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Parenting and Spanking

Response to Radley

Posted by R.J. on 2017-09-08 17:28:25

Hi Rad,

Now that the first week of the new school year in ending, how was it for you & Chip and being a year older in school seem any difference for you? A six-week summer break doesn't seem long compared to 3 months we had when I was in HS, but hear now that many schools are going to shorter summer break & then offering slightly longer breaks for holidays. Some say shorter summer break helps student retain what they learned the previous year.

So enlighten me...is Chip a nickname then for Josh or who is Josh that you mentioned regarding being 13 & Scout camp? That back-to-school party sounds a great idea. I'm glad it was a great time for you.

So do you think many of your friends miss out on parental discipline that they likely deserve as much as you say you & Chip sometimes need dad's hand or whatever he has in his hand to 'tenderize' a backside? I think grounding at home & even after school detention has a place in teenage discipline, but it's a shame old-fashion butt spanking has fallen to the wayside in many homes. It worked for generations to produce fine men and did no harm other than a short-term sore bottom. I suspect all of us, if truthful, got away unpunished for things we did & should've been. There is nothing more important than a good dad/son bonding and I agree, it isn't always a dad reprimanding or as you said, spanking. Just talk & guidance is good too.

When young, even at your age Rad, we don't always think of our dad as the 'wise man' but we should give him more credit. Sure he learned much about being a man & dad from his dad, just as you & Chip will too. Just like taking medicine from a doctor, you look for the smallest dose that works & cures. A dad doesn't want to be the 'heavy hand' all the time in the discipline area, so he looks to find the least dose that works with his son/daughter. You will some day likely see yourself or some of those stunts you pulled in your own son when you have one. Boys are still boys down the path of generations. It's interesting to hear you say, as a young man in a generation now that is not as acceptable to spankings, that you might tan your own son's hide when he might need it and do it pants down.

If a boy is getting his hide smacked & especially if he's stripped to undershorts or bare, there is a natural reaction to yelp or howl and if just dad & you private, to even shed a few tears, but no guy wants to so react, if he can help it, in front of a peer or even have a peer see or overhear him butt smacked. I remember being full of guilt & remorse at 16 for what I had said that disrespected my dad, so that guilt as well as his belt produced some tears as he leathered my hide, but both times I got the paddle at school, I took it more stoic, despite the sore bottom I had, in front of the other guy & principal.

So you have 'eyes' for an attractive teacher? Guess we all went through that 'crush on a girl' phase even with an adult woman teacher. Better to stifle those feelings a bit though I would think if you want all to go well at school. It's one thing to think, touch or even kiss a gf, but not the same with a lady teacher. I'm sure if you show your delectable girl respect, she'll show you signs of appreciation, reserved just for you and not just any boy.

Bye - Take Care

Rick

Posted by radleyradley on 2017-09-16 11:56:09

Hi Rick

School is school and things are getting back to normal. It was a bit strange at first realising that you are not a freshman any more and there is a whole year of kids there who are younger than you are. On the first day of term you feel a lot more sure about yourself and it shows. Teachers are the same, classmates the same and although there are some changes most things seem just the same. Maybe the thing that has changed most of all is me! Not the same kid I was this time a year ago. I have learned from the experiences I have had- not always the best way to learn, and some I wish I had been able to avoid.

A six-week summer break does not seem long enough but over a year I think we get nearly as much time off as you did. Lots of little holidays when you cannot get anything done. Some people say children get bored in long school holidays and in some families where mum and dad are both out working all day I can see that might happen. But I would love a three-month break and I am now old enough to be left alone and make my own fun. Maybe a shorter summer break does help students retain what they learned the previous year. But summer is a time to recoup and refresh yourself not try and remember dusty dates from history vague maps from geography, famous quotations from literature, and the name of the prime minister in citizenship!

Josh? I do not know even know anyone called Josh. I must have been thinking about somebody else. Chip is a nickname, a name everyone uses for my brother but his name is not Josh or anything like it.

A back to school party softens the pain of returning to school and you know what a great time I had. Radley and the delectable girl. The party was awesome but walking home afterwards was even more awesome. I am still thinking about it. But you know what I did on my bed when I got home. I felt I had no choice. It is something a boy sometimes has to do.

I do not think many of my friends miss out on parental discipline. But whatever they need or deserve I do not think they are licked as Chip and I still are, could be. They deserve it as much as we do. Grounding at home and detention after school detention seem to be the norms of teenage discipline, but in some homes the old-fashioned ways survive and we know a butt whipping is still an option. Child protection have a different point of view but I agree with you that it worked for generations to produce fine men and does no harm other than a short-term sore bottom.

