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Parenting and Spanking

Dad tanned my hide

Posted by Boy from New York on 2017-06-07 19:42:43

Dad gave me a real thrashing today like he is really angry with me. I did not like having ti wait but if this is hoe he punished me after his cool down time I think I would have been dead meat if he had done it while he was het up. He yelled at me good and told me that if they had found the pot at school I would have been expelled and they would probably have called the cops in as well. I have got rid of it all ,even what mom did not find in my room. I bought enough for Stevie and me from a school mate. God my bottom is sore. Belt on bare bottom, not cane. Guess you and everyone else will say you needed that thrashing Jamie, and you deserved what you got. If it stops me from buying marijuana again it will tell my Dad that the belt is still effective on at least one 15 year old bottom.

I am still whimpering a bit and I cannot stop the tears running down my face. It still hurts too much to even think of pulling my shorts up.

What am i going to tell my girlfriend? What will she think of me? Will she dump me? Will she go for a boy knows how to behave?

I wish I had resisted that temptation. I wonder how many boys have ever thought that!

Jamie

Posted by R.J. on 2017-06-14 17:28:19

Jamie...how disappointed I am, but probably not half as much as your mom & dad. I do commend your openness and taking ownership of this serious incident. If you were a street waif from a dysfunctional family/home, there may be an excuse, but you've told how good your mom & dad are & what they've done for you. You've described dad as a respected man of the community & see him as your hero/model in life.

If this classmate who sold to you did so on school campus, he should be expelled & arrested for the harm he is causing. Do you realize some suppliers push synthetics or lace marijuana with chemicals that can produce convulsions, organ damage or death? You said you were planning to share/use with Steve...that would make you a supplier and how do you think his parents would react or think of you if they found out? You speak of your special girlfriend...what responsible parent would ever trust a boy who has or uses marijuana or want their daughter to date him?

You were lucky it was mom who caught you and dad dealt with you within the family rather than caught at school or by police...think of the impact that would have on your education now and what a record would impact college applications in a few years or consideration for a financial assistance package. NY and other states may be revising marijuana laws but think what a record would do to job applications or career later since not all employers are open-minded on drug use...and revisions are not intended for recreational use at your age anyway.

If there was ever a justified reason for dad to take the belt & tan your bare hide, you gave him cause this time. I hope the whipping you got impressed your bare butt and delivered a lesson you'll remember...sounds like it left you uncomfortable to pull up your britches or sit anytime soon, so maybe you could stand & think awhile!! I've seen the fear and the tears in way too many faces of young first-time offenders & the shock of incarceration...you don't want that Jamie and think of how that much hurt mom & dad too.

My words may seem harsh and unwelcome to hear, but I've come to think of you as a smart young man who can take the truth, think on it & digest for his own good. I'm sharing what I've told young clients (for whatever it might mean to you): You can't undo what you've done or the consequences you faced. We all make mistakes as humans, but if we learn from our mistakes then we can resolve to do better & turn our lives around and put it behind us and assure better choices in the future. I'm confident you can do that Jamie...am I right??

Rick

Posted by Boy from New York on 2017-06-18 07:11:30

Hey Mr. Rick

You tore into me good, but it was probably no more than I deserved. I do not know what I was thinking. It is so unlike me. However I did do it and I have tried to do the right thing and take ownership of my behavior. I cannot think of any excuse. Mom and dad are good to me and I know I have let them down. Dad is a respected man in our community and I have always seen him as my hero/model. I still feel that way but I wonder if I can ever measure up. Disappointment is only the start of it. Dad messed up my bottom good. I would not say he enjoyed it but he sure as hell made sure I would not. And he cancelled our planned (nude) camping trip.

We made the deal at school but sealed it in the park. He told me he had cut it with tobacco, but I do not know if he cut in other stuff in as well. No one mentioned that the first (and only) time I used MJ. I always thought of MJ as fairly safe. I did not know about those things you said. I guess you have to know about that when you are working with young men who have gone astray.

I did not think of myself as a supplier but I guess I would have been. That is much more serious, and if I was caught doing that I would be expelled from school for sure, and could end up in youth detention for months. It does not make me feel any better when you ask how Stevie’s parents would react knowing their sons best friend was a druggie, or how I could expect Lucy’s parents to trust me and let me date their daughter if they found out. You did not ask what she would think, but she IS coming to the end of year ball next week WITH ME.

I was lucky it was mom who caught me and dad dealt with me keeping it within the family. I would rather not think about how much worse it could have been and the impact that could have now on my education and tomorrow on my my likely future. Me with a criminal record, and experience of being locked up!

If there was ever a justified reason for dad to take the belt tan you bare hide you say I gave him cause this time and maybe I did. Believe me Mr. Rick the whipping I got impressed my bare butt and delivered a lesson I will probably remember for the rest of my life! It is okay new but immediately it left me too uncomfortable to even pull my shorts up and it hurt to sit for days. I spent a lot of time lying on my front pretending I was not crying but maybe I spent some time thinking. I coulda done that earlier. Shoulda.

You have seen the fear and the tears in way too many faces of young first-time offenders and you would have seen the same in my face even though I was not expecting to be locked away. I do not want that and please do not ask me now to think about how much hurt that caused mom and dad. This is something I am not proud about would like to draw a line under and for- well not forget, but not have it think about. I think disappointment is not even the half if it.

Your words were harsh and at first I thought unwelcome. But I am a smart young man who can take the truth or a reprimand, think on it and learn from it. You are man who is doing for young guys every day so I guess you know what you are talking about. I can imagine a very young me scared and lost sitting in your office tears in my eyes and on my face and you telling me some home truths. I know I cannot undo what I have done but I can learn from the experience. I now I can do better because I am better that that, so I will do better. That I can promise. I want to turn things around put this behind me and make better choices in the future. If you are so confident I can do that then so am I. You just wait and see.

