User: SteveAtSchool

Hi Claire,

I can see how unfair it is. Girls have a choice of what to wear, and your mum is not giving you that choice. That's not fair. You want to fit in and wear what the other girls wear because trousers are fashionable for girls right now. But it's not as if there's anything wrong with wearing a skirt, so why don't you stand up for yourself and tell them where to get off if they don't like it.

There are plenty of reasons to enjoy wearing a skirt, and I'm saying you can find those reasons and feel that in some ways, you're better off than the other girls. Trousers are not the holy grail of comfort, especially when you're forced to wear them for your whole life.

Boys have no choice, and for the ones who want to wear skirts, they can't even plead to their mum because it's against the school rules. When they get older they can't plead to their bosses at work either, or (very often) to their wives or their girlfriends, or the clubs they belong to.

In the meantime you can plead with your mum, and you'll be fine even if it doesn't work out exactly as you want it. As soon as you're out of school, in the evenings and for the rest of your life, you can wear whatever you like. Your situation is unfair for sure, and I do sympathise. But I think you could use this experience to get a small understanding of how those boys feel. Their situation is 10 times more unfair than yours.

Steve

========== In Reply To ========== Hi Steve

thanks for the reply - I'll ask, but the problem came about this summer when I went into the sixth form and my sister made a fuss that she wouldn't be able to wear trousers and I could. Mum isn't particularly old-fashioned but thought that my sister had a fair point. I tried to persuade her - i was really upset - but that's what hapenned. But its not mildly annoying, it's really unfair - you're not a girl so you don't understand.

Sarah-Claire

Hi Sarah-Claire,

Ask your mum if your sister will still have to wear skirts after you've left school, because then she'll be the only one wearing them there aswell.

As it is, she's heaping problems onto both you and your sister. If you were allowed to wear trousers in the 6th form, you would be happier and your sister would have something to look forward to.

But is that your mum's real reason, or is there something she's not telling you? I wonder, because it sounds quite silly. Maybe she's just be obstinately old-fashoned? (Old-fashioned parents should be banned!)

At least you can take some comfort in knowing partly how some of the boys feel, who want to wear skirts. They are forced to wear trousers, not just at school, but also at home and wherever they go, and then at work throughout their lives. A lot of the time they don't even get the support of their mates. Your situation sounds mildly annoying, but not that bad :)

Steve

========== In Reply To ========== HELP!!!!! i'm really hacked off with skirts because i'm about the only girl in our sixth form who wears one. Our school lets sixth former wear trousers as part of their unirorm which is cool, but my mum won't let me do so because she says its not fair on my sister, who is 15 and so has to wear a skirt.

Any old skirt isn't allowed, either, if I 'choose' to wear skirts rather than trousers I have to stick with the same navy blue pleated variety that younger girls wear because that's part of uniform. It's really humiliating when all your friends wear trousers and you can't, and worst of all, because I don't want to admit that this is my mum's fault, and that I don't have any say, I have to pretend that I prefer to waar skirts because I they make me feel prettier and more feminine. Yuk - how can i persuade my mum to change her mind????

Sarah-Claire

I hear what you're saying - that boys and girls are basically different. That may be true, but only of the stereotypes - the perfectly feminine girl, or the perfectly masculine boy. There are many girls who are more comfortable and smarter in trousers, and many boys who are more comfortable and smarter in skirts.

Many of the boys won't own up to that today, just as many women wouldn't admit to liking trousers in the 1930s. But given a fair opportunity and an equal choice, most of them would eventually wear them just as girls wear trousers today.

It is unfair to force rules designed for stereotypes, onto every individual. By your reasoning, women would still be confined to the home all day (those jobs have evolved for them, right? - how is that any different) - but in reality, only some women are suited to that. Men would still be working in hard labour jobs - but in reality, only some men are suited to that. Some women are very good at hard labour, and some men are very good home-makers.

Perhaps you are a typical male who looks good in trousers and does a manual job, then good for you. But people come in all different shapes and sizes, and likes and dislikes, regardless of their sex. If you want to celebrate that diversity, you won't achieve it by binding people into fixed stereotypes, and churning them out as a one-size-fits-all.

Steve

========== In Reply To ========== Males and Females have always dressed differently throughout history. The debate is based in the premise that trousers are superior to skirts and that a uniform policy that stipulates that girls cannot wear trousers is seen as discriminatory. Contributors have argued that dress code policies are also discriminatory against boys, although I have never met a boy who would willingly turn up to school in a skirt! I would like approach this from an alternative angle.

A strong argument for school uniforms is for students to look smarter that will hopefully reflect on their studies. Where I work there are three secondary schools, two allow girls to wear trousers whilst the other has a skirts only rule. At the latter school the students look smarter and their examination results are superior. Unfortunately many teenage girls do not look smart in trousers and would look far neater in a skirt. Clothes have evolved over time because of the differing physical attributes of each of the sexes.

The differences between the sexes should be encouraged, not suppressed in the name of equality. Of course women should have equal rights on the real important matters such as employment and property ownership. Unless there are reasons of Health and Safety dress code polices should not be viewed as means of discrimination but as a celebration of our differences.

Sincere apologies for that outburst, it was written in anger and not directed against anyone in particular.

My meaning was this: If you can teach people that anyone can be fit and healthy no matter what their size or shape you'll have my undying support for ever. But I think you're drawing lines in the sand to stop the tide.

Steve

I'm a mid-30s guy. I can do 50 miles on a bicycle over a mountain range, swim a mile, walk 15 miles, do 30 push-ups and run a few miles. I'm a fairly tough cookie. So, am I a stunning musclebound athlete? Nah. I'm a 10-stone 6-foot beanpole with asthma. People who don't know me assume I'm really weak, just because of my physique. Yeah right!

Steve