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Parenting and Spanking

Response to Radley

Posted by radleyradley on 2017-07-29 10:13:28

Hi Rick

All boys make mistakes and I think I’ve made more than most particularly recently. There was the cheating at school. I knew even as I was doing it that it was a stupid idea and something I did not need to do. I might have got a demerit or even detention but would that would have been better than what happened? Then where there was the stupid mistake I made when I kissed Annie Reason. You can read about that in my posting with JB I am not going to rehearse the whole thing again here.

I stand by what I said about dads and mums. They are your staunchest allies, mine are and everything they do they do for us, me and Chip. Best Dad is one like yours. And ours. He is always your dad but he is also your friend. He knows that there is a difference and sometimes he has to step back and be your dad rather than your friend. Dad is a smart guy. I wonder how mum knows everything. Bruno said to me that you if I was doing anything- skinny dipping or something like that mum would know about it, without me needing to tell her.

When we go our own way leaving home behind us I know that mum and dad will worry whether we have the maturity to take on responsibilities and wonder whether they have done enough, and everything they could have done to prepare us for life in the big wide world. Part of the unconditional love we have talked about. I guess a dad learns from his dad and knows how to raise us because he recalls how he was raised. He will make changes, he will make mistakes but all he wants is for us to grow up in the best possible way. He has put a lot of himself into helping make sure that happens for us so there is a lot at stake for him.

No one likes being punished but are most of us can recognize that those spankings we get growing up are usually deserved even if it does not seem like it at the time. I think those times you are beaten should be just between you and dad. I think there is a very special relationship there which makes it appropriate for dad to punish his son. I will bet some of the young men at your facility wish their dad had done just that. I would far rather lie face down on my bed and feel the belt then lie down on a bunk in a YDC and think no one cared

I usually do well in exams because I do not allow myself to become stressed. There are kids at school who are way cleverer than me but struggle because they do not know how to deal with exams. Chip wonders how I can watch TV or go out with friends on the night before an exam. I told him if he has not learned it by then it is probably too late. Hey, did you ever prepare for a test by sleeping with the book under your pillow? Chip is learning.

I learned from the cheating incident. It will not happen again. Next term will be a new year, a new slate but I will not be relying on the promise I made to the Dean to keep out of trouble. The promise I made to myself is much more important.

The boy-girl relationship is important at our age. I understand that going steady is not always the best route. I thought kissing Annie would be easy and nothing would come of it. But now I am so scared. I know there are other options I could explore but I really enjoy being around delectable Lucy. But you probably already know that. So I hope I can make up and get back with her again. I like her a lot and I will not need to pull down my trousers to prove my manhood.

Chip should have learned a few dos and do nots from me seeing the consequences that follow from certain actions If he has not he will feel the leather tanning his hide now and then. It might be the best thing for him, just what he needs. I hate to hear him scream and I do feel for and want to protect Chip more than he knows. If I could find a way to stop him from getting the belt for doing the same things I did I would. As always dad knows best.

He is not the only boy in our family who screamed when getting the belt. I am sure I was doing it too at his age. I learned plenty of lessons quickly when the leather belt connected across my butt, some even quite recently

Yes we still have lots of fun messing about with mates doing guy things like you describe. I think it is just part of normal growing up and something generations of boys have grown up with. Probably more talk than action but still plenty for a boy man to enjoy. And feel. We do not go in for birthday spankings – we never have – but we do have our own spanking rituals.

The only problem with summer is that it is too short. I will continue to work with Chip and help him to earn fewer belt sessions. I am not sure that he knows how much I care and how I feel when he is punished. Maybe we should work on that this summer because listening to his big brother could ease the pain he is sure to earn. I cannot save him from everything.

Should parents cane their children? The jury is still out but I think there are plenty of families where spanking is at least an option. You says a dad raises his kids pretty much the way he was raised. And you said spanking was common where and when you grew up. So.

See ya

Radley

Posted by R.J. on 2017-08-03 20:08:48

Hi Rad,

It was a foolish mistake to cheat. Whether a demerit or detention would've been better, only you can answer. How dad resolved the matter certainly got your attention & apparently helped you to avoid thinking of cheating again.

