The Ultimate Canadians vs. Americans Poll

A few reasons why Canada rules

1. Canada (yes, the whole country!) had 555 murders in 1998 which is 1.83 murders per 100,000 people. The state of California (yes, just ONE state) had 2,171 murders in 1998 which is 6.6 murders per 100,000 people.

2. If the American looks consipracy/militia minded (and you're pretty safe assuming that he or she is), try this one: Canadians are the ones who lead the way in high altitude super sophisticated MACH2 interceptors, such as the AVRO ARROW, which the U.S. wanted so badly they did everything possible to stop us from producing them. They failed.

3. The War of 1812.....Those dumb Canucks sent those "superior" Americans packing. Or, stopped them from packing up us, as the case may be!

4. Um...for what its worth we um...burned down the white house.... Twice.

5. Canada is ranked the NUMBER ONE nation in the world by the UN (in fact, we've been #1 for a few years, now.

6.Major motion picture studio's film in Canada because they like us better even though in many cases the wages they pay are higher.

7.The X-Files is filmed in Vancouver.

8.Much Music kicks MTV's butt.

9.I believe we are officially the coldest nation in the world, if that's anything to boast about. (Typical Canadian humility, of course it is!)

10.If Jean and Bill ever got into a fist fight, Jean would kick Bill's behind. Remember that guy that he punched out?

11.Our cities don't shut down cause of a bit of wimpy frost. Heck, we build highways out of ice in the winter.

12.Canadian football: Our balls are bigger.

13.Football was invented in McGill university in Montreal. First official game, McGill vs Harvard. Guess who won.

14.Superman, blindly stolen by the U.S. for their own propaganda purposes.

15.What's our national sport? (America answers Hockey) Wrong! It's lacrosse! Ha ha ha!

16.Three words: Pamela Lee Anderson.

17.Two better words: Natasha Henstridge.

18.We kicked your @$$ in the 100m. Ohh baby, it hurts to be this good, eh!

19.We are your flavourful neighbours to the north who don't harbour colourful grudges but spell words funky!

20.I can't believe no one has named Stan Rogers by now. The next 10 items brought to you by Zeus.

21.When was the last time the U.S. won an international curling match?

22.Our national animal? The beaver!

23.Hey, we like guns, but put them in the constitution--what's that about?

24.Let's put it this way: 3 Coors = 1 Canadian beer.

25.And to think we let you buy Alaska at such a bargain price!

26.You tried to invade us once. Once.

27.$4.85 in our change weighs way more than yours. Ergo, we must not be little girly men, but buff wild hombres.

28.Jim Carrey, Dave Thomas, Shania Twain, Eugene Levy, Natasha Henstridge, John Candy (used to have him), Dan Akroyd, Rich Little, Martin Short, Bryan Adams, Yasmeen, Linda Evangelista, Percy Faith? (not Sledge), The Kids in the Hall, Leslie Nielsen, "Life is a Highway" Celine Dion, Pamela Lee Anderson, Sarah McLachlan... Let's face it, if you dig music, babes or laughing, we're your country.

29.Less fungus, fewer insects.

30.Loonies instead of Coke machines needing to have those annoying bill changers that never take my bills.

31.Nuclear meltdowns. We haven't had one. Nuclear crisis? None of those either. Nuclear weapons? Almost never had 'em, never will.

32.No squid, smaller yuppies.

33.Alex Trebek and Peter Jennings are very very smart and very very Canadian.

34.We may have an accent, but at least I've never spelled "thru," "nite," "glo" or "EZ" quite like you do.

35.At least we have a legitimate claim to be interested in the Royal Family!

36.We invented dirt. It's true.

37.Parliament? It's a much longer word than Congress.

38.Canadian flag? We don't have to change it every time we add a province (or lose one, thank goodness)!

39.Largest unguarded border in the world? We're sharing it with you.

40.The river in my city? I can swim in it.

41.Drive-by shooting ratio: 100 to 1 or less.

42.World Series. Twice in a row. Naanee naanee boo boo!

43.Socialized health care, so there!

44.The telephone, maybe you've heard of it? We invented that!

45.Basketball, we invented that!

