"How ironic. Two more days and I would have completed my tunnel."
"I know a little German. He's sitting over there."
"Listen to me Hillary. I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist only to lose her to her childhood lover who she last saw on a deserted island who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French underground."
"Nick, I've tried everything: the embassy, the German government, the consulate. I even talked to the U.N. ambassador. It's no use, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm."
"In women's tennis, I always root against the heterosexual."
"If they find out you've seen this, your life will be worth less than a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory."
"We have a traitor in our midst." - "Well done, Latrine. I see that you have taken care of him appropriately." - "Not the bird, you fool! This is a carrier pigeon on its way to the German Headquarters."
"They're still working on him. He won't break. We've tried everything! Do you want me to bring out the Leroy Nieman paintings?"
"Very well, let me know if there is any change in his condition....He's dead"
"Nigel made me go back to the meter shed. He ordered me to set off the alarms." - "And what does he want us to do now?" - "Nothing you numbskull, Nigel's the traitor!"