To parents, you & Chip will always be 'their boys' no matter how old you get. That is part of the unconditional love...there always when needed even after you gain that adult independent mode.

The butt tanning, especially as a boy gets older should be a dad/son event & as private as possible. Probably many of my young clients wish they had a good dad figure in their life, not only to punish, but to just be there for them. I've done many over the years of my career that a real butt busting was what they deserved & what I would've done if their dad...seldom get a disagreement.

Never remember sleeping with a book under my pillow but do find your method of preparation for exams a good one. Likely you & Chip just think differently on exams & each knows what works best for them.

Chip should've learned from you as older brother, but that is his responsibility. If it takes a leather belt from dad to now learn, then he must face that consequence, be it screaming or taking his butt tanning more silently as a young man deserving just what was necessary. Can't say I screamed from my dad's belt on my bare hide but there was tears since it was just dad & I in my room. It hurts I recall, but better my hide spanked than mom/dad slap my face or hands like I observed some friends get. Some day you may be the dad with a son like you or Chip & will face the decision of whether the belt or cane is needed. As a dad I used the paddle & belt & it was a hard decision at the time but followed how mom/dad raised me. I know there were times as a boy I needed dad's hand, paddle or belt on my bottom and anything less might not have been as effective. You & Chip must reflect if you needed the spankings you got & how effective they may have been.

Enjoyed hearing from you. Enjoy the summer.

Rick

Posted by radleyradley on 2017-08-10 10:12:52

Hi Rick

It is always good to hear from you. I read your message to someone else and saw you had been on vacation. I hope you had a good time with R&R and time for friends and family too. We usually have a family holiday in the summer and go some place for a change of scenery. Chip is soon off to Scout camp for a week. They are going to the Scout ranch at Ten Mile River.

It was a foolish mistake to cheat and whatever the consequences Dad helped to resolve the matter in a way that makes sure I will not be thinking of cheating again.

I have heard parents refer to adult sons as the boys, so I suppose it will be the same for us. You cannot sign your Christmas card John Susan and the young men, can you? Part of unconditional love is to be there for each other- always.

Guys need a good dad figure in their life, just to be there for them. You also need a Dad who is up to and will give you that real butt busting you deserve. If you do(?) Butt tanning, if there is any should be something personal and private between a boy and his Dad. It is not the same from Mom.

I never remember sleeping with a book under my pillow either but Chip did. He got an F in an exam he should have passed and a tanning for his attitude. My method of preparation for exams works for me. I take it in bite size chunks rather than try and learn everything is the last week. Chip and I think differently on exams and what works best for me may not be what works best for him.

Chip has opportunities learn from me his older brother, but it is his responsibility to make sure he does. If he does not a leather belt or cane from dad could be the consequence. He tries to take his but tanning silently as a young man deserving just what is necessary like I do. He does not scream much now, but nor can he keep quiet. He struggles not to cry or howl. One day I may be a dad with a son like me or Chip and have to face the decision of whether the belt or cane is needed. I wonder how a Dad knows, and how he knows he made the right decision. Did that ever worry you? I guess you do your best. Unconditional love. Both ways. We know there are times we need correction from Dad and be it paddle or belt on our bottoms nothing else is as effective.

Until later

See ya

Radley

Posted by R.J. on 2017-08-15 16:36:54

Hey Rad,

Vacation was great and probably needed. Coming back is always facing some stuff waiting for you, but even that is OK when you've had that change of pace & activities and the time with family & to see old acquaintances. Scout camp sounds neat. A good way to end summer maybe. School likely resumes soon...right?

In a parent's mind, you're always their 'boy' even as an adult. I enjoyed my dad even as an adult & learned from conversations we continued to have even though he died too soon & too young. From little guy up to 16 it was dad who spanked butt when I needed it. Be it hand, paddle or belt, dad could tenderize my bottom cheeks but also I knew (sure you do too) that they were likely deserved. As a boy gets older, it is best left to dad to punish & keep it a dad/son private session as best possible.

