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Forced to hold it as punishment

boarding school story

Posted by bassman21 on 2003-10-19 14:09:34

When I was a child I went to a boarding school for one year in the fourth grade. I was sent there because I was doing real bad in school and giving my parents a lot of trouble at home. The school was located somewhere between Dallas and Houston TX. Our uniform consisted of a white polo shirt, black shorts, black sock and black hightop leather like shoes. We had to wear our uniform including our shoes until bed time around nine o'clock. I hated wearing shoes especially with black socks. What I hated even worst was having to hold my pee. When I had to go it would hit me hard and the thought of having to hold it longer that a few minutes was something I couldn't picture. I learned the routine on my first full day at boarding school. We only had four toilet breaks a day. We were awakened at 6:30 am. Around seven we were lined up outside of the restroom which had six showers, 2 toilets and 2 urinal, basically a locker room minus the lockers. There were about thirty of us and we all had thirty minutes to shower, brush our teeth, use the restroom and get dressed. Some of us would wait until bedtime or PE to shower. The lines at the toilet were very long and you would always see three or four rushing at the last minute to go. Since the morning time was when most would take a BM we were usually only given about three minutes to use the restroom each. After our morning break we had breakfast and by eight had to be in class. We were in the same room all day most of the time and didn't get to leave until lunch at 12:00. On my first day I had to pee by 9:00 and by 10:00 I had to go pretty bad. I ask the teacher if I could go to the bathroom. She told me that I would have to wait until after lunch at 12:30. My heart sank when she told me that. She then said that it was against the rules to use the restroom outside of the scheduled time and that I was to never ask her again. By 11:00 I was getting desperate. Around 11:30 I had to go so bad I couldn't stand it and had a hard time keeping still. My feet began to sweat in those hot leather like shoes. The teacher seen me moving and told me sit still, I told her I needed to go real bad. She then told me if I didn't sit still, be quite and quit holding myself I was going to loose my 12:30 break and would have to wait until PE at 4:00. A shot of cold fear went through me. I told her that I was about to wet myself and she said if I wet myself I would get the paddle. The school used the paddle quite regularly as I would later learn. I had to go so bad by lunch I had a hard time walking to the lunch room. It only got worst at lunch as I filled my stomach with food and caffeine free tea. After lunch we lined up for our second bathroom break of the day. The wait was hell and when I got to the urinal I peed long and hard, what a relief! By PE I had to go pretty bad again. We went to the same room that we used in the morning. After PE at 5:30 we had lunch, study time until 7:00, fun time where we played games or watched a G rated movie until 8:30 and our forth and final restroom break of the day around 9:00. Even during the evening hours we were not allowed to go to the restroom outside of the four schedule breaks. As laid in bed my first night recapping on the days events I already knew it was going to be a long hard year at boarding school. Almost everyday I would be bursting by any of the breaks.

One night I woke up around 2am needing to pee very badly. I was sure they wouldn't mind me going during the night since it was almost 10 hours without a toilet. There was a staff member who stayed up all night watching over us. I walked up to her and asked her if I could go to the bathroom. She looked at me very angrily because I was out of bed and told me that we were not allowed out of bed during the night and that I would have to wait until morning. I started crying and begged her to please make a exception and let me go. She told me she was sorry, but the rules are the rules and that if all of the other kids could wait until the morning break I could too. I was then sent back to my room. I will never forget the feeling of lying in my bed with my bladder bursting but not being able to go because the lady guarding the restroom wouldn’t let me. Because of the pain of my bladder I could not get back to sleep. That was probably the worst night of my life, but some how I made it until morning. Maybe it was the fear of what would happen if I wet myself. I later learned that the school once let the kids get up and go during the night, but since most of the kids were shy about taking a BM in front of the other kids they would wait until after bedtime. The school saw this as a problem and banned toilet use during the night time hours forcing us to go during the day.

On Wednesday we had church at the school instead of PE. We were normally able to go both before and after PE, but sometimes not both because the time we had to change back into our uniform was too short. However on Wednesday we went strait from class to church and were not allowed to visit the toilet until around 5:30. I remember during church services having to pee so bad and remember watching some of the other kids as they squirmed in their chairs.

