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Parenting and Spanking

Response to Radley

Posted by radleyradley on 2017-11-03 11:21:52

Hi Rick

It makes a difference no longer being the youngest students in school. Greater opportunities but greater expectations and responsibility too. I guess you are right. Boys mature at different levels and different times. There is not a lot you do about it, other than to learn from your experiences and show your parents you can be responsible and can be trusted with less supervision. I suppose parents are the ones in the best position to know what level of supervision you need but younger kids need more supervision anyway.

Hallway corner time was a favourite way to punish us as young guys. It was sometimes used to defuse a situation by moving us away from a developing confrontation. Sometimes it was used as a kind of time out, a cooling off period, but sometimes it did lead to further punishment. As we grew older we are/were more likely to be sent to our room and dad deals with it. It was scary waiting for him there knowing, sort of knowing what was coming. It is worse now, knowing he will probably not lick you, but equally knowing he will devise some other appropriate punishment. I heard today that some countries do not allow parents to spank their own children. How do you feel about that? My own feeling is that governments should allow parents to bring up their own children. They usually make a better job of it than politicians. And I still think that spanking can be an effective punishment. Sometimes it can be the best thing you can do for a boy, a certain boy at a certain stage of his development.

I am glad I never felt an old-fashioned razor strop. My dad never sent me out to cut a switch for him to use on me. The long handled bath brush could quickly sting your bottom, Chips and my bottoms I mean. When we were young enough for mum to spank us it was usually with the back of her hairbrush. Boys today are very careful about other boys seeing them naked even in the locker room. Unless he told you, and he probably would not you would never know a mate had been paddled, licked or whipped. Not many boys in England are actually paddled but… You might tell your best friend but you would not want anyone else to know.

When we were little guys mum or dad would bend us over a knee or something like that and pull down our trousers jeans or shorts and underwear. When we got a little older we were expected to do that ourselves. To this day. IF he were to lick us. I am at a stage in my life where I think IF is more likely than WHEN!

Other people have said that dad sees himself in me. I find myself seeing myself in Dad. We do not always agree but in the end I can usually see he is right. I know he is the best role model and mentor I could have. I do not want to be a clone of him but he has many good points and I am sure we will model our lives on his as we grow older. Chip is not quite there yet but I know that if I can be half the man my dad is I will be an awesome man and likely awesome husband and dad. Chip and I are good buddies and look out for each other. We learn from each other and have secrets between us which nobody else knows about. We have special times and a special bond which I hope will last forever. Long after the excitement and thrills of being a teenager have gone.

The delectable girl and I are going to a fireworks party tomorrow. In England is is traditional to have fireworks on November 5 But many people have a party a day or two early or late. Our dads club together to buy big fireworks and my dad grandpa Mr Buckland and Mr Shannon put them up at the Shannon's place and Mr Jackson, who is a firefighter builds and supervises a large bonfire. And our mums make hot dogs, jacket potatoes and hot chocolate.

I will keep cool and positive. It is the best way forward.

Radley

Posted by R.J. on 2017-11-07 18:31:44

Hi Radley,

I suspect each day, unless times have changed that drastically from my HS days, you will see that difference between freshman & sophomore years. There are greater responsibilities but you will tackle them OK too. You can't always expect the freshmen to 'show' a looking up to you, but likely many will be doing just that and that is a big part of the responsibility that you give good example. You're just older enough for them to see experience in you & yet not seen as the intimidating upperclassman. You have experience as the BIG BRO to Chip & that same opportunity at school for the new younger classmates. As to parental supervision, younger kids definitely need it but as you get older, it rests mainly in your hands to prove yourself to your parents.

Mom was good at those alternative punishments...corner time, sit on the chair in time out, ample verbal warnings, etc. Dad was the 'tail buster' and I soon learned if I can show remorse with mom that could likely defuse further punishment from dad. I'm sure mom saved my young bottom from many spankings I probably deserved but was given the second chance. Probably around age 11, mom initiated the 'go to your room' grounding punishment. The vast majority of times that literally meant to sit & await dad getting home & that meant ample time to think about how far I went out-of-control or didn't heed a warning and anticipate dad tanning my young butt. I only recall one corner time I earned at school & it was 2nd grade. Were you or Chip given corner time at school or was that just a home punishment?

I've always thought parents know best about their kids. Don't believe government or the laws should dictate or prohibit any parental punishments. When I started Middle School (7th) there was a school handbook of rules, expectations, policies, etc and at the back page a tear-out page for parents to consent or not to paddlings. It was clear at school & at home what would happen. Do you think if your schools today used paddling, that your dad would consent for you or Chip to get swats at school if deserved or reserve that punishment solely at home?

