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More catfights.....!!! (round 1)

The year is 2004, New laws passed by a tyrant like government make channel hopping illegal, broken law punishable by only by death. Once you have chosen which channel to watch, you must stick with it. Obviously this means that choosing the right program is essential. You are looking through the TV guide one night, when you see this:

Another awards ceremony

Description ~ re-live the events from last year when several catfights broke out at an award ceremony

Being the pervert that you are, you instantly put that program on...
And now, to present the award for most repulsive female, please welcome a "man" who knows a lot about repulsive women....JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE! The mind numbing music hits as mr. rubbish himself takes to the stand "well, yeah, I did used to be shacked up with one repulsive girl all right" The crowd start to laugh as Britney looks on, fingers crossed. "And the winner, for most repulsive female is....Christina Aguilera!! Christina begins to walk to the stage, as an outraged Ms Spears decides that she should have won that award, Without warning Spears jumps onto the back of Christina, and begins to claw her eyes out, but who will be victorious?
Britney Spears
Christina Aguilera
Trouble begins to brew in the bad rapper section of the crowd as Dr Dre receives a cold, hard slap to the face from fellow bad rapper, Ja Rule. Acting on instinct, Dre instanly goes for Ja's hair, only to discover that Mr. Rule doesnt have any hair! laughing at Dre, Ja rule is caught off guard as Dre goes for the eyes! who will come out of this brutal brawl in one piece?
Dr Dre
Ja Rule
"I took time off from making bad movies for THIS!" Vin diesel complains to his agent on the phone "This is a sham!, Im going home!". Diesel starts to leave the arena, when he feels a tap on the shoulder "WHAT?!" an outraged Vin calls behind his shoulder "You think you're the only one who took time out from bad movies? huh?" an outraged Brendan Fraser tells Vin, as he punches him in the face. Vin begins to get to his feet as Brendan gives him a boot to the stomach. Who will be standing in the end?
Vin Diesel
Brendan Fraser
Eminem looks on as his other half, Dr Dre continues to scratch Ja's eyes out. "You think you're so cool with your bad music and bleached hair, dont'cha?" A womanly voice calls from behind "well guess what, your not the only one who can make people's ears bleed!" Eminem backs up as he realises the voice belongs to none other than Enya! "No, Enya please, dont hurt me!" Eminem pleads as Enya closes in....
Eminem
Enya
"What were we thinking?" Hugh Grant asks Julia Roberts in reference to the (s)hit film, Notting hill. "I dont know, but it was definatly your acting that ruined it" She replies "MY ACTING, At least I can act!" Grant replies childishly, "oh yeah, well act this!" Julia tells him, as her hand connects with his face. Who will win this sexy bout?
Hugh Grant
Julia roberts
"Hey timberlake" An outraged Ben Afleck calls to the rubbish pop singer, "you think you're the only one who got shacked up with a repulsive female?" "I...errr..." A scared Timberlake replies, Afleck comes in closer and gives Timberlake a roundhouse kick to the temple, Timberlake sprawls across the floor "I should've presented that award!!" Afleck shouts as he rips his T-shirt off, "As if Cry me a river wasnt bad enough, I gotta watch you present an award I should have presnted!" "I....I...I'm sorry Afleck, please dont hurt me again, I'll do anything" Suddenly, without warning Ms Lopez herself comes up behind Timberlake and plants a fist in his lower back....the fight continues, who wins?
Ben Afleck & Jennifer Lopez
Justin Timberlake
"Hmmm, nice hat" Says rubbish pop star, Avril Lavinge in reference the red hat on the floor "Dont mind if I do" she continues as she puts the hat on her head. From across the arena comes an irritating voice "Hey thats mine!" says an outraged Fred Durst "Give it back!" Avril smirks at him, "you'll have to fight me for it" Fred begins to walk forward, but suddenly stops "no, no, its ok, you keep it" he says in weasel like manner, "oh no, your not getting out of it that easily" Fred begins to run as Avril tackles him from behind, the two fight like alley cats, who comes out victorious?
Fred Durst
Avril Lavinge
"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!! I CANT TAKE IT ANY MORE!!, JUST SHUT UP!!" The insane clown posse stop with their inane babling, sorry, I mean music and look across the arena to find out who said that, Jackie Chan stands tall as the posse look on, "oh, we're sorry mr Chan, It wont happen again" A fraidy Violent J pleads, the rest of the posse join in "please forgive us Mr Chan, we're not worthy" Jackie Chan catches the first idiot in the head with a dragon kick as the rest try to escape, but the faster than lightning film star is way ahead of them, knocking the rest to the floor, he continues his asault, Who will be left standing?
Insane clown posse
Jackie Chan
The people's champion, the rock looks across the arena hmmm, I'd better start a fight, dont want to look like a wuss... thinks the rock, He looks across the room for a suitable opponent....Cher?....no, too tall....Mike Tyson?....ha! you must be joking.....Marilyn Manson?....no, he's got his hands full with Michael Bolton...Jennifer Aniston!, of course, she's evenly matched! The Rock sneaks up behind her, Rock style and delivers the Rock bottom, Aniston starts to get up..."No, it was a mistake, silly me" pleads the rock, "please forgive me" Aniston laughs as she delivers a fierce clothesline, the rock is sent flying, who will win?
Jennifer Aniston
The Rock
"Manson!" Cries Michael Bolton "I'v waited for this for a long time" Bolton closes in on a perplexed Marilyn Manson "no, im sorry Bolton, it wasnt my fault, I thought you were gay, its an easy mistake to make" Bolton doesnt listen and continues towards Manson, "Stick this in your pipe an smoke it" Bolton cries as his fist connects with Manson's face! Will Manson be victorious? or will he lose to that wuss, Michael Bolton? you decide!
Michael Bolton
Marilyn Manson
"ha! E.R. is the worst program on TV, by far!" says George Clooney, confidently "No way, friends is far, far worse" Replies David Schwimmer "Ha! our viewers consist only of bored housewives!" Clooney tells Schwimmer "Our show is so shallow you couldnt even paddle in it!" Schwimmer tells clooney "oh yeah, well take this!" George says as his fist connects with Schwimmers face, Who will prove to the other that they star in the worse show?
George Clooney
David Scwimmer
Rubbish talk show host, Jenny Jones is heading out of the building when she spots her favourate singer Alanis morrisette! "Can I have your autograph!" shouts Jenny when out no where Alanises nuts Jenny in the forehead, Autograph that! she tells Jenny, when she turns around and bumps into boxer, Mike Tyson, "You've stained my shirt!" he cries in reference to the lipstick stain on his beutiful white top, "your gonna pay!" he tells her as he knocks her head off (metaphorically speaking) with one clean punch. Jenny Jones begins to get to her feet, disorientated she goes for the first thing moving, which happens to be Tyson, will tyson over come the two rubbish females? you decide.
Alanis Morisette & Jenny Jones
Mike Tyson