One day I got into a fight with this kid in the locker room that had been picking on me for days. We were sent to the principal but because it happened during the start of PE we did not get to go to the bathroom. It was one of those days where I was bursting to go. We waiting in his office for over an hour and almost missed dinner. We each got five swats with the paddle. I remember of having to endure the pain of the paddling, plus the feeling of my bladder being jarred. I peed a small amount in my shorts. When we were leaving the principals office we asked him if we could go to the bathroom and he said that it would be up to our teacher, but for now we would need to hurry before we missed dinner. After dinner I asked or actually begged the staff member to let me go and she said no. I explained to her that we missed going during PE and she said we should have thought of that before we got into a fight. On this day we were watching a movie and during the movie Darrin the kid I got into a fight with asked if he could go and was told no after a few minutes he started to cry. The lady dragged him outside to I thought to take him to the bathroom, but later found it was to tell him that if he didn’t be quiet and sit still he was going to get the paddle again. She sat both of us next to her, but every time we moved she put her arm on us and told us to sit still. I had to go so bad and every breath was painful. The next thing I knew Darrin started to pee in his pants. The woman started yelling at him to stop as the wet spot formed around his shorts and then on the carpet. Everyone started to laugh and Miss @$#@ got a towel and made him clean it up, afterwards she took him to the office and paddled him again. Somehow I managed to make it without even wetting my shorts. I remember I barley even walk to the bathroom. Standing there waiting my turn was torture, when I finally got to the toilet it took almost a minute for me to get started. When I finally did go I peed for well over a minutes. What a relief!

Sometimes if one of us misbehaved during class or during the after lunch break the teacher would make us stand outside the restroom while the rest of the class went meaning we would have to wait until PE at 4 or 5:30 if it was on Wednesday. With almost 9 hours without a pee! I never wet myself more than a small amount at the school, but seen a few others do it. Over all most of the kids at the school were pretty use to holding it and some never seemed to be bothered?

Posted by on 2003-10-21 06:39:22

I did not realize when I put a reply to your Great Punishment Not that you were also the author of this message.

Several points to make:

  1. The only thing that I disagreed with in your first message was that you saw nothing wrong with asking a child to wait a few minutes. I don't even believe in doing that unless there is a very good reason. This is why. Some students knowing that a restroom is close by try to hold it until the scheduled break. When they realize they can't, they need to go right then not 10 minutes from now. If students are on a field trip and a student gets in a bind and has an accident before a place can be found to use the restroom, most students are very understanding. Very few will laugh. But when a restroom is close at hand and an adult denys the restroom and an accident takes place the students will redicule the student. After all the adult started it by not letting the child go. Students think that they are on the teacher's side in this. This is psyocological.

  2. I don't have to explain to you that there are adults like I described. I thought I had made it so absurd that no one would believe it. Then I read your post. Unfortunately there are adults that go that far. There are several reasons. 1.Control. 2. Punishment. Forced holding of urine is a type of pain and as such counts as corporal punishment which is illegal in some states.

  3. Abuse. Too much said.

Consequences: You were wrong about who has accidents. Many adults have lost partial or complete control of their bladders from childhood abuse that you described in your post. (The one that really happened!) I am surprised that you haven't developed bladder problems from what you went through. I'm afraid that you might later on. I hope not. If you do, it is not your fault. Deal with it the best you can and go on.

There are organizations that fight child abuse through denial of the restroom. The best one I know of is:

Couture, Laurie A. E-mail Address(es): childadvocacy@hotmail.com

This organization is dedicated to protecting children's right to the restroom when they need it.

Again I am sorry that you thought I was serious. When I read your story, I realized how painful it must have been for you to read this and believe that I really believed that. I was only trying to poke fun at fools who abuse children. For some people satire is the only way to their minds. That was what I was trying to do.

I had classes who came to me dancing to go to the restroom. They had been denied for several hours. I lined them up, took them to the restroom, and then reported the teacher or the substitute to the principal. Occassionlly, I let it "slip" to the right parents. I even had a rule that if they had an emergency that coudn't be postponed they were to get up and go. I only punished those who were faking it. I never had one fake it and get caught. I would much rather have had 10 students fake it and get away with it than have one student embarrass himself or cause physical problems later.

