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Would you be an epic president? (very random)

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You are in an interview with a man who needs more details on your life to assess if you are eligible to run for presidency.
What is your name?
Zarbock
Boopy
Lietrienmiuent
Bobsponge
Pigslobdirtfat the third
They call me crusty, but I'm slimy.
My name is not listed here, but I smell like fresh poop.
I have amnesia and can't remember my name. I swear.
I am the prince of Taco Bell, who are you to ask MY name?
My name is made of numbers, my mom was a calculator. Its 80085.
My name is too inappropriate. I would probably get expelled if anyone knew my real name.
Well, that is a strange name...er... So, what makes you want to become president?
So I can win that $5 bet
I just lost my job as a janitor
So I can pardon all the criminals
I like to treat people like my cat.
Mickey Mouse told me to at 3 am last night
In my alphabet cereal it said "become president or else"
Don't presidents have free ice-cream in the whitehouse?
Because my name is funny and I want to see it on a billboard
I figured it would be easier than working with ronald mcdonald
So I can build a huge empire and eventually take over the world.
Wow, I've never heard that before. I need to do a background check. How was your childhood?
*fart*
I have a similar situation to Tarzan.. if that helps...
I spent my youth perfecting the art of bomb-making.
Yes I was in a child hood, but we weren't that violent
What childhood? I was in my mothers womb for 40 years
Well I'm actually still in my childhood. I have manchild disease
I spent 5 years of it as a rabbit, my dad is a licensed brain-switcher.
I was a perfect child. Except for the murders, but you know, mostly normal.
It was okay until at the age of 10 when I became enlisted in the Mcdonalds mafia
I was extremely popular as a child. All 50 of my imaginary friends knew me very well.
Oh. Well then- here's the next question. What would make people vote for you?
I can roll my tongue.. and...
How the heck would I know??
I can sing and dance like a little swan
Well if the people want a terrible leader, here I am!
I promise to be the weirdest wackjob the world has ever seen.
I'm only going to be president.. I don't need a reason why
So I can raise their self esteem by seeing me everyday on TV
I actually plan on getting the animal vote, they are quite fond of me.
If they vote for me I will think happy thoughts, and I won't send them to the cornfield.
The mental health hospital needs no reason to vote for me, so why should anyone else?
You are quite possibly the most deranged....*ahem* next question: What would be your victory speech?
"If you fail, try again. Too bad though"
"I like to think of myself as a winner. Too bad it isn't true"
"I have a dream. But it was a nightmare, and it's coming true."
"...*fart*........................................................................................................."
"I strongly advise someone make a wikipedia on how to become a president. Thank You."
"I h-h-h-have a s-s-st-st-st-studd-studdering pro-pro-problem. c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-crap"
"You elected me as president? ME? Why would you do something like that! Shame on you!"
"Hello! I am pleased to be here today to recognize the beginning of the end of our world..."
"I actually forgot to write a speech, so Im gonna totally bullcrap it just to let you guys know..."
"Great people of a country, you all live and eat and poop, and so do I, we have so much in common"
I don't think you're eligible to run for presidency. Any last words?
You are a manbearpig.
nope, I'm totally fine with that.
Did you know that I'm actually a woman?
You may have just saved thousands of lives.
I'll always be president in my mind. Yes, yes thats right.
Well, I guess i'll go back to my old profession of cat massaging..
Would I get in trouble if I slapped you, but I said sorry afterwards?
Excuse me but can I expose myself for just a minute? I didn't wipe thoroughly enough
I think you didn't like me because I have a zit farm on my forehead, was that distracting?
I'm going to run anyway. If I'm elected I'm going to change your legal name to fecal matter.
Wow. You completely changed my mind. You are a witty, persuasive man. I like that! In fact, I'm going to vote for you in the upcoming election. How does that sound? Mr. perfect?
put away the gun your pointing at him
This poll was created on 2008-05-01 05:32:03 by Jake H