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Parenting and Spanking

Spanking my kids

Posted by R.J. on 2016-12-21 02:24:06

Hi Radley,

I suspect you're old enough to know better than just drop & leave a jacket on the floor and mom apparently knew you were old enough too. If parents bought the jacket for you, that wasn't very considerate or responsible act on your part. Were you trying to test mom's patience initially? Sounds like you 'recovered' well however and for that I commend you.

Parents don't really enjoy lecturing or punishing. I was a boy too once and as a teen it often seems 'kool' to challenge or test a parent's rules or as my dad often said 'my attitude.' Do your parents use spanking (or whatever the current term for teens now is when you get your bottom smacked) still as a frequent method of punishment? I think it was around age 11/12 when mom thought it more appropriate and effective to just ground me to my room 'too think!!' and wait until my dad got home. My dad was always the 'spanking disciplinarian' from young boy up until age 16 but there was a dreaded wait when sent to my room by mom to await my dad. Had you not handled the jacket situation as well as you did, do you think mom would've punished you or turn you over to your dad to be punished?

Enjoyed reading your message. It is interesting to hear that some parents still use CP as a punishment in an age now when spanking has lost a great deal of it's social acceptance and some parents worry what others will think/say if they found out they still spanked their kids. In my career with young offenders, I see so many young men who lacked discipline growing up and wouldn't now be in trouble with the law or incarcerated in a youth or young adult facility had there been parental guidance when younger or for boys, a strong dad/male figure in their young life.

Have a Merry Christmas...

Rick

Posted by radleyradley on 2016-12-23 11:11:35

Hello Rick

That is right I am old enough to know better than just drop jacket on the floor and leave it there and mum knew I was old enough too. I am also old enough to know the house rules. There are not many but number one is that if mum tells you to do something she only has to tell you once. I do not need to try to test mums patience. That happens anyway. You say I recovered well. I say I thought picking it up would be better than being spanked.

Spanking, although in England we usually call it beating is not often needed but is something we need to be aware of. We get more discipline from mum because she is at home more. If I had not picked up the jacket when mum challenged me I am sure she would have punished me. She spanks hard and does not often need to turn things over my dad. Defiance in the face of parental authority is never a good idea. I thought it would be better to give in and admit I knew the rule and was going to follow it rather than leave mom reaching for the hairbrush. You say that boys need a strong male figure in our lives. In our house mum does a pretty good job of parental guidance when we are in danger of going astray. Dad is there, but has to be pretty serious before she involves him

You too have a Merry Christmas and we will chat in 2017

Radley

Posted by Jonathan Cool 13 on 2016-12-23 18:05:57

Hello Mr. Rick, thanks a lot for your kind and wise words, believe me I really appreciate them and always try to learn from what adults tell.

Yeah, though I've never thought on it before, I suppose that parents learned to spank when they were children without knowing it, like going to a second school but without you being who's sat on the chair hahaha. I wonder if when I grow up I'll remember how it felt when my bum was punished while I'm punishing my own child's bum...

Sure, boy briefs don't help you too much to resist the force of parental spanks (and yesterday while I was getting dressed to go out with mum for shopping she reconfirmed it to me), but yeah at least keeping them up saved me from feeling that cold air when mum hooks her fingers in the waistband of my dear undies and pulls them down. Though mum has seen me nude before and actually I get more worried for what comes next for my backside than for what she may see in front. Don't get me wrong though.

I'm not specially bad at school, I do some pranks or get in little troubles from time to time like any normal boy, but I'm not a bully or one of these crazy kids out of control. Also my grades are usually good, though sometimes I've my downs. In relation to school my parents spank me if the misbehavior or the bad grade is the result of a deliberated act of naughtiness. In that case yes I get not only a spanking with the hand but also with the belt. Oh yeah I'm so happy to not being at school in those really hards times for children's bums! haha.