For the record, all urologists that I know of are opposed to denying the restroom to students period. It causes too many physical problems at the time and later in life.

Thanks for sharing your true story. Now maybe people will really believe that there is abuse out there. It should be illegal.

========== In Reply To ========== When I was a child I went to a boarding school for one year in the fourth grade. I was sent there because I was doing real bad in school and giving my parents a lot of trouble at home. The school was located somewhere between Dallas and Houston TX. Our uniform consisted of a white polo shirt, black shorts, black sock and black hightop leather like shoes. We had to wear our uniform including our shoes until bed time around nine o'clock. I hated wearing shoes especially with black socks. What I hated even worst was having to hold my pee. When I had to go it would hit me hard and the thought of having to hold it longer that a few minutes was something I couldn't picture. I learned the routine on my first full day at boarding school. We only had four toilet breaks a day. We were awakened at 6:30 am. Around seven we were lined up outside of the restroom which had six showers, 2 toilets and 2 urinal, basically a locker room minus the lockers. There were about thirty of us and we all had thirty minutes to shower, brush our teeth, use the restroom and get dressed. Some of us would wait until bedtime or PE to shower. The lines at the toilet were very long and you would always see three or four rushing at the last minute to go. Since the morning time was when most would take a BM we were usually only given about three minutes to use the restroom each. After our morning break we had breakfast and by eight had to be in class. We were in the same room all day most of the time and didn't get to leave until lunch at 12:00. On my first day I had to pee by 9:00 and by 10:00 I had to go pretty bad. I ask the teacher if I could go to the bathroom. She told me that I would have to wait until after lunch at 12:30. My heart sank when she told me that. She then said that it was against the rules to use the restroom outside of the scheduled time and that I was to never ask her again. By 11:00 I was getting desperate. Around 11:30 I had to go so bad I couldn't stand it and had a hard time keeping still. My feet began to sweat in those hot leather like shoes. The teacher seen me moving and told me sit still, I told her I needed to go real bad. She then told me if I didn't sit still, be quite and quit holding myself I was going to loose my 12:30 break and would have to wait until PE at 4:00. A shot of cold fear went through me. I told her that I was about to wet myself and she said if I wet myself I would get the paddle. The school used the paddle quite regularly as I would later learn. I had to go so bad by lunch I had a hard time walking to the lunch room. It only got worst at lunch as I filled my stomach with food and caffeine free tea. After lunch we lined up for our second bathroom break of the day. The wait was hell and when I got to the urinal I peed long and hard, what a relief! By PE I had to go pretty bad again. We went to the same room that we used in the morning. After PE at 5:30 we had lunch, study time until 7:00, fun time where we played games or watched a G rated movie until 8:30 and our forth and final restroom break of the day around 9:00. Even during the evening hours we were not allowed to go to the restroom outside of the four schedule breaks. As laid in bed my first night recapping on the days events I already knew it was going to be a long hard year at boarding school. Almost everyday I would be bursting by any of the breaks.

One night I woke up around 2am needing to pee very badly. I was sure they wouldn't mind me going during the night since it was almost 10 hours without a toilet. There was a staff member who stayed up all night watching over us. I walked up to her and asked her if I could go to the bathroom. She looked at me very angrily because I was out of bed and told me that we were not allowed out of bed during the night and that I would have to wait until morning. I started crying and begged her to please make a exception and let me go. She told me she was sorry, but the rules are the rules and that if all of the other kids could wait until the morning break I could too. I was then sent back to my room. I will never forget the feeling of lying in my bed with my bladder bursting but not being able to go because the lady guarding the restroom wouldn’t let me. Because of the pain of my bladder I could not get back to sleep. That was probably the worst night of my life, but some how I made it until morning. Maybe it was the fear of what would happen if I wet myself. I later learned that the school once let the kids get up and go during the night, but since most of the kids were shy about taking a BM in front of the other kids they would wait until after bedtime. The school saw this as a problem and banned toilet use during the night time hours forcing us to go during the day.

