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Parenting and Spanking

Think You Were Too Old

Posted by roger21 on 2016-10-09 15:04:35

Hi R.J.

The most common offence when I was 15 and 16 would have been getting home late in the evenings. That would have been followed closely by getting bad grades at school. D's and F's were a certain. An F at school also meant a caning at school. Sometimes even a C was considered bad enough for 'some attention catching', as my dad said. My last caning was for getting a C grade in physics when I was 18.

Letting my room get into a mess and not tidying it up when told to do so would also earn me a spanking.

And of course the one which seems to cover just about everything 'bad attitude'!

Spankings were always on the bare bottom and my mom always used a belt though I don't know if dad told her to. My last spankings from dad were with a cane.

roger

Posted by erik2000erik200 on 2016-10-09 23:50:23

Hi Rick,

You were lucky that spankings stopped at 16. My mother told me that I will get spanked until 18. I always get my spankings naked to make it more painful. The cane is really much worse than the belt. I just got the belt today for a bad grade,

Posted by R.J. on 2016-10-12 23:55:51

Hi Roger,

What you describe probably fits most teenagers and yes, it can be summed up often as bad attitude. My dad used that term ATTITUDE with me and my behavior starting around age 11. He drilled a few holes in that homemade paddle to certainly get my attention when tanning my butt, and probably could've imprinted the words "Attitude Adjuster" since part of his lecture on my behavior included something like...boy I'm going to adjust your attitude.

I was a pretty good student both in academics and school behavior. Guess that is why the principals only needed to paddle my bottom twice in all 12 years of school. My parents never set a grade requirement but emphasized that I was always expected to do my best. If I was struggling in a school subject, they would work with me to help better understand my assignments and tutor my homework when needed. Math in high school was difficult for me, but important if I was to go on to college, so they even got an after-school tutor to work with me for awhile. I never faced punishment over grades, unless I neglected to do assignments.

I would certainly pity you and your poor backside then if you got an "F" on something. If school caned the seat of your trousers and then mom/dad took you bare bottom once home for the belt or cane, I suspect you would avoid trying to sit for a day or two. Hope there were not many of those F's!!

RJ

Posted by R.J. on 2016-10-13 00:10:34

Erik,

Yes, in many ways I was fortunate. Most fortunate in having great parents who offered an open-line of communication between us on any subject I wanted to bring up. Fortunate that they cared enough to correct my behavior when needed. In my career, I've worked with many young offenders who got into trouble with the law & it cost them in many cases their education and ultimately they ended up in a youth detention center, or worse, in prison. Young lives messed up when a few spanks on their bottom as a kid or adolescent could've set them straight.

My dad never saw the need to strip me totally naked, when it was my bottom that he intended to spank. It was fortunate too that it was my dad and not my mom in those teenage belt whippings on the bare butt. Sure, my mom had seen my bottom since the day I was born but what teenager wants to be butt-naked in front of mom??

Though I never felt the effects of a cane, I'll take your word that it is worse than a leather belt. Was that recent bad grade a result of neglect in studying on your part or just struggling in a school subject? Hope the belt-to-bare was from dad!!

Rick

Posted by Dave2015 on 2016-10-28 11:55:57

Hello Analee and RV, I agree with both of you. I have the four steps also and agree each step is equally important. I have 2 daughters, 15 and 12 and a son, 9. Anticipating is key to ensure the punishment is effective. I tell all 3 of my children when they have "earned" a spanking. It may not be done right then and there but they know soon that they will receive one that day. I feel this gives them time to think and reflect on what they have done that has earned them the soon to be spanking. They can think over the choices and decisions they have made that were wrong. I feel this is very important so they can learn from the experience. Next step is humiliation. I don't like to say humiliation as I'm not trying to humiliate them as much as I want te process to be humbling for them. They are under my responsibility and this so under my control. They've lost their freedom for the time being, they will be told what to do and how to do it and follow my directions exactly as I say. When it is time for the spanking, it's done hate bottom. Take my oldest as example, she's told what the spanking is for, what she did wrong. I tell he to come over to me, st and in front of me. I have her take off whatever clothing below her waist. I tell her to remove pants, jeans, shorts whatever and have HER hand them to me. I think having her do this is key. Next I tell her the underwear comes off, again, I have her hand them to me. I fold up each piece of clothing neatly and set it off to the side. This delays the procedure and gives a minute for her to think during each step. Next I have her hand me a towel, one she'll lay across on my lap. I also use a "pee" pillow for between their legs. The girls have a tendency to pee during the spanking, more so than my son but the steps are the same for my daughters as well as my son. Next I have them lay down over my lap. I tell them to spread their legs slightly and I place the small pillow between their legs. This prevents me from getting too messy if they do happen to urinate during the spanking and also keeps their legs slightly apart so I can access their bottoms easily. I spank most of the time with just my hand, sometimes, depending on severity of the infraction, I may use a plastic "spanking" spatula that we have. This is only used for spanking, not cooking! I give between 10 and 20 smacks. My younge daughter and son usually get the lesser amount. My 15year old gets the larger amount of smacks as her transgression are usually worse and more severe. After the deed has been done, they are allowed to stand up again. I hand them back each piece of clothing they took off one at a time. Ie., the panties first, then the pants. After that, they are sent to their room to reflect on what happened. No toys, no music, no tv, no tablet, just sit or lay in silence for a couple of hours. I do this as a loving father. I take no pleasure in disciplining my children, in fact I despise having to do this as they are no longer "my little angels" at the moment. I discipline with the idea and goal to teach my children proper adult behaviors with the goal of giving them the attitude and thought processes they'll need in adulthood. I'm always sorry I have to spank but that's a part of parenting and a part of them learning as try grow. To not discipline my children would be doing them and society a great disservice in my opinion. I hope I am raising them properly and with the right sense of self discipline. Dave