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Cheating -- Do you think I am cheating?

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I am a woman 19 years old and I now have four occasional lovers. Two of these people are much older than I am. The other two are about my age. I have told only two of them of the others: the middle-aged people. But I don't trust the people my age with the information yet. The sex I have with all of them is clean and safe, so that is not the question. It is a question of morality and sympathy, I think. I don't have intercourse or oral sex with any of them --yet. The question is about right and wrong and what I should do. Am I cheating if I keep the others a secret? I don't think so because I am not committed and have not said, "I love you," nor can all people be trusted with the secret, trusted not to gossip or to anger. Furthermore, I don't ask about their affairs, why should they know about mine? If they ask me, I'll tell them and not lie. But they have not asked nor made a move towards commitment. I did at one time, towards the young man, but was rejected. I'd love to read your longer messages and comments if you can possibly find time to write them.
Have you had two or more lovers during the same period of time (I'm not talking about threesomes, etc.)
Yes
No
Did you try to tell both of them or only one of them about the other?
I tried to tell both.
Only one; the other was my secret.
Why did you tell either of them about the other?
It was the right thing to do.
It was convenient.
Because I felt guilty.
Because they had a right to know.
To keep the one or ones I told at a distance.
To bring the ones I told closer to me.
To make them jealous.
To manipulate them.
To make them choose what to do.
To clarify our relationship.
To give them the opportunity of dropping me.
Did one or both of them "take it hard" or get jealous?
Yes
No
If you did not inform the others, why didn't you?
I was afraid of gossip.
I wanted to manipulate them.
I was afraid they'd drop me.
I was afraid of hurtiing one or both of them.
I wanted to hurt one or both of them.
I was afraid of angry arguments and jealousy.
I was afraid they'd talk and get me into trouble.
I like keeping secrets.
If you didn't tell them, did they find out anyway?
Yes
No
When you told one or both, what did they do?
They didn't mind.
They got indignant and angry. (Even if only one of them...)
They moralized.
They tried to get back at me.
They dropped me.
I think it excited them.
It helped the relationship(s).
Did you consider yourself "cheating" for not telling one or all of them?
Yes, but I did it anyway.
No, because I was being kind.
Yes, and it taught me a lesson.
Yes, and I would never do that again.
No, because I had to do it that way.
No, I was not committed to any of them.
No, I wasn't married and I could deceive them if I chose to.
Yes, which is why I told them. I wanted two or more lovers.
No, I enjoyed it but it was too much trouble.
Has anyone done this to you?
Yes
No
Fundamentally, how did you react
Jealousy.
Anger.
Disappointment.
Indifference.
Pleasure--I wanted to get rid of one or more of them.
Will you please write a message telling me about what you did or what someone else did to you and give details so that I may learn from your experience?
Yes.
No.
This poll was created on 2006-03-22 18:20:52 by Patricia Bmly