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Not quite Life or Death, still...

Hi! Me again! This time I want to know what people would do in the situations below... An extended what if sort of deal. By the way, this is just for FUN! F.U.N. don't take it too seriously! Enjoy! TLM
You're sitting at the dinner table with your in-laws/lovers/parents/etc. and you feel something feeling it's way up your leg. What do you do?
Assume it's your wife/lovers foot and smile
Look under the table to see what it is,then hit it
Make a small groaning sound, and stomp it to death
Get excited and immediately pass wind, loudly
Smile at everyone, then silently freak out
I have no in-laws
I have no legs
I refuse to answer your ridiculous questions!
Say Y2K happened the way most people thought it would, and you're stuck in your house all the food is gone and all you're left with is a few household items. My question is: (To keep yourself from starving) What would you eat first?
Your Partner/Anyone you lived with
The dust from the vacuum cleaner bag
Your computer (You won't need it)
Yourself (Survivor Type anyone?)
One can of cat food (The fish and then some kind)
The Cat
I'm a level 5 Vegan
These questions are absurd, I won't answer them!
Seven circus midgets confront you in the street and ask you if you've happened upon Snow White recently You:
Go into convulsions due to repressed childhood memories
Start laughing and look for hidden cameras
Politely say no, then feel lucky to have met such wonderful people
Politely say no, then commit yourself in the nearest sanitarium
Say yes and show them to the nearest library
Kidnap them all and hold them for ransom
Now your questions are distasteful as well!
You meet an old man who (for no apparent reason) offers to swap you his walking stick for your jacket. You:
Accept his offer seeing as you respect your elders
Decline the offer as you have four sticks already
Accept, then beat him down with the stick
Take the stick and do something "unsavoury"with it
Pretend not to have heard him and walk away
Laugh loudly hoping to insult the geezer
Your questions sicken me!
For the sake of science (read: space-filling)
Do not press this button
You find a poll that begins asking stupid "what-if" questions, You:
Answer each one as truthfully as possible
Lie your *** off (BUSTED!)
Select stupid answers, trying to be funny
Create another poll to spite it
Make small groaning noises in a fit of ecstasy
You and your poll can go to hell!!! Blasphemer!!!
A small spot of self-advertising: Have you tried the "The size that counts" poll?
Yes
No (Do so IMMEDIATELY!)
P.O.L.L.? What the...?
I've had it with you and your poll! I'm going home
I know I've dragged it on (thank you for coming this far) but this time I want some feedback OK? the address is just below this. So, last question, will you give me some feedback?
Yes(I would love to)
No (screw you, buddy)
Yes but it will include obscenities,large and many
No but Ill give you the finger next time I see you
Enough with the friggin questions already, fool
This poll was created on 2002-10-14 02:14:06 by The Laughing Man