a lap position you got it. Was there one spanking you or Chip got that you would say was worse or one that you or both of you got that you knew was well deserved and never be forgotten?

Rad...life is scary in many ways & at many times. At 16, you are still young enough to expect there will be more than a few heartbreaks. Lucy may prove to be your #1 & life partner and maybe not. Time will tell. It must have felt natural to be butt-naked with Lucy present, but natural urges are part of knowing what to control to be wise and mature. The human body is a beautiful creation, but should be special when shared.

I'm not sure the option of a school caning or paddling would've changed behavior for some boys. I had classmates who got trips to the hall & a paddling more often than I would've wanted too. Though sometimes they had 'iron' butts. A threat option of the school paddle probably benefitted me. Dad's promise to finish the session when I got home was influential too. Was there any misbehavior you got into at school, that had they still been able to cane your hands or backside, you know darn well you would've earned that caning? You spoke of your uncle allowing your briefs to remain on, I guess you were somewhat lucky but as you said, briefs would provide no real protection. A part of what I discovered with a school paddling was jeans & underpants could be penetrated. Boys in the 70's didn't sag or wear loose-fit jeans. If bent over in form fitting jeans & pockets empty, the principal knew to simply lay the paddle swats just below you patch pockets where there was less denim and likely your shorts leaving what we called the 'sit spot' more likely uncovered & you felt those swats.

Well, I'll close for now. Hope that New Years Eve party came off well. Stay in touch and have a great 2019.

Rick

Posted by radleyradley on 2019-03-02 15:07:17

Hi Rick Mr Rick

It has been a long time. Days have run into weeks or even months. I always like to talk with you but somehow holidays have been hectic, especially around Christmas and New Year. The dust has settled and maybe spring is on the way. Yesterday we went skating in the park. For me skating means roller skating. Lucy is trying to teach me to be more confident on ice. She leads me out by the hand and who would not feel more confident holding her hand? hahaha. As you know I am a bit of a show off and tried to be clever in the park. I fell over when I was going too fast and grazed my knee but the main thing that was hurt was my pride, you know, with everyone watching! Anyway today I have the few minutes to post. Later on it is quiz night. It is usually quite a fun but can get very competitive. Last time Lucy and I were on the team that came second.

There is no specific reason I have not been in touch and it is not because I am ashamed of what happened with Lucy, although I am. I have read what you had to say that and it was very similar to was my dad would have said if I had told him what had happened, what had not happened. He once said to me no hanky panky Radley and I said dad, we are just friends. But he has been a boy and so probably knows what goes on

We have been taught about condoms and safe sex and all that in sex education at school, and I know enough how not to become a teenage dad. But for some time I think the condom in my wallet will remain as my insurance policy rather than something I need to use. Most of the time I can resist testosterone inspired urges but one day I may be glad of it. For now I have a girlfriend who knows when to say no and I know when to listen. One day the time will be right. Up till then I can just dream. This is not something I can talk to my dad about but I think his advice would be very similar to yours. At least until I am 18. By then it is up to me and mom and dad can only hope they had done enough. Did you and your wife find it hard letting go? But whoever is his when I find right lady I want to spend the rest of my life with I hope I can give her the greatest gift a boy can give a girl. Take it from me Mr. Rick one day I want to be a dad. And there is only one way that can happen

It would be incredibly difficult to explain to my parents and to hers and even with a Romeo and Juliet exemption I would be in massive trouble. But as I said before I know where babies come from and I am not going to do anything stupid.

I think I know where you are coming from and I think we are probably coming from the same place. I have been there almost there and learnt from the experience. If I want to keep the delectable Lucy as my girlfriend I will have start thinking about things more, more about her.

I hope you are able to fit another trip to Europe into your travel plans. There are many treasures here. Things are so tense here that it is hard to say when I will be able to start the adventures that travelling always brings, the adventures you hear about but know you cannot be part of, when your friends or relations tell you about their holiday.

I am sure that one day I will get the opportunity to travel and explore. Maybe I will not add to the sum of human knowledge but I will find something that is new to me. My dad told me that if I travel I should prepare to be amazed but he also added a cryptic travel broadens the mind. Did you find that? Using a latrine at scout camp broadened my mind about bathrooms. Travel to my hearts content? Travel until my money runs out I think. I do not have a credit card or a flexible friend!

