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Parenting and Spanking

TO RADLEY

Posted by radleyradley on 2018-09-24 17:07:16

Hi Mr. Rick

Fantastic trip to New York but there is always more to see and I can hardly wait to go again. I think my dad must be the ultimate prankster and likes pulling pranks as much as we do. Chip and I had no idea he would do something like that. I know we wind him up but... What a great Dad! And thank you for your compliments about the way I write.

A new school year and upper class man means new approaches and new responsibilities. Some people leave school at 16 and go to college and other stay at the same school until they are 18. The confusing thing is that college can mean post-16 A level study (exactly the same as you would do at school, high school) or it can mean University. For me I am staying at high school. Dad says I will learn more there than just how to pass exams. But thank you for the pat on the back but my experience is that some pats on the back hurt a lot when your trousers are down. Did your dad need to use the paddle or belt on you very much. I am hoping that kind of punishment is behind me. Chip hope it is behind him too although he was very very nearly spanked in New York.

Chip and his girlfriend are back together again. I do not know what it was all about or what Chip said to her. He has big eyes, soft lips and a voice like dripping honey. I know his I am sorry look. He was not sure what sort of reception he would get at her house. But they are back together again. You should have seen them in the park or just outside by the gate like I did.

I still want to study law but I do not need to make a final decision about that. I know there is an awful lot of law you have to learn and remember.

.Dad will not encourage me to study at NYU. He says British universities are more rigorous than American ones at least in freshman year. He says my likely future will be better served I having a degree from top British university rather than anywhere else other than Harvard or Yale.

I knew and know where I could get drugs if I wanted them. But the trouble they might get me into at home and in the future is not my motivation for steering clear of them. They are simply something I can do without and I know other things that get me just as I without damaging my future all my health. Yes, very tempted but in the end I said no. I can be naughty but I am not stupid.

I have tried smoking but I did not like the taste or smell and when I found out how dirty that smoke was I decided I did not do that in my lungs. I only ever space one or two cigarettes and I am glad it is far as it went. Funny thing is now I am old enough to buy my own cigarettes I do not want to.

The only new dad cigar I was ever given was a chocolate one!

I think dad would have paddle spanked my butt whatever John's mom had told my mom. Why do you think you were allowed to keep your briefs on that time? Did he not think smoking was serious? Was he a smoker? Why do you think your friend John was punished any worse than you were? Was he any more guilty than you were?

There is not much spanking anymore. What there was was usually kept within the family. Chip and I see each other spanked. Dad did not think it needed to be private as between the two of us. But there were times when friends were waiting just the other side of a door. I did not see my friends spanked very often. Normally by the time they were taking their trousers down you would be on your way home knowing you would be punished when you got there. There were times when I heard a friend take a hiding. It was quite embarrassing. I do not know which of us was more embarrassed!

You bet I was surprised to have mom ask my uncle to paddle me and at first I did not believe he was going to. Had my dad been there he would have left my spanking to him. Mum has had enough and new I needed a spanking right then. He sent me to fetch a slipper from my bedroom took me to the back room told me to take my trousers down and put me over his knee, his lap. I was angry and said I would tell my dad, knowing that that was the last I would do. He said that would save him having to. If what he gave me was going easy I would not like to experience him not going easy. I learned that dad being away would not save my bottom if I chose to be naughty. I think at 16 I would make a better choice.

It is funny that you say you would have died of embarrassment had your school principal told you to lower your jeans for a paddling, (but he never would). Presumably you had to take everything off in the locker rooms and shower naked after PE. Our showers are open plan and there is nowhere to hide so your classmates and coach see you naked. Did that ever embarrass you? And surely you sometimes had naked fun with friends.

I understand what you say about your faith, what it means to you, how important it is and how it has helped you. However I have heard my Jewish friends describe Christianity as 3 gods in one for one day in 7. There are some people who have too much heaven on their mind. I think your faith has to define your actions here on Earth. Maybe one day I will have that sort of faith.