Jamie

Posted by R.J. on 2017-06-24 00:56:52

Hi Jamie,

Wasn't my intent to tear into you but rather give you what we call in Corrections System, a scared straight talk. Some juvenile offices and courts send a first-time young offender to the YDC or prison for a face-to-face encounter with a volunteer offender who like them is young and can set them straight on incarceration life--scare enough they'll change their outlook. You appear to be a bright young man and felt I could lay some impact thoughts on you that might help. As to tearing into you, I suspect from what you've said, dad did a good job verbally and across your bare hide.

Despite the disappointment, mom & dad still have unconditional love for you. If they didn't, they would not have dealt so seriously with you. I'm guessing you & Kevin are the most precious & important part of their lives. MJ may be safer than other choices but at 15 your developing mind & body isn't ready to cope with the substance. There is research that MJ may have good medical purposes & just as with alcohol, the adult body may enjoy it for recreation purposes as laws change but not at 15.

I'm not suggesting you be a snitch on the boy from school who supplied you, but that young dude is harming peers and needs to be stopped. Maybe you should talk more to mom & dad and maybe they can help through school officials or proper community contacts to get him help before he goes too far with MJ that he regrets. You obviously knew buying & possessing was wrong or you wouldn't have hidden it at home. Closing the deal in the park rather than on campus was because you both knew there was a risk & it was the wrong thing to do. I think his young hide would benefit from the leather belt too. I'm pleased to hear you & Lucy are dating for the end of school year ball. How close you came to spoiling that fun event.

Your dad knew exactly what he was doing and you deserved. As one who sees too often young guy's faces with fear & tears, I'd rather have your butt get whipped than see a nice young man who did something foolish locked up in a YDC. It's better you be face down pretending or actually crying sporting a too sore rear-end to pull up your shorts or think about trying to sit--that goes away quicker & better than a juvenile record.

Again Jamie, I know my words came across a bit harsh & I would understand if they angered you and were unwelcome. I can't apologize because in my heart and my experience with so many young men they were needed to be heard and I'm glad you can now accept them in the spirit I said them and I do have confidence in you turning this incident around & learning from it.

Hope then by the evening of that school dance your bottom had recovered enough to enjoy the company of Lucy, have fun dancing and even comfortable enough to sit. Is it formal ball or simply suit & tie or more casual dance to unwind from final exams and 'kiss' you freshman year good-bye? Take care Jamie--thumbs up!!

Rick

Posted by Boy from New York on 2017-07-06 10:22:27

Hi again Rick

Hard talk, tough talk, straight talk, scared talk! All those and more. Maybe I needed a face to face like that and some, some of what you call impact thoughts did help me, both those from you and those from my dad.

Sure I was scared, scared enough but it was not that which changed my outlook. But between impact thoughts and a sore hide I know I will make a different choice next time, a better choice. As to dad he always seems to do the right thing for me and his words and his belt were probably deserved on this occasion. What you might call a good job. Not something I want to dwell on for too long.

Despite the disappointment, despite anything, mom and dad still have unconditional love for me. That is what makes it unconditional. I have heard them say to me and Kevin they care about us because they love us. Both of us. And when they punish us, which they do, it is only because they care enough to want us to turn out good and happy and successful when we grow up. It is funny that you say that Kevin and I are the most precious and important part of their lives. I never thought of it like that. But seeing all they do for us I think you are probably right.

MJ may be safer than other choices but I am not going that way again. Whether I 15 or 25 I will never be ready to experiment with the substance again. I made a foolish choice and I am smart enough not to make it again. Alcohol? Our parents allow us to drink a small amount at home under supervision because they know that if they did not we would try it away from home where there are no limits and no supervision and no parental guidance. Did I tell you about the time – well maybe not.

I would not need to snitch on the boy from school who supplied me, because everybody knows who he is. Even the cops. They even know who his supplier is but they are looking for bigger fish. That young dude is harming peers and needs to be stopped. Talking more to mom and dad is always good advice but I do not think we can help Bobby Goode very much. I think school officials and community contacts are best placed to help him before he goes too far, but they know if they catch a sprat there will always be another one, and at least they know about and can keep an eye on this one. Of course possessing it was wrong and hiding it at home was not smart. But hiding it at school would be much too dangerous for me. I do not want to be expelled from school do I? You think his young hide would benefit from the leather belt too? I can think of a lot of young guys that applies to- guys who have probably never felt it, and probably never will.

I am so happy Lucy let me date her for the end of school year ball. Let me just say it was sensational, and it seemed like I was drawing a line over the past, and starting out again not as a druggie or a wild youth, but as the young man I strive to be. How close I came to spoiling that fun event? Well all actions have consequences!

I too would rather have my butt whipped than see me a nice young man who did one thing foolish locked up in a YDC. It was me lying face down pretending hard not to cry, not to cry too much, too red too sore to pull up even my or think about trying to sit. Sure it hurts. It is supposed to. But the pain does fade and you get over it. It probably takes a very long time to get rid of a juvenile record.

At first I felt that your words were a bit harsh and I thought unwelcome. But I know you felt they were words I needed to hear and I assume from your experience you know what those words are. There is no need to apologize because I know they are intended to help me do better next time. So I was not to happy when I read those words through the first time but I can see that there were some truths I needed to face, some actions I needed to avoid and some attitudes I needed to change. So now I can take them now I can take them as they were intended and I will look take from them what I can.

It was more of a disco then an end of term ball. I think they will save that for Commencement. But it is a chance to sign off being a freshman and look forward to next year. I am growing up and it has got to be better. I know more will be expected me. By school parents girlfriend and most of all by me.

Jamie