A dad often knows what works best & when enough is enough. I think us dads rely on how we were raised & if something from recollection worked well correcting our behavior, it likely would work well with a son too. Later as a dad, you or Chip will recall when a sit-down talk or warning was adequate...or maybe a simple time-out or grounded to your room or stripped of a privilege you were looking forward to handled a problem...then there will be times you'll see yourself in your son & a stunt he pulled similar to you at that age & you'll drop his skivvies & tan hide just like dad did with you. Dad's are not infallible so you never know 100% if decision was the right one, but you do your best & hope for the best.

Whether a yelp, howl or simply wet facial tears, we've all been there as a boy. I was too old I felt at 13 to cry when paddled at school & saw my buddy take swats & not cry. As we headed to the bathroom & then back to class, he turned to me & seemed to read my thoughts...my dad will whip my $%!@ tonight when I get home & even no tears told both of us we were likely to bawl plenty over that from dad. I was never embarrassed to cry in front of dad when spanked & he never set out to embarrass me if I cried or saw me rub my butt or lay face down still bare to recover...later it was all past history & we loved each other just as much as a son/dad needs.

Enjoy what summer break is left...later

Rick

Posted by radleyradley on 2017-09-05 11:51:03

Hello again RJ

A good summer break and time to catch up with old friends visit old haunts and recharge my batteries. But new school year started back on Monday. (Yesterday)We do not get Labor Day in September in England. But the best thing about a new school year, apart from being more senior, is that is that there is nothing waiting over from last year like there would be coming back from a shorter break. Crikey, they could not make our holidays much shorter. Six weeks for the whole summer! But a change of pace and a change of scenery and plenty of fun activities. I even had a sort of a job.

Josh enjoyed Scout camp. It was always good for a laugh when I was 13. Of course it was not at Ten Mile River. That is in USA. I musta got mixed up somewhere. They went (as always) to South Wales. In many ways it is a fitting way to end summer.

We had a whole lot of boring preparation for another school year- shopping shopping doctor shopping. Of course we had the usual back to school party at the weekend, and the delectable girl came with me. And we had some delectable time alone. I know what I was thinking but I kept my trousers done up. My hands – perhaps I should not say where my hands were!

There are lots of dads like yours and mine who will take you in hand and tenderize your bottom when needed. But there are too many others who will not. However much I hate getting spanked paddled whipped, whatever you call it I know deep inside that they are nearly always well deserved. Them and many others I do not get. Yet. Yes, as a boy gets older, it is best left to dad to punish a son. I hope I am getting too old to be spanked but even a lad my age sometimes needs his Dads guidance and discipline, That is best kept as a dad and son session-something personal and private between them- as far as possible even if it does not involve spanking.

Dad always seems to know what is best for us- when to punish went to talk and when to do something else. And who knows where he gets that knowledge, that judgement from. Maybe it is something he picked up from his dad as he was growing up. Lord knows grandpa is old school and still thinks that what works best on boys is the cane or belt applied to his rear. Dad knows it worked with him and guesses it will work with us. Seems to.

One day, Chip and I will recall those times when a sit-down talk or warning was adequate- there are some- or maybe a simple time-out or grounded to our room or stripped of a privilege we were looking forward to and wonder how dad knew what to do, And maybe there will be times when we see ourselves, see myself in my son and know that stunt he just pulled is very similar to something I did it his age. I will remember what my dad did to me and probably do the same and have my son drop is pants and tan his hide. May be that is the sort of thing you learn from your dad. You know you are not infallible and you can never be certain 100% if decision was the right one. You do your best and hope for the best. I expect my dad to do that and if I am ever a dad I expect to do that myself.

A yelp, howl or simply wet facial tears, even when you think you are too old to be crying for something like that. Yes we have been there, done that, and felt less than our13 years. But now? There are places you are never going to cry, but safe and secure with your Dad, even though he is whipping you there is nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe it even does some good.

School is school and I have the hottest teacher in the school. I had better not let my eyes wander if I want to keep going with the delectable girl.. Back to school disco was AWESOME, and yes, we did er er sort of, yes we did behave I suppose but outside the park gates I did what every boy longs to do to show his girlfriend how special she is. I needed to do that, and golly golly golly Rick I think I must be pretty special in her eyes too. You not do that with just any boy.

Talk again soon and things are looking up. Thinking about that awesome delectable girl makes everything up!

Bye for now

Radley