User: daddyjayce

But what happens to you if you spank them when they don't deserve it, Danny?

There were really three big differences in how my mom and dad (and step-dad)spanked. (My dad and step-dad spanked very similiarly, except for position they both used the belt and almost? always bare). The first difference is that mom usually spanked on my underwear, and only spanked bare if I was in real trouble. The second is that, using a flyswatter, she gave a WHOLE lot more spanks than dad(s) ever did. The difference between the belt and the flyswatter is that the flyswatter stung pretty bad, but you'd feel the marks from that belt for hours (or days, if you were in real trouble). Finally, I got my last whipping at 15. At that point, Mom hadn't given me a real spanking in years.

Jayce

I usually spank my boys in private, but not always. When 2 or more boys get in trouble together, I will usually make them share the punishment. The idea is that they should be helping each other stay out of trouble, not getting each other into it. Of course, I only have boys right now, so it's a slightly different situation. I have known families where spanking was done in the living room, even in a mixed gender situation, and I think that is going to far.

When I do spank more than one child in the same session, whether it's privately or now, I always go with the younger or smaller child (or company) first. My feeling is that it's easier to get it over with than have to wait; yet, I've seen a number of instances where it seems like the oldest child is punished first. Does anyone know about, or have opinions about, that?

I am a father, an adoptive father, and a foster father. I currently have a number of boys living in my home, from 6 to 22. (6,8,9.9.10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,22 - the 15 and 18 year olds actually live with their moms and I have visitation with them). OF the oldest 4, I have only spanked one of them in nearly 2 years, tho he's received it about 3 times in that period. Usually, once a boy hits 16 (as soon as he receives his driver's licence), I rarely spank them. Instead, they loose driving priveleges. Only if they get in trouble again, while grounded, do they get spanked, and then it's bent over with a school paddle or strapped.

Actually, of the 4 oldest boys, it's not the 16 year old that's been spanked recently. His last one was the week after Christmas, '05. I really do work with the boys and try to avoid spanking them, if they try to behave. It's my personal belief that a child's (at least a boy's) need for spanking peaks at 12, then quickly drops off to nothing, in most cases. I think that's because they are beginning to think of themselves as grown up, and should be beginning to receive more freedom and independence, and they often push that. Once they get it thru their heads and harmones that they still have to follow the rules, they seem to settle down quickly.

I own my own business and am succesful enough that I can usually be home with my kids. That makes my house a mecca for latchkey kids. I don't even know how many kids I have permission to spank these days, but it's more than a few. Part of that's because I'm active in my community. Part of it's because, when the boys make a new friend, I make a point of inviting their parent(s) over so we can meet each other. Even if their parent(s) and I don't have a lot of common interest, at least they know I'm interested in their child and willing to help out with them.

I believe in spanking bare bottom for several resaons. First, a spanking is suppossed to hurt (not do damage, but cause pain), so it seems silly to let the child have protection during the spanking. Next, especially because I sometimes spank my kid's friends and have new foster kids, I think it's wise to spank bare because you can see what you are doing. Once, I had a boy who was particularly shy, so I let him keep a pair of red colored briefs on when I spanked him (he was a friend of my youngest - at that time - brother, so I spanked Ben seperately, since Ben still got it bare). Later, Ben told me that his friend's butt was black and blue. Finally, I think that spankings work because they have two seperate effects: they are painful and embarrassing. For a little kid, the pain and fear is pretty much all of the spanking. By the time a kid's in his teens, he doesn't like the pain, but is humiliated that he's being 'treated like a kid'. Obviously, taking the kids shorts down increases it's effectiveness here, also.

Finally, I prefer otk, because it offers more control. Since Marcus is now 6'1" (nearly 3" taller than me), we usually put him on the bed. I also like the physical contact with otk, especially because it lets me immediattely pull the boy to sitting in my lap, so I can hug him as soon as the spankings over, before he goes to the corner. Likewise, I prefer some type of paddle (or brush), both because it seems to work best in the position in which I prefer to spank and because it's much easier to control where they land than with a belt. That doesn't mean I haven't used other instruments, that's just my preference. I gave my first real spanking when baby-sitting my little bros when I was 12, and over 30 years now, I've tried a lot of different instruments and positions.

I think that's all the questions. If I missed anything, or if someone wants more details, let me know.

Jayce

Bedwetting isn't the problem, but first, you didn't really provide enough information.

The most important thing is, you didn't mention your gender of that of the children. I think that as the kids get older (especially the 12 year old), they deserve a certain amount of modesty from the oppossite sex. Also, I'm surprised you have to diaper the older kids, because GoodNites are very easy to slip on.

Please remember that bedwetting can be a genetic problem with several routes. I had a problem with it until I was about 11 and I got it from two sources. In my mom's family, it seems to be passed down from the women to their male children, as is passed down from male to male in my dad's family. On mom's side, I can think of 2 cousins who had the same problem, on dad's side, there's me, my half-brother,and all 3 of our sons.

The real problem you have is with the discipline issues. If you have been given permission to spank, do it. As the kids get older, they require more of a spanking for two reasons. First of all, they're bigger and tougher, so will need more to get thru to them. In the second place, they, unlike their younger siblings, are probably being deliberately naughty and so need something to help them remember the rules.

I don't believe in spanking kids younger than about 5, tho I will give them a swat if they're doing something that might be dangerous (including possible breakage). At 5 and 6, I spank bare, but I use a flyswatter or very light weight paddle (like a paddle-ball paddle of paint stirrer). Around 8 or so, depending upon their size, I switch to my hand. By the time they hit 11 or 12, I have gone from using some type of paddle on rare occassions to using it all the time. I don't have any girls right now (I raise foster kids and they're all boys right now, since my actual kids are also all boys), but have cared for girls. Primarily, I always let a girl leave her panties on, and just spank a little harder to make up for it.