I am glad you have been able to enjoy traveling even if you have not been charting the universe like the crew in Star Trek. I am sure you've been to some cool places and seen some exciting things, tasted new tastes and watch other people live. Have you been abroad? Yes, one day my time will come. New York is only the start and I am sure there are many new places, unexplored, at least unexplored by me, enough to keep me interested for life. I did see a book this week called 1000 places to see before you die.

I will think about NYU but only as a gap year adventure. It would certainly be exciting but you cannot fly 3000 miles when you need to do your laundry or feel a bit homesick. I would like to try dorm life a little nearer home. But watch this space

Today is a free study day. That does not mean it is a free day. We are supposed to use it for study reading or working on our assignments. So I had better get some work done.

Goodbye for now

Radley

Posted by R.J. on 2018-10-02 18:04:04

Your trip did sound wonderful and you and Chip are very fortunate to have a great dad, even if you both wind him up sometimes and describe him as a "prankster." You will likely have more traveling experiences in your future in this more global world we now have. I was in my 20s when I made my first international voyage--a cruise in the Caribbean. I had great folks but they worked hard and money for such travel when I was a boy was not possible. In marriage, my wife & I have done Europe, including England and Ireland and trips to Canada & Mexico.

Continue to take your dad's advice toward your education. I'm sure you will have the level responsibility at whatever school you study or career you choose. I think there is a significant difference between a pat on the back and a pat on the backside. You and Chip may disagree with my thinking, but I think boys need a balance of both and when needed on the backside, trousers down is best and most effective.

By 16, it should be less needed for you to drop trousers for punishment. Chip, a bit younger, might still have some learning to do from his backside. What prompted dad to think Chip might need his bottom smacked in NY? Did Chip straighten up then with dad's threat of punishment? A butt busting would certainly ruin some sightseeing.

To answer if my dad punished me...he sure did. He made a damn good paddle out of scrap wood when I was 9. Around that age, my attitude was getting more naughty I guess and my size too big to lay properly across dad's lap. Most times after 9, it was still bare butt like prior hand smack but sure stung more with wood. Experience has shown me between 9-13, boys usually need more sessions with a paddle or belt to wise-up a bit. At 13 when I earned my first swats at school, I presume dad felt it was time to escalate to his leather belt. Had far fewer sessions between 13-16 with dad's belt, but as bad as the paddle felt, the belt on bare hide cheeks was worse and even at that age and only dad & I in my room, I admit he brought me to tears. I think you've said you & Chip experienced both too--paddle & belt--and might cry also when dad needed to spank your butts. Was paddle or belt worse for you & Chip?

Good to hear Chip & gf mended their relationship. Things like that happen in teen years for all of us.

You're right in your thinking on both drugs and cigarettes. Neither are good for you now or for your future. Maybe a chocolate cigar is a better alternative. Those were the only cigars I ever smoked and it was rare too. I never liked the taste cigarettes left in my mouth or throat. My first smoking incident shy of age 12, got me and my friend punished. Him worse than I, but another good reason not to smoke. John got it worse because he & his bro had been previously warned & the fact he had swiped those cigarettes from his dad's pack. I hadn't been previously warned but folks did talk to me about their wish I not ever smoke. Dad smoked and said it was a bad habit he had wished he never started. Played a part I think in his heart attack when I was 27 and he still relatively young to die. Believe me, with seat of my jeans down and just thin white briefs the paddle still delivered a good lesson on my butt. I think dad was saying it was a warning spanking & any repeat would be bare $%!@. Your dad ever warn you or Chip with a lighter spanking than expected, maybe on trousers/jeans or just underwear? I think that might've been less than I deserved since John got it worse and yes, I was equally guilty. No 11/12 y/o boy however would say "dad, paddle/whip me more."

Other than the school paddlings, all of mine were private & in my room with just dad. I think memory of swats at school stuck because vice principal was only person other than dad to spank me and the fact there was another boy present & observed each other being spanked. It was a bit embarrassing at school and also those times I saw a friend get it or one of his siblings while at their house. The worse times for me were when I saw another parent smack across a face rather than a bottom. I almost felt like I could feel that open-hand slap & feel for him not wanting to yelp or cry with me there but knew it hurt. Glad my parents did neither.

