Discipline for adult daughters
Sounds like she needed it!
I've been taken over my dads knee a few times. People need to understand and a firm hand when treated fairly can make a relationship both paternal or with a boyfriend/husband.
My sisters and I were spanked as long as we lived under our parents' roof. I moved out at 19, and was last spanked at that age, but my sister stayed until age 25 and my dad continued to spank her for punishment. I think that this kept us really well behaved, and in fact I think that we were spanked for fairly minor things: at 19, the one time I was spanked was for saying I went to church when I hadn't. When I came home, my parents had found out (my sister told them) and everyone (parents, siblings) were in the living room when I got home. My dad walked over to me, put me over the back of the couch, lifted my skirt and gave me about fifty licks with his belt in front of everyone.
My brothers later told me that after I was sent to my room, my sister was running her mouth about how I totally deserved it, and my dad reminded her that she was not too old for a spanking herself by putting her over the back of the couch in front of everyone. When she sassed back after that (by saying, "all I was telling you was that I agreed with you!") he gave her a lecture about not being on a high horse and acting like she was better than everyone (something she often was punished for) and he told her that she was taking too much pleasure in tattling on me (also something she was often punished for). My brothers said she stood and rubbed her bottom through her skirt the whole time, as if she were trying to ease the pain but also as though she knew what was coming. My dad kept holding his folded over belt as he lectured her and everyone held their breath, waiting for him to start spanking again. When he lectured, he got angry again and if he was holding his belt, or about to take it off, you knew a spanking was coming. But instead, he told her to get to her room for a spanking (which usually meant bare bottom) and she argued with him, much to everyone's disbelief. She said, "you don't spank the boys!" Which was true, he didn't. But she still should have known better than to sass him like that in front of everyone. So he bared her bottom right there for a few licks and asked if she was going to obey him or argue. This was the one and only time one of us was deliberately bared in front of siblings (I was once whipped severely in front of my mother for being disrespectful to her and several times in semi-private places, but that was very different from having your panties pulled down in front of other people on purpose -- my dad was actually really careful not to do that), and I believe my father did it to stop my sister from being so prideful and show her who was in charge. She was 23 during that spanking, so it was especially shameful for her to be spanked in front of our brothers (she was the oldest) on the bare. Then she had to shuffle to her room with her panties around her ankles to wait for our dad to come in and finish the job.
Luckily for me, this meant that he forgot to come in and finish my spanking. Any time one of us was spanked in public (like in the living room), we were sent to our room to await a more severe spanking (the one exception being the time I got a severe spanking in a semi-public place during a company picnic...it was severe enough that my dad didn't even consider giving me more when we got home). So I was fully expecting a bare bottom spanking that night, but my sister got it instead. I moved out shortly after that, never wanting to experience another spanking. They didn't happen frequently, but when they did, they had a lasting impact. My last severe spanking, at 17, made me afraid to ever disrespect my mom again...it was enough to keep me in line forever because I always suspected that, if pushed far enough, my dad would spank us even after we were out of his house.
The thing is, girls can be really disrespectful and mouthy, especially to their mothers. My sister and I were this way and the thing that kept us from mouthing off to her was the fear that our dad would spank us. My brothers didn't have this problem, and I never felt that it was unfair for my dad to spank the girls and not the boys. I will never, ever, forget the last spanking I got for mouthing off to my mom. I had been pushing it for weeks, and had been spanked over my panties the week before for it. But I was feeling rebellious and one day, thinking my dad was napping, I was mouthing off to my mom in a soft voice. Then I felt my dad behind me, grabbing my arm. He turned me toward the kitchen door and told me to get to my room, NOW. He walked behind me, unbuckling his belt on the way. I knew I was going to get it good, probably on the bare, so I went right down on the bed facedown (the position he usually put is in when he bared us, so that he only saw our backsides) and, sure enough, Dad yanked down my sweatpants and panties to my knees. His belt was already off and he went right to work tanning my backside. He spanked all the way up and down my thighs while I wailed. I usually fought off tears during spanking, not wanting anyone to see they had got the best of me, but this one I knew I deserved, I really felt bad for how I had treated my mom and I was almost glad my dad was spanking me. I didn't even feel bad that he had bared me. For us, a bare bottom spanking was not at all sexual, it was purely about punishment. It was more severe in every way than an over the panty or clothes spanking. We were usually spanked over our panties, and always after the age of ten we were spanked at home with our dad's belt. He would go easier on our upper thighs because they weren't covered by panties, and really focus on our bottoms. When he bared us, it was down to the knees and he used his belt evenly over our buttocks and legs and didn't go light ANYWHERE. It was definitely a longer spanking, and it seemed harder, but if you have ever experienced a bare bottom belting, you know how much harder it feels than over panties. These spankings were very, very rare for me. Five in my life, and I never made the same mistake that led to any of them. This one was the last time I ever said something mean to my mom in my life. I will never forget lying on my bed, my butt and legs on fire, thinking it had to be almost over, and then my dad called my mom in. I had been yelling, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," and he called her in and said, "I think you need to hear this." I remember him grunting as he brought his belt down hard and her standing at the head of my bed wringing her hands, accepting my apology and telling him he was being too hard on me. He kept saying, "She's gonna learn," and "she's got to learn," and guess what? I did.
So it's hard to argue that spanking adult daughters is ineffective. We never got into any trouble because we knew that, if these were the spankings we were getting just for things like disrespect or mouthiness, we didn't want to know what we'd get for real trouble.
My wife would agree with you about a woman sometimes needing a firm hand. Shortly after we began dating, my wife told me she'd gotten spanked by her dad when she was home from college.
Then, in a roundabout way, she let me know she expected to be spanked when she misbehaved. When the time came, she was thoroughly cooperative. Later, she admitted she decided to marry me even before the stinging subsided! We've been together ever since.
I really believe that a willingness to accept spanking, when deserved, makes for a happier marriage. If you cannot trust your spouse to spank you, you must doubt how much they love you. The only distinction I would make is that husbands, as well as wives, sometimes deserve disciplinary treatment.