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Who Is Your Favorite Conservative?

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While all of us cherish every single person who describes themselves as a conservative, there are times when we conservatives need to know which one of us you like the best and why you love us so much. Please take a few minutes to let us know who is winning the popularity contest.
Which of the following conservatives is the most appealing to you?
George W. Bush
Dick Cheney
Adolf Hitler
Satan
Why is this person so appealing? (You may choose as many answers as you feel are correct.)
He is our leader.
He is the only person I trust to perpetuate evil.
He really knows how to support minorities.
He is smarter than God.
What makes a conservative appealing?
The appearance of ignorance.
A nice suit.
Lots of shouting in German.
Horns and a pointy tail.
What is the best way to express your appreciation of a conservative? (Again, choose as many as you wish.)
To not ask any questions when he makes your country look foolish.
To turn a blind eye to unethical business deals he has on the side.
To turn a blind eye while he commits genocide on a daily basis.
To pledge your immortal soul to him.
Have you ever considered that conservatives might not have the best interests of the American people, or any people, at heart?
No.
Definitely not.
Only a communist would suggest such a thing.
Of the conservatives listed above, which one would you vote for if they were both alive, visible on Earth, and able to run for office in 2008?
Bush
Cheney
Hitler
Beelzebub
If by some chance none of the above conservatives are listed on the ballot in 2008, which of the conservatives below will you vote for?
Tom DeLay
Bill Frist
Arnold Schwarzenegger
The maggot-riddled corpse of Idi Amin
Any one of Satan's attending demons.
I may vote for a liberal or perhaps a third party candidate. (INCORRECT ANSWER)
How can conservatives retain their power?
Ideological suppression.
Lots and lots of big ol' guns.
Graft and corruption.
Pacts with Satan.
The continued apathy of American citizens.
Free Miller Lite for everybody!
What power? They have power? I have been living under a rock since the 1970s.
Jihad.
What is your religion?
Right-wing Fundamentalist Terrorist Evangelical
Other
What is your age group?
18-25
26-35
36-45
Too old to matter since all you are doing is leeching money from Social Security.
Are you rich?
Yes, and I will send money to keep conservatives in power.
Yes, and I will use my money to prevent others from noticing conservative crime.
Yes, and I will keep every penny I have in the bank, watching it accrue massive amounts of interest, while people around me die of starvation and lack of health care.
No, and I do not matter.
Thank you for explaining what matters about us and what matters about you. Please choose one of the following benefits, which will be mailed to you shortly.
The undying gratitude of conservatives everywhere.
A plastic plaque engraved with the word "SUCKER."
A bill for the rapidly increasing national debt.
A thank you card for sending your child to die overseas.
A jar of spit.
This poll was created on 2005-06-14 02:26:29 by Dick Cheney