On Wednesday we had church at the school instead of PE. We were normally able to go both before and after PE, but sometimes not both because the time we had to change back into our uniform was too short. However on Wednesday we went strait from class to church and were not allowed to visit the toilet until around 5:30. I remember during church services having to pee so bad and remember watching some of the other kids as they squirmed in their chairs.

One day I got into a fight with this kid in the locker room that had been picking on me for days. We were sent to the principal but because it happened during the start of PE we did not get to go to the bathroom. It was one of those days where I was bursting to go. We waiting in his office for over an hour and almost missed dinner. We each got five swats with the paddle. I remember of having to endure the pain of the paddling, plus the feeling of my bladder being jarred. I peed a small amount in my shorts. When we were leaving the principals office we asked him if we could go to the bathroom and he said that it would be up to our teacher, but for now we would need to hurry before we missed dinner. After dinner I asked or actually begged the staff member to let me go and she said no. I explained to her that we missed going during PE and she said we should have thought of that before we got into a fight. On this day we were watching a movie and during the movie Darrin the kid I got into a fight with asked if he could go and was told no after a few minutes he started to cry. The lady dragged him outside to I thought to take him to the bathroom, but later found it was to tell him that if he didn’t be quiet and sit still he was going to get the paddle again. She sat both of us next to her, but every time we moved she put her arm on us and told us to sit still. I had to go so bad and every breath was painful. The next thing I knew Darrin started to pee in his pants. The woman started yelling at him to stop as the wet spot formed around his shorts and then on the carpet. Everyone started to laugh and Miss @$#@ got a towel and made him clean it up, afterwards she took him to the office and paddled him again. Somehow I managed to make it without even wetting my shorts. I remember I barley even walk to the bathroom. Standing there waiting my turn was torture, when I finally got to the toilet it took almost a minute for me to get started. When I finally did go I peed for well over a minutes. What a relief!

Sometimes if one of us misbehaved during class or during the after lunch break the teacher would make us stand outside the restroom while the rest of the class went meaning we would have to wait until PE at 4 or 5:30 if it was on Wednesday. With almost 9 hours without a pee! I never wet myself more than a small amount at the school, but seen a few others do it. Over all most of the kids at the school were pretty use to holding it and some never seemed to be bothered?

Posted by bassman21 on 2003-10-21 12:08:07

I no name I knew you couldn't have been serious, but took it that you were one of these people out here that think this is a fetish board. I get so sick of some great polls being ruined by people's fare fetched sick fantasies. I put the high numbers for the amount time people were made to hold it to tell the differences between the true and false results. I highly doubt any child could hold it for 24 hours. The longest I have heard that I know was true was 12 hours and this person’s bladder grew to handle it from years of being made to hold it. Now that I have reread your post I see the point you wear making. My fear was someone would read it and take it seriously and inflict that on a child. Sound hard to believe, but some people are that F*** up.

As far as making a child wait. There is a difference in asking a child to wait and making them. The bladder is made to hold urine and there is nothing unhealthy about holding it for a few minutes. Though a toilet may be in reach, out of respect for the class a child should wait to ask at an appropriate time unless it’s an emergency. They also might be missing out on important instructions. This should be something the child learns to do by choice not because someone is forcing them against there will to do. So if a teacher once in a while asks a student if they can wait until they finish explain the assignment, I see nothing wrong with this as long as it doesn't extend over ten minutes. Age of course plays a role too. Asking a 6th grader to wait 5 minutes is not that big of a deal, but asking a 1st grader to wait is. If a mom is shopping and Timmy asked to go while mom is checking out he might have to wait a few minutes if no one is there to take him. I think were taking this to the extreme if we expect an adult to always drop what they are doing second a child has to go. Doing this teaches the child that the world must stop to accommodate their needs. The child also grows up having little bladder control (self control). While his/her need is a top priority, it can wait a few minutes in most cases if necessary. Like you said about the accidents, a child will understand if given a valid reason. I guess I feel if I could hold it at the age of 9 for over 6 hours a child of that same age can wait 5 minutes.

The emotional scars for me are more of a problem than the physical. I actually have very good bladder control, but like you said the problems may show up later on.

Hopefully this abuse is not as common as it was when I was a child, but I fear it still is about the same.