When your uncle took the slipper to your bottom, was it just trousers lowered and on underpants or he require them down too to bare. You right too in saying by 16, I should've made a better choice of words and behavior. At first in HS at age 14, it was a bit weird feeling changing & showering naked in locker room in front of some boys I didn't know well, but I got over that soon. I would've been embarrassed had the VP said jeans lowered for the paddling because it was school. I'm sure he had seen a boy in underwear or bare too and my friend & I had seen each other naked, so it wasn't that, but just the fact a spanking at 13 on my briefs.

Dorm life at university was a great experience. Many met great guys and we had many guy-style 'bull sessions' about girls, gf's, fraternity pro & con & life experiences up to that point. Learned about other family's customs and great stories about their parents & later met some when I visited their homes. I could do my own laundry OK & I did develop good self-discipline in getting myself up for class; making meal calls in the cafeteria; time management with studies and found out boys universally did similar pranks; got similar groundings/detentions at home/school - even fact that dads of different geographic & cultural backgrounds spanked & often pants down too; and at 18 I could experience homesickness and nice to be a short drive or bus/train trip to my parents' house when I wanted/needed.

Get back to your studies--they are your priority now. Stay in touch when you want & nice to hear from you.

Rick

Posted by radleyradley on 2018-10-09 16:36:48

Hi Mr. Rick

Happy family and he's a great dad. We get on great. Most of the time. He teases us and we tease him right back and everyone laughs. Our trip to America was great and in this shrinking world I am sure I will have more travelling opportunities in the future. I was interested when you said you had done England. Most Americans I know think that means London Oxford and Stratford-upon-Avon and Europe is day in London a day in Paris and a day in Rome.

Dad and I are both talking about and looking to the future, my future. I am sure that we will reach the best solution. We are already on the same page. Chip and I both know what a pat on the back side with our trousers down feels like. A congratulatory pat on the back is much more welcome. I would agree the most boys need plenty of both. We do or at least did. Chip does.

New York was a treat. As 14 Chip was sassing whinging and showing a bit too much attitude. Back at home either of us would have been beaten for that. Somehow in New York Chip got away with it. I do not know why he was not beaten back at the hotel. It might have done him some good to be bending over the bed with his trousers down. But Chip calmed down with an expected spanking to think about and so did Dad. I do not think sightseeing would be much fun with a sore bottom. I was not about to find out anyway. But it is not the first time Chip has got away got away scot free for something I was punished for when I was his age.

It is funny that boys go through a naughty phase between the ages of about 9 and 15. You are not the only boy to have had attitude adjustment sessions from your dad. As you grow up you wise up but to get the same level of attention a little kid gets from a hand spanking a Dad may find a paddle or belt works better on a teenage boys bottom. Not much spanking now but our experience is that the belt hurts more but as kids growing up we were scared enough of the paddle and it delivered a painful sting to our bottoms.

It is good for everyone that Chip and his girlfriend mended their relationship. Things like that can happen to anyone in teen years. Heartache and heartbreak seem to be a part of being a teenager. I think I would be inconsolable if Lucy dumped me. I do not think the delectable a girl will do that. I would never do anything to hurt her or which I thought could damage our relationship. Chip is a talker and he can out sing the birds. I do not know what he said but he sure melted her heart. I am not sure if he is more stuck on her or she is more stuck in him. Probably both! Goo goo goo

I have learnt that neither drugs nor cigarettes are good for to me or cool. I can get plenty of excitement without them and you can have fun been naughty without killing yourself. Chocolate cigars are one thing. Real ones are quite another. But you had to learn the hard way. I know boys who take what they call recreational drugs but they are not for me. I care about my body and my mind too much to do that. And I care what the delectable girl would say too. It may have been a long time ago but I would think that is all the circumstances the spanking your dad did the first (only?) time you were caught smoking was about right. Not that that changes anything. Warnings were mostly verbal but there were also tell-tale signs in body language. I do not ever remember getting a warning smack as a precursor as to what might happen later if my behaviour did not improve. More likely to be a timeout on the naughty chair in the hall.