It feels quite weird being there while one of your buddies is getting a spanking. One part of me feels so sorry for the poor boy who's crying while his defenseless little tail is punished by his parent, but at the same time... well, don't know how to explain it, but it also feels like "Oh look/listen that! go sir/ma'am, spank that naughty little boy harder! yes he has been very naughty and deserves a good spanking!, hey sir/ma'am don't forget that part of his bum, want my belt?, want my help?!" hahaha. And yep, I know they feel and think exactly the same when is me the boy who's crying and with a flaming bum! hahaha.

Bye, enjoy a lovely Christmas and I hope you're also in Santa's bi boy good list!

Posted by R.J. on 2016-12-31 00:49:46

Hi Radley...let me first of all wish you a Happy New Year.

If not testing mum's patience, then why? If it's a good jacket and one you like and even you admit to be old enough to know better, then the jacket hitting the floor is somewhat senseless unless you were waiting to see how long it would take for mum to react. Saying you recovered well was I guess an intended compliment. As a teen I think we've all done things without thinking and then like a 'light bulb going on' we catch ourselves and recover wondering why we did it!! Do you think your mum would actually go that far as to spank for a careless jacket drop on the floor?

So the more common word in England is 'beating' when a parent smacks!! Is that a term that develops as one gets older or even little guys say beating rather than I got a spanking? I recall in my day it wasn't 'kool' to say spanking once you got around age 10/11. Different terms like: busted, tanned, paddled replaced being spanked and those who's dad used the belt usually called it getting whipped. Does the term 'beating' refer to smacks on the butt/bum rather than slaps to the face or a rap across the hands? Maybe parents in England don't slap hands/face??

Is the hairbrush the most common punishment method in England? I've read that a flexible slipper or the cane or the leather belt/strap were frequently used when the schools were still permitted to use CP and by many parents too at home. I wasn't trying to imply that moms were weak or ineffective upholding rules or giving a punishment but rather dads, especially with boys once they get around 12+ in age, dreaded and listened closer to warnings from their dad rather than mom and also around that age, boys went to dad more often for personal male-like questions and guidance as they transition from boy to young man. I had and always will have a great respect for moms. If your mum is then the primary disciplinarian in your house, has there been times when mum told dad, after punishing you, thinking it serious enough for him to know and dad punished you too?

Thanks for sharing your thought. Hope your Christmas was a good one and yes, if you have questions or further thoughts to share, we can do that in 2017.

Rick

Posted by R.J. on 2016-12-31 01:29:00

Hi Jonathan and I too appreciate your words and though I would want your mom and dad to be the primary adults for advice, if I've shared a thought or answered a question that you learned something from, that pleases me. In my career working with young offenders, I often find some were too embarrassed to ask their mom or dad something but me as a counselor and outsider, they opened up to ask and maybe learn something they were curious to know. I suspect most parents and grandparents were still from a generation when spanking was more frequently used and so that was a learning that they processed and were familiar with in raising their own children. Do you expect as a parent later in your life that spanking will still be in use as a punishment and you might use it with your child(ren)? No doubt you will remember a spanking you might have gotten (there is always likely 1-2 we got that were hard to forget) and then realize how much it hurt your dad's heart to spank you as it will then hurt your heart to spank your young one.

I suspect from your words that mum can still effectively punish you when she has to, but by your age, it's probably easier to face dad rather than your mum if the waistband of your undies are being pulled down. Are you saying you provoked your mum before that shopping outing that she needed to smack the seat of your undies to get your attention?

Good grades and overall good behavior at school...you say you don't bully or act crazy or out of control at school...probably never has advanced to the level where you were deliberately naughty. My school days were not really hard times but the school did punish when necessary and sometimes it got your backside smacked, but the more dreaded was the note or call to our parents. The paddle at school was effective but the belt on bare hide at home more impressive. So has your dad given you that 'flaming bum' feeling in front of or with a good buddy hearing? It was a little weird having a classmate there both times I got the paddle at school since it was always just dad & I behind closed door at home, but maybe made it some bit easier with someone else my age there getting his bottom smacked too. I know you are joking when you say...want my belt/want my help?...but you and buddies ever engage in a for-fun game where a loser gets the belt or a smack on his bum?

My Christmas was a good one for me and the family and hope you and your family enjoyed the holiday too. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. May 2017 be good too.

Rick