========== In Reply To ========== I did not realize when I put a reply to your Great Punishment Not that you were also the author of this message.

Several points to make:

  1. The only thing that I disagreed with in your first message was that you saw nothing wrong with asking a child to wait a few minutes. I don't even believe in doing that unless there is a very good reason. This is why. Some students knowing that a restroom is close by try to hold it until the scheduled break. When they realize they can't, they need to go right then not 10 minutes from now. If students are on a field trip and a student gets in a bind and has an accident before a place can be found to use the restroom, most students are very understanding. Very few will laugh. But when a restroom is close at hand and an adult denys the restroom and an accident takes place the students will redicule the student. After all the adult started it by not letting the child go. Students think that they are on the teacher's side in this. This is psyocological.

  2. I don't have to explain to you that there are adults like I described. I thought I had made it so absurd that no one would believe it. Then I read your post. Unfortunately there are adults that go that far. There are several reasons. 1.Control. 2. Punishment. Forced holding of urine is a type of pain and as such counts as corporal punishment which is illegal in some states.

  3. Abuse. Too much said.

Consequences: You were wrong about who has accidents. Many adults have lost partial or complete control of their bladders from childhood abuse that you described in your post. (The one that really happened!) I am surprised that you haven't developed bladder problems from what you went through. I'm afraid that you might later on. I hope not. If you do, it is not your fault. Deal with it the best you can and go on.

There are organizations that fight child abuse through denial of the restroom. The best one I know of is:

Couture, Laurie A. E-mail Address(es): childadvocacy@hotmail.com

This organization is dedicated to protecting children's right to the restroom when they need it.

Again I am sorry that you thought I was serious. When I read your story, I realized how painful it must have been for you to read this and believe that I really believed that. I was only trying to poke fun at fools who abuse children. For some people satire is the only way to their minds. That was what I was trying to do.

I had classes who came to me dancing to go to the restroom. They had been denied for several hours. I lined them up, took them to the restroom, and then reported the teacher or the substitute to the principal. Occassionlly, I let it "slip" to the right parents. I even had a rule that if they had an emergency that coudn't be postponed they were to get up and go. I only punished those who were faking it. I never had one fake it and get caught. I would much rather have had 10 students fake it and get away with it than have one student embarrass himself or cause physical problems later.

For the record, all urologists that I know of are opposed to denying the restroom to students period. It causes too many physical problems at the time and later in life.

Thanks for sharing your true story. Now maybe people will really believe that there is abuse out there. It should be illegal.

Posted by on 2003-10-22 06:33:02

Thanks for your reply. I feel better. You are right. There are times that we have to wait or have an accident. Children should be taught bladder control. My point about allowing a student to leave class without permission was in extreme cases and included vomiting, diareah and bladder infections or bladder problems, or girl period problems. I only had two or three students in a year actually get up and run from the room. My point I made to the class was that if they needed to go and tried to wait and did so for 30 minutes, and then saw that they couldn't make the last three minutes of class I would not embarrass them. Also students who habitually went all the time were given conduct cuts if they could not produce documentation that there was a problem. This was very rare.

The surprise is that once restroom visits were no longer a discipline problem but a bodily function, the number of requests went way down. My students knew that I would never ever expect them to sit in pain or have an accident. Research shows that when people are under stress adreline causes urine production to increase. So I actually had far fewer requests to leave the room and only had two students have to change clothes because they wet their pants. One, had a serious bladder problem documented. He simply did't have control once he felt the urge. The other happened the first month I taught. He was too scared to get up and ask to go. He had never had a man teacher. When that happened, I said to myself that this would never happen again and except for a child with real physical problems it didn't.

There is a bladder condition where students have no urge until the bladder is completely full and their is little wait time. It is embarrassing to them. I saw that those students went every two hours. I reminded them. Once they did this they did not have to leave class as often.

Also, when students ask to go the last five minutes of class, they sometimes are asking because that don't have time to go between classes and don't want to ask the new teacher at the beginning of next class or get a tardy slip. I always helped those students out. I knew which ones had had a far ways to go and which ones had a class next door. Also some people lose bladder control because of fear of an accident. Take away the fear of an accident and they do fine.