THIS IS MORE FUN TO READ WHILE LISTENING TO THE INTRO OF MEGADETH - KILL THE KING

"Sunny was an Idiot!" calls Tina Turner, as she slaps Cher across the face "A grade 'A' first class Idiot!" Cher gets up and knocks Tina through a convieniantly placed pane of glass, Cut and bruised, the pensioner gets up and gives Cher a roundhouse kick, which knocks her down a well placed flight of stairs "you'll need another face lift after that, hahahaha" Tina calls down the stairs, she begins to walk away as Cher jumps down from the roof and begins to claw out Tina's eyes, who is the better fighter?
Cher
Tina Turner
"Oh my god! captain Kirk!" screams resident geek, Bill gates! "oh my god, oh my god!" he continues "will you sign my intel inside pentium 4 bu-jig-a-bite chipset, please, please, please" William Shatner (Captain Kirk) walks strait over and breaks Gate's neck "God, I hate fans, he snarls". "hey, thats no way to treat a fan!" says that bald bloke who plays Picard "you'll pay".....
Willaim Shatner
Bald bloke who plays Picard
"You told me you loved me!" Brad Pitt tells his wife on the phone. I didnt tell him I loved him thinks Tom Cruise behind Pitt, totally misreading the situation "Hey, you wanna go?" Tom asks Pitt "No way, I know your game" Pitt replies, teking offense Cruise lunges at Pitt, tearing off strips of his hair, who wins?
Brad Pitt
Tom Cruise
"look at these idiots fighting" Spielberg tells fellow hollywood director Tim Burton from their special directors box "you wouldnt catch us at it like that" he replies "wait, what do you mean 'like that'?" Spielberg asks "I mean, fighting like th.." "I know your game" Spielberg says as he pushes Burton through the glass, growing huge teeth, fur and a short tail, Spielberg jumps down, Burton inhales the smell of elderberries "I knew it!" he calls "your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!, now go away...or I will taunt you again!" Spielberg begins to gnaw at Burton's ankles as the fight continues, who will win? gothic man? or hamster hybrid? you decide.
Steven Spielberg
Tim Burton
Who do you think will be the last rubbish person standing?
Britney Spears
Christina Aguilera
Dr Dre
Ja Rule
Vin Diesel
Brendan Fraser
Eminem
Enya
Hugh Grant
Julia roberts
Ben Afleck
Jennifer Lopez
Justin Timberlake
Fred Durst
Avril Lavinge
Insane clown posse
Jackie Chan
Jennifer Aniston
The Rock
Michael Bolton
Marilyn Manson
George Clooney
David Scwimmer
Alanis Morisette
Jenny Jones
Mike Tyson
Cher
Tina Turner
Willaim Shatner
Bald bloke who plays Picard
Brad Pitt
Tom Cruise
Steven Spielberg
Tim Burton
Who is the most sexy at this stage of the brawl?
Britney Spears
Christina Aguilera
Dr Dre
Ja Rule
Vin Diesel
Brendan Fraser
Eminem
Enya
Hugh Grant
Julia roberts
Ben Afleck
Jennifer Lopez
Justin Timberlake
Fred Durst
Avril Lavinge
Insane clown posse
Jackie Chan
Jennifer Aniston
The Rock
Michael Bolton
Marilyn Manson
George Clooney
David Scwimmer
Alanis Morisette
Jenny Jones
Mike Tyson
Cher
Tina Turner
Willaim Shatner
Bald bloke who plays Picard
Brad Pitt
Tom Cruise
Steven Spielberg
Tim Burton
What is the biggest shocker so far?
Britney didnt win most repulsive female
Ben Afleck didnt present the award
Avril stealing fred Durst's hat