I doubt your dad would want either you or Chip as a clone of himself, but to see you both develop over time into fine young men will give him great pleasure. Dads are the best role models in a boy's life and boy's who have a great bond with their dad are truly lucky boys. As an 'only' I didn't have that sibling bond you relate between you & Chip. Had friends who talked about the bond with a brother they had and in the same breath would relate hassles they had at times too. Had friends who had a younger brother who delighted sometimes getting a little revenge by 'telling' on their brother sometime he did at school or away from home knowing it would get the brother punished. Did Chip ever break a 'secret' or snitch on you to parents that got you grounded or spanked? You ever give Chip a spanking for something he did as a big brother alternative so dad wouldn't find out & likely give him a worse spanking OR take the blame yourself so Chip wouldn't get punished?

How did the November 5th party/celebration go? Sounds like a great time was planned with food and activities. You and 'Miss Delectable' have a wonderful time? Is Chip into girls & dates as yet or hang 'stag' with just guys to celebrate? Do keep the positive attitude...it will serve you well. Thanks for reply...later!!

Rick

Posted by radleyradley on 2017-12-18 19:08:01

Hi Rick.

Yes I am still here. School is school and with increased seniority there are increased responsibilities. And even if they do not show it, or try not to, you know they are learning from your example. And just as you get more responsibilities at school you get more at home too. If you can prove to your parents that you can be trusted to behave then those tight reins of childhood will probably be loosened.

I have not been spanked recently but as a young kid I learned all kinds of tricks to try and get out of a spanking. Showing remorse to mum before Dad got home was probably one of the best. It was much harder trying to defuse a situation with dad and talk my way out of punishment. But there were plenty of alternatives to spanking and I think I must have got most of them. Saved my bottom from spankings I knew I deserved but the alternatives were no picnic either. I do not know if Chip has ever been given corner time at school. I was sent out of the classroom once. I was given the mother of all tellings off that only ended because the teacher had to go to another class.

We both got corner time at home sometimes. It was mostly used as a way of stopping you from getting into trouble rather than dealing with you once you had. Mum had us kneeling on the floor hands on our heads or behind our backs noses to the corner. I think parents know more about the bringing up their kids than governments. However there are some parents who do not know how to bring up kids and sometimes need support and guidance. You know better than most how kids can suffer from poor parenting and abusive parents. Of course parents need to be allowed to bring up their children, but equally those children deserve to be kept safe. Rules and expectations and policies mean you know what to expect. If you are told that a certain action will lead to a beating and you do it you should not be surprised when your dad tells you to take down your trousers and pants and puts his belt across your bottom. It may all be in the past but it has happened to all of us.

If Chip and I had been at school 20 or 30 years ago I am sure Dad would have signed the consent form for both of us to get swats and school if deserved. Now? Probably not, at least not at our age. Heck, he hardly gives us swats at home any more. Not since the last time!

Chip and I have a special bond and are very close. Sometimes Chip would get some revenge by telling on me knowing I would be punished. I sometimes needed to spank him but that is something some brothers do. And we both stepped up and took punishment properly deserved by the other rather than snitch. I only once owned up to something he had done to save his bottom even though I knew that I would get worse punishment for it and he would have had.

The November 5 fireworks party was a big success, like it always is. And in the semi darkness no one can see what you are really doing. I walked a little way from the main action with the delectable girl but there were still plenty of fireworks inside my underpants! I was so excited but know the DG did not need to see anything to now that. Yes, surely a wonderful time!

Chip is more interested in the idea of girls than in actually dating one. It is funny seeing how skittish and tongue tied he is when he tries to talk with girls especially cool ones and especially Penelope Ross. He is too scared to ask her out as yet so he still hangs 'stag' with his mates to celebrate and watches the girls.

Positive? Who would not be with Christmas creeping ever closer? I hope you have the best possible of all Christmases. I read on another thread that you are retiring so I wish you all that you wish yourself. I hope your God will continue to bless you.

Next time I promise I will reply more quickly. I was 12 when dad demonstrated what happens to boys who put off replying to message. It was the longest week of my life. I almost wished he had beaten me instead. Almost.

That is all for now but as the Terminator said I will be back!

Radley

Posted by R.J. on 2017-12-23 15:57:24

Yes Radley, apparently school is still school. Long time ago for me, but still have some memories. I'm sure you've taken on those responsibilities at both home and school & are that example needed for both Chip & younger classmates. I'm sure you will find too that the reins are lifted as you continue to prove yourself worthy.

What boy, even over generations, didn't try to talk himself out of trouble that might have resulted in a spanking. My mom wasn't a spanker, but never in my presence at least, objected when dad spanked me. I'm sure she too saved me from a few deserved spankings by not telling dad of some misdeeds or letting her method of time-out on a chair or in the corner be sufficient. Would your mom spank you & Chip or leave that to your dad? I had alternatives too, even from dad, that worked at times.