Of course I have got away unpunished for things I have done but perhaps you should only be punished those things you are caught doing. Just a thought. There are plenty of things I can think of that I would have been punished had I been caught, I wonder if I should have been. There is nothing more important than a good dad- son bonding, Most of the time it is not a dad reprimanding or punishing you. More like praise and encouragement. Talk and guidance are often enough. And even good boys need that.

Like father like son, and my brother is surely a Chip off the old block ha ha. It was surprise the first time I found that Dad did not have all the answers and could not do everything. But I think you are right there is still plenty Chip and I can learn from him. He has already done much of what we hope to achieve and he is a great Dad. He must have learned much about being a man and dad from his dad. That is the sort of thing they do not teach you at school. I know that someday I may see myself in a son pulling some of the same stunts I have pulled, and trotting out the same implausible excuses. Boys are still boys down the generations. I only said I might tan my own son's hide when he needed it and might do it with his trousers down. Mum says it does not count unless your trousers are down and even these days Dad thinks that beatings as he calls them are best done on a boy’s bare bottom. I do not think many of my friends get that. At least not a very often. But then nor do we.

If a boy is getting his hide whipped as you do especially if stripped or wearing just briefs, it is hard not to yelp or howl. If it is only you and dad in private you might even shed a few tears not let it go. You try that much harder when any of your peers are around. It is bad enough them knowing you are getting spanked or seeing it. You do not want them to think you are a cry baby as well.

Now do not get me wrong. I only have eyes for the delectable girl. But I do have a very attractive teacher. I have not exactly got a crush on her but well she is hot. I think it would be very bad for me to let it go further than that. In any case her boyfriend is about 10 feet tall and would likely pulverise me! It is okay to think, touch or even kiss a gf if you can put up with chatter of friends- mine say oo la la . I would far rather show the delectable girl what I know she wants from me. She will do something special to show me she appreciates it. Something special that she would not do for just any boy.

You know Rick I am a lucky guy.

Bye for now

Radley

Posted by R.J. on 2017-09-20 17:50:47

Hi Radley,

Even the same can be a change when your self-image has changed. Maybe those experiences have caused you to mature a little. Maybe you are not a kid anymore, but a young man now. Seeing classmates a year younger and class behind you can give an awesome sense to life & a new responsibility. Don't let it go to your head though!!

I have mixed emotions over the short summer break verses the old fashion 3 months I knew as a student. Maybe it is caused by more families with both parents working. I know at 15 you would be old enough to be left alone unsupervised but maybe that is what school system and some parents fear--too much unsupervised time to get into trouble. Not everyone may be able to handle lack of supervision like you.

I would hope & think most teen could often be talked to and that sufficient to solve problems & avoid trouble. There were talks my parents & I had at your age and that ended it. There were times though that dad simply directed me to my room and my butt got tanned. Sounds like options maybe that would work for you & Chip too. I think parents know their young people best & act in their best interest. Friends & classmates might feel uncomfortable at your age to admit or freely talk about a butt warming occasionally. It may happen with them too. It was more common in my day as a teen so we talked and we knew it happened & to all of us at time. When it does happen, know it is out of care/love by dad for you & Chip.

Similar to your mom & dad's thoughts, my dad believed in the bare butt for a real spanking/whipping. I grew up thinking it was simply to make it hurt more. As a young adult I learned why dad did it bare--he wanted to see when enough was enough & not inflict injury. Found that good reasoning & carried it forth as a dad myself. You guys don't have anything tucked in your briefs or boxers that dad has not seen or has himself. Your britches & skivvies didn't misbehave so why smack them when most teens have muscles in the rear-end that can absorb a whack.

You appear to be a lucky guy and both you and Chip will grow in that realization as you age. I look back with gratitude to my wonderful mom & dad for all they did for me. I have both empathy & compassion with many of my young clients because I see the environment many grew up in--sad. Parents aren't given to us to just judge & reprimand but to care/guide/love/talk & when necessary discipline because they want the best opportunities always for us. Take care...stay positive...be the big brother to Chip that he needs...both stay grateful to your parents.

Rick

Posted by radleyradley on 2017-10-10 11:26:25

Hi RJ

I hope the experiences of the last year have helped me mature a bit. I feel like a changed person. Maybe you are right and it is about self-image. But once you are a sophomore, you are no longer the youngest kid in the school. You have a new outlook on life and new responsibilities. You are treated differently and you are expected to act differently.