Teachers are supposed to take care of their children. You clarified your asking a student to wait "unless it was an emergency". That is the key.

On behalf of all good teachers in the world I apologize to you for the behavior of people who abused you and all of the students in that boarding school.

You said you hoped that kind of abuse is not happening today.

This is what is happening at the high school level in many high schools. The administration is so afraid of discipline problems that the time between classes has been cut to the bare minimum it takes to walk from one class to another, sometimes run. There is no time to go to the restroom between classes and some of these high schools don't allow students to leave during class. This means that students go from 8 until 12. How do they make it? They don't eat breakfast or drink any liquid until noon. This is wrong, wrong, wrong. Restricting liquids is bad for anyone's health. Federal law prohibits this kind of treatment for adults. It should for children also. Our children should be given better treatment than prisoners of war.

In closing, I guess you can see how passionate I have become about this issue. I reread my post. I wasn't sarcastic enough to make it clear to the readers the absurdity of making people hold it for no reason. In the end I mentioned heaven or somewhere. That was too disguised. Hell awaits those who abuse children. Either in this world or the next. God does not look kindly on adults abusing children.

I loved teaching and the children loved me. I can't go anywhere without former students coming up and visiting. Six foot six men hugging this short old man at the Wal Mart SuperCenter. I wish I could remember all their names.

========== In Reply To ========== I no name I knew you couldn't have been serious, but took it that you were one of these people out here that think this is a fetish board. I get so sick of some great polls being ruined by people's fare fetched sick fantasies. I put the high numbers for the amount time people were made to hold it to tell the differences between the true and false results. I highly doubt any child could hold it for 24 hours. The longest I have heard that I know was true was 12 hours and this person’s bladder grew to handle it from years of being made to hold it. Now that I have reread your post I see the point you wear making. My fear was someone would read it and take it seriously and inflict that on a child. Sound hard to believe, but some people are that F*** up.

As far as making a child wait. There is a difference in asking a child to wait and making them. The bladder is made to hold urine and there is nothing unhealthy about holding it for a few minutes. Though a toilet may be in reach, out of respect for the class a child should wait to ask at an appropriate time unless it’s an emergency. They also might be missing out on important instructions. This should be something the child learns to do by choice not because someone is forcing them against there will to do. So if a teacher once in a while asks a student if they can wait until they finish explain the assignment, I see nothing wrong with this as long as it doesn't extend over ten minutes. Age of course plays a role too. Asking a 6th grader to wait 5 minutes is not that big of a deal, but asking a 1st grader to wait is. If a mom is shopping and Timmy asked to go while mom is checking out he might have to wait a few minutes if no one is there to take him. I think were taking this to the extreme if we expect an adult to always drop what they are doing second a child has to go. Doing this teaches the child that the world must stop to accommodate their needs. The child also grows up having little bladder control (self control). While his/her need is a top priority, it can wait a few minutes in most cases if necessary. Like you said about the accidents, a child will understand if given a valid reason. I guess I feel if I could hold it at the age of 9 for over 6 hours a child of that same age can wait 5 minutes.

The emotional scars for me are more of a problem than the physical. I actually have very good bladder control, but like you said the problems may show up later on.

Hopefully this abuse is not as common as it was when I was a child, but I fear it still is about the same.

Posted by HairyLady on 2003-12-02 20:24:55

========== In Reply To ==========

Consequences: You were wrong about who has accidents. Many adults have lost partial or complete control of their bladders from childhood abuse that you described in your post. (The one that really happened!) I am surprised that you haven't developed bladder problems from what you went through. I'm afraid that you might later on. I hope not. If you do, it is not your fault. Deal with it the best you can and go on.

=================================

Exactly. I have had moderate frequency (I pee every 2 hrs or so at least) since high school & sometimes wonder if it's related in any way to being forced to hold it too long as a kid. It's something I've learned to live with and don't even really think of as a problem, but my heart goes out to anyone like me who is randomly refused a bathroom break when s/he needs it. Or, worse yet, anyone who becomes like me as a result of it. Peeing is a right, not a privilege, and some people need to do it more often than others. It's really sad that some people don't understand that.