My career has certainly exposed me to poor parenting traits. I've seen many young lads that I'm sure could've been turned-around as boys with a little home discipline. I have also seen on occasion the results of abusive beatings that never could be called discipline. I whacked butts as a dad, just as my dad did with me, but like him, kept it age appropriate and reasonable. I've always said I never knew a boy growing up that didn't need to be spanked from time-to-time for some misbehaviors. I've never been one to condone face slaps or rulers across a hand or the belt to back, legs, feet rather than confining CP to the bottom and adjacent thigh area.

My parents signed the consent and my dad further warned me of that fact and what to expect when I got home if I ever got school paddled. Dad kept that promise too. Do you think you, Chip, maybe some friends, would've behaved differently had your school still had permission to paddle? Do you think you & Chip misbehaved at school at times that deserved a paddling at school & would've preferred it on the seat of your trousers/jeans rather than have to wait to get home...face your dad with your misdeed and take it from dad more likely pants down?

Are you saying that you've actually spanked Chip rather than allow dad to find out something he had done that would've gotten him a worse tanning by dad? I think all boys, especially brothers, might engage in game/fun spankings, but not necessarily real bend over butt busting. Was it worse that time taking it for Chip rather than see or overhear Chip be punished by dad?

I'm glad your November party proved a good time for you & your date. Chip is still apparently young enough to be hesitant with girls, but a day will come and that will be past history. Here again, you might be that model he follows and the day will arrive for him to experiences fireworks in the sky as well as in his shorts!!

Thanks for your kind words and asking God to bless me. Yes, I'm using up vacation time now toward retirement at end of year. Christmas is not only creeping, but is here now. Wish you, Chip & your family and blessed & wonderful Christmas too. I'll still do some volunteer or consulting in my retirement. I don't see retirement as just sitting to allow time to pass. I will be free however to chose my interests and pace my time.

Continue your best in school and enjoy hearing from you when time allows.

Rick

Posted by radleyradley on 2018-01-21 22:42:57

Hi Rick

I think school is a store of memories some good some bad. I know you can remember much of what happened, and what you learned but perhaps not so much as I remember if it was all so long ago. Things are happening every day even now and by tomorrow today will be yesterday.

The responsibilities of being an older student or older brother are something you grow into. And if you can show that better example and that you are mature enough to take on responsibility the chances are you will be trusted more and supervised less. The tight reins of childhood will be loosed.

I could have tried to talk my way out of trouble for England! Sometimes it worked and sometimes I was still spanked, beaten.

What boy never tried to talk himself out of trouble that might have resulted in a spanking? Mum did not often spank me but when I was a little kid she would put me over her knee pull my shorts down and warm up my bottom with a very hard hand or a very stingy hairbrush. The most part she thought boys needed dad discipline. She knew how he disciplined us and I assume she approved even if she sometimes saved me from his punishment by dealing with minor misbehaviour herself. Mum did spank me and Chip but less so as we got older. I was 11 or maybe just 12 the last time mum spanked me. But there was an array of other punishments that were sometimes used.

I think home discipline is to be firm but fair. Boys in particular need to know where they stand with their parents and what is and is not acceptable. A little home discipline goes a long way. Maybe there is not a boy alive who does not need the occasional spanking to modify behavior but there is a fine line between that and those abusive beatings that go way beyond reasonable punishment and tough love discipline.

Discipline at school is quite lax. You get into trouble if you are sent to the Dean but that seldom happens. For the most part chip and I behave at school but we might have done some things differently had our school still had permission to cane us. It never occurred to us that a school really could do that. It was just something we read about in books.

Chip seldom misbehaved at school but I did sometimes. Did I deserve a paddling? Had paddling been allowed I am sure some of my behaviours would have got me paddled. Is that the same thing? But I can recall occasions when I wanted punishment to remain at school rather than have to be reported at home. I was not often spanked but when dad made me take my trousers and down you would hear me holler and scream across the county.

I think all boys, especially brothers engage in game spankings. It is fun to spank your friends or have them spank you. You sting his bottom but you do not really want to hurt him. He will squeal of course but you will soon both be laughing. And you know that next time it could be your bottom. Chip one when we played scissors rock paper this afternoon so I was the one with his bottom up in the air.

The November party was a long time ago but the delectable girl and I made good use of time. We had a cold snap later with snow all round we made good use of the time too. Since then we had the new years dance at school. We very nearly got into trouble when we were caught in a part of the school that was out of bounds. We had not done anything much but that did not seem to make a lot of difference.

Chip fancies the pants off Jennifer Ross. He is still quite hesitant with girls but he worked up his courage to ask her out. It was quite funny seeing him preparing for his first date and hearing what he was prepared to tell mum and dad about it afterwards. I guess he felt those fireworks going off inside his briefs. Later I heard the rhythmic squeaking of his bed, but then you would expect that.

I am sure you have plenty to keep you busy even though you have retired from full-time work. Some retired people are not very retiring! School is piling on the pressure but I will keep in touch. I need to finish my homework now or I will get a 3rd demerit which is a lot at this stage in the term.

Best wishes

Radley