Bach's Complete Waste of Time

First some info about you: Your name is:

Where do you live?

What vehicle do you drive?

How is your oral health?

Enough personal information. We have enough to take over your identity and make large purchases in your name. So, now for the general competency section: Situation: You are on the night shift in the city morgue (it doesnt matter what city. Fine, just say it's in Des Moine). The night has been pretty uneventful, but the horror movie you just watched before your shift isn't helping. You hear an extremely loud noise. You know that it cannot have been caused by any of the usual vermin knocking things over, because it has more of the qualities of a feast of the undead on the living; crunching, moaning, gurgles, ripping flesh, that sort of thing. What do you do?

Next situation: You are a billionaire. You achieved your fortunes by betraying those around you; but you now own a fleet of private jets, more factories than there are days in a leap year, you are surrounded by many beautiful women (or men), and you have a chair position in a chapter of the Iluminati. On a spur of the moment whim, you have your people find all the people you have cheated. The calculated expenses to pay them back would exceed your net worth. Do you do it anyway?

Last situation: Aliens have abducted you and shown you the future. Mankind is doomed, whether it be from overconsumption, natural disaster, invasion by another alien race, a massive plague, mass brain implosion, nuclear war, whatever. They offer you the chance to come with them and see the stars. The only drawback is you have to remove your brain and keep it in a jar by the viewport in their spaceship. Would you do it?

Ok, that's it for now. Check back later, and I'll have more questions proving people are stupid.