The Rock thinking that Jennifer Aniston is a worthy opponent
The Alanis Morisette/Jenny Jones partnership
The well placed Stairs and Pane of glass
I dont know who played Captain Picard
Spielberg's mother was a hamster
Bill gates got his neck broken
None of it was shocking, I saw it all coming a mile off
Who has got the bushiest eyebrows?
Britney Spears
Christina Aguilera
Dr Dre
Ja Rule
Vin Diesel
Brendan Fraser
Eminem
Enya
Hugh Grant
Julia roberts
Ben Afleck
Jennifer Lopez
Justin Timberlake
Fred Durst
Avril Lavinge
Insane clown posse
Jackie Chan
Jennifer Aniston
The Rock
Michael Bolton
Marilyn Manson
George Clooney
David Scwimmer
Alanis Morisette
Jenny Jones
Mike Tyson
Cher
Tina Turner
Willaim Shatner
Bald bloke who plays Picard
Brad Pitt
Tom Cruise
Steven Spielberg
Tim Burton
Who would be most likely to use a garden rake to beat their opponent?
Britney Spears
Christina Aguilera
Dr Dre
Ja Rule
Vin Diesel
Brendan Fraser
Eminem
Enya
Hugh Grant
Julia roberts
Ben Afleck
Jennifer Lopez
Justin Timberlake
Fred Durst
Avril Lavinge
Insane clown posse
Jackie Chan
Jennifer Aniston
The Rock
Michael Bolton
Marilyn Manson
George Clooney
David Scwimmer
Alanis Morisette
Jenny Jones
Mike Tyson
Cher
Tina Turner
Willaim Shatner
Bald bloke who plays Picard
Brad Pitt
Tom Cruise
Steven Spielberg
Tim Burton
Who's career would be most forwarded by winning this brawl?
Britney Spears
Christina Aguilera
Dr Dre
Ja Rule
Vin Diesel
Brendan Fraser
Eminem
Enya
Hugh Grant
Julia roberts
Ben Afleck
Jennifer Lopez
Justin Timberlake
Fred Durst
Avril Lavinge
Insane clown posse
Jackie Chan
Jennifer Aniston
The Rock
Michael Bolton
Marilyn Manson
George Clooney
David Scwimmer
Alanis Morisette
Jenny Jones
Mike Tyson
Cher
Tina Turner
Willaim Shatner
Bald bloke who plays Picard
Brad Pitt
Tom Cruise
Steven Spielberg
Tim Burton
Does Vin diesel suck?
Yes
No
Who doesnt suck?
Britney Spears
Christina Aguilera
Dr Dre
Ja Rule
Vin Diesel
Brendan Fraser
Eminem
Enya
Hugh Grant
Julia roberts
Ben Afleck
Jennifer Lopez
Justin Timberlake
Fred Durst
Avril Lavinge
Insane clown posse
Jackie Chan
Jennifer Aniston
The Rock
Michael Bolton
Marilyn Manson
George Clooney
David Scwimmer
Alanis Morisette
Jenny Jones
Mike Tyson
Cher
Tina Turner
Willaim Shatner
Bald bloke who plays Picard
Brad Pitt
Tom Cruise
Steven Spielberg
Tim Burton
Why did I make this poll?
Your a very strange man
You got bored
You were taking the mickey out of another poll
Your very sad
Your very cool, and i want to have your babies
Other reason
Are you looking forward to the next round?
Yes
No
Which brawl would you most want to watch?
Britney Spears Vs Christina Aguilera
Dr Dre Vs Ja Rule
Vin Diesel vs Brendan Fraser
Eminem Vs Enya
Hugh Grant Vs Julia roberts
Ben Afleck & Jennifer Lopez Vs Justin Timberlake
Fred Durst Vs Avril Lavinge
Insane clown posse Vs Jackie Chan
Jennifer Aniston Vs The Rock
Michael Bolton Vs Marilyn Manson
George Clooney Vs David Scwimmer
Alanis Morisette & Jenny Jones Vs Mike Tyson
Cher Vs Tina Turner
Willaim Shatner Vs Bald bloke who plays Picard
Brad Pitt Vs Tom Cruise
Steven Spielberg Vs Tim Burton
Did you enjoy that poll?
Yes, loved it with all my heart
No, hated it with all my heart
This poll was created on 2003-03-30 22:44:34 by Nemesiiiss