User: SW1

Wetgalfan, i completely respect your and your wife's decision. The key point about any exploration of domestic or family discipline is that it has to be completely consensual. The limits of the spankee must be totally respected at all times. Of course, these limits or boundaries may expand over time...or they may not.

In my case (and i think i am the one whose adventures JAS1 has studied in detail!), i decided not to submit to family discipline for the first five years of marriage (despite agreeing to it when we were engaged). No-one coerced me or spanked me (or other things) against my will. But different individuals and families are different. i married into my Husband's family because i knew that deep down that was what i needed and wanted. In another family (like JAS1's?) i would have been frustrated and angry at being told that who i was and what i needed were just wrong and i should grow up.

But i took things Very slowly for a long time, and everyone respected that.

Good luck!

lucy

At least as far as DILs are concerned, you are not alone. My sisters-in-law and i all receive regular spankings (me more than most!) from our MIL, who is recognized as the family disciplinarian. We all get spanked by our Husbands but for serious matters we are sent to MIL. She is much stricter, always uses the cane, and punishment does not turn into fun...at least until we are safely home with our Husbands!

Many, many other DILs are under their in-laws' discipline in this way. It makes for a more harmonious marriage, with fewer arguments and better sex.

For polls that I or my MIL or SIL have set up on this issue, see:

http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/327222/results

http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/327224/results

http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/251487/results

http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/356747/results

I think it is rarer for sons-in-law to be punished this way, but i have known a couple. I hope your MIL's discipline makes you a better husband and son-in-law, and helps you correct your faults.

lucy

My Husband has spanked me since we were engaged. As His mother says--she has also been spanking and caning me as needed over the last couple of years--without discipline i am proud, even arrogant (blush!), disrespectful, disobedient, and even dishonest. The spankings i get from my Husband and His mother help me be a better wife and daughter-in-law. They have reduced fights and arguments to zero, and created harmony (and a great sex life!) in our marriage and in the extended family of FIL, MIL, BILs, and SILs.

Yes spanking hurts and is embarrassing, but it brings out the true submissive side of me that my job suppresses. i feel it liberates an important part of me and afterward i feel cleansed, loved, safe, and secure. And Very grateful to my spanker. As we say in the family expression, it is what i desperately need and richly deserve.

If your wife would like to discuss this more in private, she is very welcome to e-mail me lucy07sw@yahoo.com where the that is a zero before the 7, not a letter.

lucy

Hi Fiona

That is so interesting that your husband would report you to your own Mum if you needed a caning. Mine reports me to His Mum, who lives nearby and is very skilled and forceful with the cane! My own Mum knows that i am caned when i deserve it and she heartily approves. Once she apologized for being too soft on me when i was a teenager, and said that if they had been stricter then i would not need my Husband's mother to deal with me now. She even told that to my MIL Kate and encouraged her to be firm with me and ignore my pleas for mercy. i stood there blushing furiously like a schoolgirl who is being talked about in her own presence. Anyway, Kate certainly took this permission and encouragement to heart!

By the way i smoked for a couple of years as a teen, but i got away with it--unfortunately, as i now see it. If i had been caught early and dealt with severely, i would have stopped smoking sooner and with less risk of damaging my health. Of course my Husband does not allow me to smoke now (not that i even want to).

lucy

Hi Lizzie

It is embarrassing to discuss this but the short answer is yes, absolutely. It might help to understand the situation to know that i am the most educated and best paid member of the family. i have been trained to be sharp, quick, and assertive in argument, even downright aggressive at times. i had developed some very bad habits, including a tendency to snootiness (is that a word?), pride, arrogance, and rudeness. Kate and took an instant dislike to each other. She knew just how to provoke me and i would even swear at her at times, even calling her a "stupid f----g bitch" in front of other family members from the English side of FIL's family at a wedding in England.

Something had to change and my SILs had a serious talk to me about it. i realized i was the one who needed to change and eventually, after a poll on here, i submitted to family discipline. i had some entrenched habits that needed to be replaced with good habits of humility, obedience, respect, and honesty. Once i decided in my head that i would submit to the family and to Kate in particular, things started to change. Not all at once, of course, and there have been many relapses. But especially since Kate took over the family discipline, we have come to understand and love each other and i have the greatest respect for her. She punishes me severely when i need it but i know it is out of love and for my own good.

i have learned that i am not any better than anyone else in the family and i need to learn and keep my place. Kate's discipline has helped me a better DIL, SIL, and wife. Her son, my Husband, and i have a much improved relationship and a wonderful sex life. Kate thinks He is too soft on me and she is right about that too. She knows what i need and deserve, and her punishments do not get sidetracked into lovemaking! So when i need a real punishment, my DH sends me to His mother to be dealt with.

i cannot speak for you, Lizzie, but i bet that if you made a list of your faults (including the irresponsibility and dishonesty that you revealed here) and gave it to your mother, she could help you with them and make you a better person, daughter, and mother. Not a painless process (lol) but definitely beneficial!

i hope that answers your question, Lizzie.

Good luck!

lucy