My parents are wise and do seem to understand about bringing up boys. I wonder where they got that from. I know that my dad is my best resource to talk to. He knows what it takes to be a man one day a husband or even dad. But even that so there are some things you cannot talk to your dad about. I have more to say now but I usually manage to keep control of my mouth. Like you it took a few sore bottom sessions for me to learn that there are always two ways. Of course there were those times when you are stuck between a rock and a hard place but sometimes you have to face up and take what you get. When I was13 my Dad decided I need Smart guy is the one who keeps those warnings picks up on the signs but sometimes… you cannot always win and I can remember times up in my room with my dad, pulling my jeans and pants down and bending over a chair or bed. That was not abusive for vicious but Dad knew a little pain on a boys bottom went a long way Not that it ever felt like a little pain but I know he could have made it worse.

It is all about getting your act together and if you cannot or will not do that your dad has a way to make sure you get the message. Of course sometimes with dad you get a bit of leeway, he will put up with a little bit of sass from you. But if it is directed at mom then punishment is always applied to a bare bottom

As for Chip's incident in NYC, he was wise enough to take a warning seriously. Yes, that is true and Dad was wise enough to see that Chip had learnt a lesson without needing to spank him. I was surprised because I thought he had already done enough to earn a whipping and had been promised one back at the hotel. But that is why dad is Dad and I am me.

Being spanked with a brush and later the belt was a part of our lives but not a big part. Yes, there were times when we had our trousers and pants down for a bottom warming but it did not happen that often. Of course we talked about it, and we thought that although it hurt like heck it was over quickly and was really no worse than the alternatives. I do not think either of us ever suggested that Dad should punish us in some other way or that he was in some way unfair or unreasonable. We just accepted that that was the way it was. Or is. There is still a place for that kind of punishment in a boys life, and a boy who does not have a dad to do that for him misses out. And I know it is something that could and did happen and so it did not need to happen very much.

Yes, that is right. At first Dad took us over his knee or lap for a spanking. He would pull down our shorts and underwear and give us a few slaps with his hand. Later on it became more serious and we learnt how much the belt could hurt. I had a bad feeling inside when dad showed us the cane grandpa had used on him

I really was quite naughty growing up. Chip is naughtier but punished less than I was at his age. Although belt whipping hurt most I was more able to take it and it is paddle spankings that stand out. I do not remember the pain so much as the lesson learned, so I suppose in that way every spanking I had was deserved in that I learnt something. It is hard to identify one which stood out. They were all memorable in their way. And I think Chip would say the same. I do remember a 13-year-old Radley being told he would be skinned alive if he did something again but even I was not going to mess up on a warning like that. But I cannot put my finger on it and say this was the worst but I can tell you there were enough to give this boy plenty of tears. I wish I could say I could count up the spankings I was given which were not well deserved but I cannot. If there was one it would be a small price to play for all those times it was well deserved and I was not spanked. Any boy will tell you that.

Delectable Lucy and I are trying to do the best for each other for now and for our futures whether together or apart. I cannot imagine wanting to do the things I want to do with Lucy with anyone else. I was not uncomfortable finding myself naked her bedroom with her there and if I tell you the truth I would have liked to have done more. But we do know that a part of growing up is knowing that natural urges do need to be controlled or they will control you. As I said when I settle down with the someone who will be my life partner I want to have something very special to share and a boy only has one thing that special. Grandpa embarrassed me at the dinner table last Sunday when he asked are you getting plenty Radley? I know I turned scarlet and everyone laughed

I am sure the option of a school caning or paddling would have changed behavior for some boys. Ones like me. I think ida been scared of a school paddle or cane.

It is hard to be sure that I would have been caned because I do not know what I would have to have done to be caned. I let off a stink bomb at school and set off the fire alarm. I let Odysseus escape from my pocket. My parents were called when I had a bleeding nose from a school yard scrap. I know boys who have been paddled for less and my dad knew I needed my trousers down. I feel sure that with my record I would have been caned at school whether it was on my hand on my bottom I would have been there.

I was lucky my uncle let me keep my briefs up. He told me that if I had been his son he would have made me take them down. But they offered little by way of protection because the swats were aimed at that uncovered spot just below the leg openings. I might just as well have been bare. We are not allowed to sag trousers for wear distressed trousers at school. But I still like to wear loose fit jeans at weekends and since I do not have Calvin Klein underwear I do not need to show off the label on my underpants. Lucy already knows it is what is inside that is important and she knows just what that is! I would think that those tight jeans clinging to your bottom and pulled tight would offer you little protection when you get spanked at school. I am glad I did not have to find out

I love to party and I love to after party. It is a special time for me taking the delectable girl home. Sometimes we take a taxi but it is more fun to wander through the park dawdling and talking. We would not go there on our own but to be honest I have never seen anybody else there apart from some Australian students who couldn't find the hostel.