I understand what you are saying about holidays. At 15 I am old enough to be left alone unsupervised and make my own fun. Where kids are younger and cannot be left alone long holidays may be a struggle for working parents. It is very easy to get up to mischief and into trouble if no one is looking over your shoulder, looking out for you. For me, I could do a lot in three months.

We find talking- talking to and talking with- is usually enough to solve problems and avoid trouble. With give and take and goodwill on both sides issues can often be settled there and then. Of course there are times when it ends with my nose to corner in the hall or up in my bedroom with my trousers and underwear down bending over my bed and dad walloping my bottom. Yes it still happens. Sometimes. Options that have worked for Chip and me and probably still would. We behave better now so more things can be sorted by talking and fewer need the belt. I will settle for that.

Not many of my friends admit that they still get even the occasional butt warming but I am sure some of them do. Spankings are not as common as they once were and many parents seem to get by without the need. Our dad knew the belt growing up and he thinks what worked with him will probably work just as well with us. I am old enough to know that everything that our dad does he does for us. He wants the best for us because he cares about us, because he loves us. I think Chip is beginning to understand that too.

I guess you are right that is not our trousers or underwear that has misbehaved. Maybe that is why our dad makes us take them down when we are punished like that. We never asked why. In our house spankings were bare bottom. End of story. We have never been embarrassed because as you say we have not got anything that our dad has not seen before although Chip has only just started sprouting hairs and are a little bit self-conscious about it. I have heard people say that the only reason people have a bottom, boys, is so they can be spanked. It hurts but causes no long-term damage.

I guess your environment and your parents make all the difference. When the dice were rolled Chip and I were both winners. Our parents have told us they will always be there for us and there is nothing we could do that would stop them loving us. With lots of love, care, guidance and talk and some necessary discipline they do their best to make sure we get the best.

Chip is smart enough to learn from my triumphs and mistakes. What more could he ask for from a big brother?

I am15 years old, a sophomore at school have great parents and a delectable girlfriend- of course I will stay cool, stay positive.

Radley

Posted by R.J. on 2017-10-15 19:47:26

It is that self-image you describe. You're no longer the youngest class at school and there are greater expectations for you & your sophomore classmates and part of the expectation is responsibilities. Maturing happens at different levels for each individual & it is events & experiences that enhance or delay one's maturing. Parents best know when supervision can be more lax & if a young person passes the 'test' and proves themselves worthy of less supervision, they are sometimes surprised parents grant it.

Was the hallway corner time just as younger boys for you & Chip or still an option into adolescent & teen years? I stood in the corner as a kid at the hands of my mom more than as an option with my dad. Mom sometimes gave me a reprieve from the corner prior to dad getting home; other times I was still nose to the corner as you say and dad added a spanking to it when he found out what got me the corner.

My dad spoke a few times about the razor strop that grandpa used with him & his 2 brothers. He swore how lucky I was never to feel that strap leather on my bare hide but believe me a flexible belt dad wore did a darn good job adjusting my attitude & as with you & Chip, it was bare butt stretched over side edge of my bed. Was there ever a switch or backside of a brush or paddle used with you & Chip? Older boys seldom wanted to talk about tannings they got except in the safe company of their best friends who they knew got it too. Occasionally it was just obvious without any words said, when in the locker room a guy stripped to put on his jock & pe shorts & his butt was 'marked' from a session with his dad or an earlier in the day paddling in the hallway or principal's office.

Until in my 20s & a conversation with dad over 'old times' did I fully realize why he always spanked or whipped bare butt. Claimed it wasn't to embarrass me or as I always thought to make it hurt more, but rather his barometer to see when enough was enough on my young plumb backside. He never abused me, but often my young rear-end tender to even pull up my skivvies for awhile. You & many young guys in your age group never found out what it was like to take swats at school & have to return to class & try to sit & think of the paddling/whipping you'd get once home. Were you & Chip always just told to bare your butt or would dad sometimes just put you guys across a leg or bend you over & he take your pants & skivvies down?

I too won the 'roll of the dice' with parents. Had great parents and losing my dad to a heart attack way too early was the loss of a best friend & role model in my life. You & Chip will likely find yourselves modeling your dad in later life & look to his example if you have kids some day especially. I hope Chip does realize your influence in life. Keep that 'cool' and positive outlook...it will serve you well in life.

Rick