Chip and I were often beaten together and even if not in front of each other certainly in the same room. If our friends or other people were there they would at least be in another room. School? There was no beating allowed at my school but when the PE teacher flexed his running shoe anyone who was thinking of being naughty changed his mind and any messing about quickly subsided.

The time my uncle slippered me he told me to take my trousers down but I kept my underpants on and up. But those skimpy white briefs I used to wear offered little protection and left large areas of bottom bare. I was not embarrassed because he was seeing me in my underwear but I was very embarrassed that he was beating me. Knowing I deserved it did not make it any better, hurt any less. I was quite used to seeing my friends naked at home as well as at school. But it would have been embarrassing to hear a VP tell me to drop my jeans for a spanking, even though I know he has seen boys in their underwear or even bare before . It is just being at school I would think.

Dorm life at university sounds like fun, and is something I will look forward to when the time comes. It sounds as though there will be a lot to learn very quickly. I am surprised you had time to be homesick .With his parents being in England Dad LOVED NYU and New York. I love New York too.

Keep writing.

Best ever

Radley

Posted by R.J. on 2018-10-17 16:54:24

Radley from everything you've said in the past, I don't have any doubts that you have great parents & a great family. I was lucky in that too. It is good that you & Chip can razz dad and he tease back. That is a strong mark of good & happy family life. Our trip to Europe & England was many years ago when my wife & I were younger and early in our marriage. We called those 2 weeks a second honeymoon. Did Paris, several cities in Switzerland, Italy and Germany. A daytrip into Austria & Netherlands. Cruised over the channel to England & flew home from London. Packed a great deal into those 2 weeks but then we were young & adventurous - much like your full week in NYC I guess. Year after that we did a 10 day visit to Ireland with a group of friends from my college alumni program.

Most boys I suspect need at various times those back pats that range over 18 inches between shoulders & bottoms. Kept me and likely you & Chip well balanced growing up. Appears you feel Chip might still need a few more pats, possibly at the lower end of his back, than you. Probably dad was enjoying too much the NYC sites to ruin by smacking Chip's backside. Wanted the trip to have pleasant memories. Wise move it sounds on Chip's part to cut back on the whining & sassy mouth--traits that often are found it boys at 14. Dad seemed more lenient and gave more first warnings to me in those earlier teen years. Maybe he remembered himself at 13/14. What he might've tolerated between him & I, he never tolerated me disrespecting mom--that would get my young backside busted for sure.

For family peace, it is best that Chip & gf are in harmony again. Maybe it was his 'sweet talk' or maybe just 2 teens who really like each other & quick to overlook. I'm sure you try to please Lucy in your relationship. Heartaches and heartbreak goes with teen years and best to learn then I guess, because they do happen again sometimes in adulthood.

I'm not sure cp at school is all that necessary. Can't fault the policy that eliminated the school paddle around the early to mid-80s in our area. Do you think the PE teacher flexing that slipper really cautioned you & other boys away from naughty behavior? Do you think he might really give a slippering? Mom or dad (other than your uncle) ever put the slipper across the bottom of you or Chip? I saw/overheard many boys at school get the 2-3 swats with the paddle. Didn't do really any harm other than a short-term sting on the bottom, but the fact that classmates saw/overheard was a bit humbling, especially in those HS years. The first school paddling I got really shocked me at 13 to reality but looking back, the VP did exactly what he should've done for skipping & forging a note. Better my butt get a paddle beating that leave me off easier thinking I could do that and only consequence would be detention after school for 1-2 days.

Dorm life at college was great fun. Exposed me to others my age from various geographic, cultural & economic backgrounds. Discovered quickly that boys are and were basically the same despite those varied backgrounds. Had many great rap talks sitting in my room or a friend's and shared common thoughts & experiences we each had over those 18+ years. Look forward to it Radley and hope it proves as much of a great experience for you. I admit my first year away had some 'homesick' moments but it really did me good at 18 to be away from home/parents and take on more responsibility as a young adult.

Enjoyed hearing from you. Take care - stay in touch.

