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Parenting and Spanking

Response To Paddlebutt

Posted by R.J. on 2017-04-23 19:10:33

I read your recent message response in spanked for getting detention, and decided to reply here since the other was getting lengthy. It was a very open revelation of what you called a rough relationship as a boy with your dad. I can see that in your words.

In my career, I see this often with my current generation of young incarcerated clients. There is never any excuse for abusiveness. Some of the situations may have come from his experiences in WWII. You admit that Vietnam messed you up. Likely WWII messed him up and he didn't want to talk about it or back then didn't know he could talk to someone about it. For a long time, mental health issues have had a bad rap & perceived stigma that for some men doesn't seem manly. Be proud that you sought and got some counseling and help.

Posted by paddlebutt on 2017-05-30 19:52:48

I really had no choice in getting help I'm glad I did but if I wasn't in the brig I probably would never have gotten help, what ever my father went through I'll never know as the South Pacific during WW-2 was very hard on soldiers he recieved a Purple Heart but never spoke of it, in Nam we went through a lot of $%!@ I was on nights my last six months over there in 1967 every night for the first 2-3 weeks I was a nervous wreck operating dozers 15-20 miles away from our main camp looking and wondering if a sniper was going to get us tonight 25 men operating at night trying to build a helicopter landing area the noise we made was very loud. I always thought if he would have talked about his experience I might have made better choices. i did fear my father, at times it seemed like he took his anger out on my butt, at 15 I did something stupid and knew I was in for it but a friend of mine talked me into staying with him over night thinking my father would cool down good idea but the fact that I never called my mom to let her know where I was wrong idea, next morning my parents showed up at my friends house and as soon as I got into the car I was smacked across the face, at home I was sent to my room where his belt did a number on my butt plus a few other shots for not coming home. I was not a big kid growing up at 17 I was 126 pounds skinny when I joined the service when I was discharged I was 160 pounds not a skinny kid anymore, I feared my father but at 23 I'm strong enough to stand up to him, when he died I was 56 a strange feeling came over me, my two sisters said the same thing even though he no longer could hurt us when I first left the service I still feared him but now at his funeral both my sisters and I felt relief as my father also hit my sisters with his belt only not as violently as me, I never heard my father hitting my sisters I didn't think he hit them, they did hear me getting hit they even saw me once over his knee when I was around 9 or 10 they told me my butt was very red they felt sorry for me.

Posted by R.J. on 2017-06-07 15:53:28

Choice or not, getting help was probably best outcome for you. It is one thing to spank a kid when it's needed and quite another to abuse and leave a son in terror and fear of his dad. I've never condoned face slaps. Saw a few friends get them and was always glad my parents targeted my butt rather than my face.