Well that is a long letter MR. Rick and I hope you have found something of interest in there. I hope you will find time to reply and until you do I will be watching the space

Best wishes for today and tomorrow and all through 2019

Goodbye for now

Radley

Posted by R.J. on 2019-03-06 17:56:25

Radley, it has been a long time, but do understand, and is good to hear again from you. I would suspect holding hands with Lucy would give confidence. So you prefer roller rather than ice skating. I haven't done either in years. Would likely bruise more than my pride & ego if I tried now. What guy doesn't like to show-off a bit with his best girl present? Did she come and pick you up off the ice and 'dust-off' your sore knee. It probably more comical had you fallen & bounced on your backside!!

Well maybe my response to what nearly happened with Lucy, sounded similar to your dad. I'm a dad too and was a boy once and we know first-hand what goes through a guy's mind when alone with a girl. You're a wise young man and Lucy apparently even more wise and it stopped before regrets might happen. You are mistaken when you say you can't talk about it with your dad. He would be your best and most truthful and trust-worthy resource. He wouldn't likely 'kick' your backside too hard because he'd remember himself at 16 and likely impulses he had. Sure it was hard for me too at 16, but with pride say, both my wife & I held off that 'gift' until marriage. Some day you'll likely make a damn good dad and further down the line, be the dad having that talk with your teenage son. A dad talk is far better (maybe a bit embarrassing) than any peer bragging on the street with guys.

Radley, you are a young man but still only 16 and so you have years ahead to travel and explore. The wife & I might do Europe again and there is also new adventures on our side of the ocean to explore too. You might envy stories of relatives and friends who have already traveled, but your day is coming & worth waiting for. My folks were not wealthy when I grew up so we vacationed but no far-distant or fancy vacations. You had that recent trip to NYC & so look at your blessing in that & can brag on that. Traveling does broaden one's mind and I suspect you'll learn even more than a scout camp open-hole latrine for a nature call. I recall being in France at a bus station & to my amazement my stall was simply a hole in the concrete floor; or in Germany after a couple beers having to relieve myself with the cleaning lady there to my urinal. We all have the opportunity to discover & broaden life experiences.

Boys I think by nature run their mouth at times without thinking. I've already told you of my incident at 16 & assure you it was humbling along with a sore butt. You mom & dad learned parenting skill by simply being your age at one point and modeling after your grandparents. They likely learned some through talks & others the hard way as you described at 13. Granddad probably had your dad's britches & shorts pulled down a few times spanking his bare rear similar to what you recall from your dad. Hard to believe I guess at 16 that dad might've been a naughty or mouthy teen too and got a lesson with the back of a brush, cane/switch or even belt on his young hide. Do you think if you had been dad, you would've whipped Chip's butt in NY for his behavior? I guess I ask that from what you said in your message and maybe to remind you that a day will come when you might face that decision with your teenage son.

My experience growing up told me too what you said...most boys knew they deserved a butt walloping when the got one. Heard guys even say they would take the wood paddle that our school used rather than serve a school detention because it got the matter over quicker. Surprises me a little that you said you dreaded a paddling more than the belt. What do you think the brush/paddle did more effectively to your bottom than the belt? All boys have their naughty moments so you were probably no more naughty than Chip or your friends. I remember the old phrase "I'll whip you until you can't sit down." Guess that scared me & others as much as your "skinned alive" but in truth I bet dad never got you or Chip bleeding on the bottom from a spanking or whipping taking off a layer of skin anymore than I couldn't sit after...words that just psych you at the moment & maybe get you to grab your butt & think about it. Dads love their kids too much to really hurt them, even though spanks hurt.

As to the school paddlings, I survived that OK. Admit I was initially scared but also knew school couldn't make it any worse than my dad when I needed one at home & he spanked on a bare butt. I think a caning might've been worse than a paddling or the belt but at 13 or 15 back then I would've had no choice but to bend over & take what I had coming. If you were even close to being as naughty as you say you were, your bottom in my school days would've been acquainted with a cane or paddle. I doubt any boy between 11-15 at my school didn't get paddled at least once at school. Further, I guess your dad would've dealt with you again when you got home. If you had faced a school caning, would you have rather held out your hands & take it across fingers & palm or empty trouser pockets and bend over a desk to get it on your bottom?

Enjoy those party opportunities and walks through the park. Those go with being 16 and what say is the best years of life. You too have a great 2019 and stay in touch.

Rick