Rick

Posted by radleyradley on 2018-11-02 14:45:58

Yes Mr. Rick. A happy family and a great place to grow up. Great parents who are prepared to mess around and play with us and have fun with us whilst remembering they are parents.

However young and fleet-footed you were I am surprised you could do so much of Europe in so few days. I doubt that London Paris Berlin or Rome have any less to see than New York City and we only scratched the surface in a whole week. Perhaps you could make a return visit now you have time ahead of you and experience behind you. Even where we live has hidden treasures that you will find nowhere else.

Most boys do well on the right mix of encouragement and discipline and it is a wise parent who gets the balance right. Chip and I seem to do ok. As you grow up you get more support and less trouble, at least I do. Chip sometimes struggles. I do not know why dad did not give Chip the beating he had been promised in NY but maybe it was because he wanted there to be pleasant memories for all of us. Probably once he started behaving dad decided Chip did not need that beating. I remember beatings when I was a sassy mouthed 13 year old, but when it was just me and Dad he would sometimes allow a degree of flexibility. Disrespecting mum got my young backside beaten for sure and once was enough to teach me there was no leeway there.

I do not know was Laura Banks sees in Chip but if you had a brother you would understand why. Just because he is my brother. He probably could sweet talk her but it was more probably a mix up or misunderstanding between two young teens who really like each other a lot, enough to forgive and forget. I try hard to do things that will make the delectable girl happy and I would never want to hurt her or harm her in any way. When I was a very small boy my great aunt said that once I was a little older I would break a lot of hearts. I suppose most of us will experience some heartbreaks. And being 16 does not make you immune from that. Having those two together again makes it much more relaxed at home. As I said at the start, ours is a happy home.

Even in the countries or States that still allow corporal punishment at school I do not think it happens very often. It was abolished in state schools and private schools in England a long time ago. As a kid growing up it never occurred to us to wonder whether or not the PE teacher was allowed to beat us. To see him flexing that slipper really cautioned me and I suppose other boys away from naughty behavior. I did not want to find out if he really would give me a slippering because I was fairly sure that he would. Now of course I know he would not, and if he did he would lose his job. My uncle painfully put the slipper across my bottom but Mum and Dad had other ways to give a boy a sore bottom. Chip and I both knew that, know that.

I am sure there are still boys at school who would benefit from that short term sting on their bottoms following certain behaviours. I think that paddle punishment you got for skipping school had a greater impact than after school detentions could ever have. It is not good to allow students to believe their transgressions and pranks and stunts will go unpunished. You do not have to paddle them but my Dad says kids behaved better in school when they knew they could be. I wonder if he is right and if they would today. I guess I will never find out.

I still appreciate my parents being there for me sharing with them feeding from them and learning from them every day, knowing their unconditional love and support. But sometimes I look forward to a day when I can move away maybe somewhere like college where I can live work and play with friends my own age without the stresses and strains of living life at home. I feel hemmed in, fit to explode. My uncle said it would do me good and I would learn quickly if I had to take on those responsibilities. I guess it will be easier if I start learning about them now while still living at home. Mum says she will teach me how to wash and iron clothes. And for now that is how it will be. But dorm fun sounds like lots of fun, meeting lots of new guys and finding out that whoever you are whatever your background and wherever you come from you probably has a lot in common with the others. Certainly after living together you will. I suppose.

Halloween was two nights ago. Lucy and I are too old for trick or treating so we went out to the secluded far pavilion and had some grown-up fun there. I was proud of myself keeping my little sword safe inside my trousers and my hands safe outside her clothing. It is hard with such a delectable girl, but then I am supposed to be a delectable boy. Respect and trust our big parts of our relationship and it is a relationship I want to grow deeper and stronger even if it means not doing things now and saving the best things for later.

Our Halloween disco is tonight because tomorrow is Bonfire Night when we celebrate the triumph of democracy. Conspirators were caught attempting to blow up Parliament and the King. November 5th is supposed to be the day we let off fireworks but not many people are going to wait until Monday!

It is always good to talk with you and I look forward to hearing back from you.

Take care. All the best

Radley