46.I've never had to go through a metal detector at school.

47.I'm not afraid to walk down the street at night.

48.First person to visit China under Mao Tse Tung? Pierre Elliot Trudeau. He's Canadian, and was prime minister!

49.Alexander Graham Bell? Hello? He's buried in Canada! (And he was originally born in Scotland, which is virtually Canadian, and who cares if he just happened to emigrate to America, that's hardly worth mentioning.

50.We're not afraid to have commericals on TV that say we're the best then broadcast them to the rest of the world.

51."Eh" sounds a lot better than "huh", eh?

Canadian, Easy....get a grip on yourself, put down the Canadian Mist, the Moose Head, or whatever your drinking and smoking. We Americans view the Canadians as good neighbors. There`s no need to feel so threatened by us as you obviously do.

Actually I found your comments quite amusing. I realize your intent was just a good natured ribbing, so allow me to respond to a few of your comments in the same vein.

========== In Reply To ========== A few reasons why Canada rules

1. Canada (yes, the whole country!) had 555 murders in 1998 which is 1.83 murders per 100,000 people. The state of California (yes, just ONE state) had 2,171 murders in 1998 which is 6.6 murders per 100,000 people.

**That`s because its so cold up there 10 months out of the year that people can`t leave there homes without freezing to death.

1. Um...for what its worth we um...burned down the white house.... Twice.

   **And last time I looked it was still standing.

12.Canadian football: Our balls are bigger.

*The CFL is just a place for NFL rejects.

13.Football was invented in McGill university in Montreal. First official game, McGill vs Harvard. Guess who won.

*Let McGill play Florida State, Miami, Nebraska or Florida and see how they do.

15.What's our national sport? (America answers Hockey) Wrong! It's lacrosse! Ha ha ha!

*Is that supposed to be something to be proud of?

16.Three words: Pamela Lee Anderson.

*Cindy Crawford, Julia Roberts, and too many others to name

17.Two better words: Natasha Henstridge.

*Who the hell is that?

18.We kicked your @$$ in the 100m. Ohh baby, it hurts to be this good, eh!

*Do you really think we give a damn about track and field? And Ben Johnson had to take steroids in win it in `88.

21.When was the last time the U.S. won an international curling match?

*Curling? Now that`s an even more lame sport than lacrosse. WE`ve got the NFL, NBA, MLB, we don`t have time to sweep in front of a big rock.

25.And to think we let you buy Alaska at such a bargain price!

*Actually you`re just so dumb you got swindled.

26.You tried to invade us once. Once.

*And if we decided to do it again you would be steamrolled. Hell, our Salvation Army could kick your Army`s @$$

28.Jim Carrey, Dave Thomas, Shania Twain, Eugene Levy, Natasha Henstridge, John Candy (used to have him), Dan Akroyd, Rich Little, Martin Short, Bryan Adams, Yasmeen, Linda Evangelista, Percy Faith? (not Sledge), The Kids in the Hall, Leslie Nielsen, "Life is a Highway" Celine Dion, Pamela Lee Anderson, Sarah McLachlan... Let's face it, if you dig music, babes or laughing, we're your country.

*If you want to take credit for Celine Dion be my guest. Why don`t you mention the artists that you have a right to be proud of like Neil Young, The Band, Joni Mitchell or even Alanis Morrisette. By the way, we have Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen,and too many others to name.

. 33.Alex Trebek and Peter Jennings are very very smart and very very Canadian.

And both are very very very annoying. These two jokers are considered buffoons by most Americans.

35.At least we have a legitimate claim to be interested in the Royal Family!

*I`m glad somebody is `cause we`re sure not.

42.World Series. Twice in a row. Naanee naanee boo boo!

*You`ve won two series` out of over 100. And how many Stanley Cups have American teams won? And we don`t even care about hockey.

45.Basketball, we invented that!

*And we rule the world in it. The Raptors suck and the Grizzles moved to Memphis.

46.I've never had to go through a metal detector at school.

*Me either

47.I'm not afraid to walk down the street at night.

**Me either

50.We're not afraid to have commericals on TV that say we're the best then broadcast them to the rest of the world.

*We have something called TRUTH in advertising

So many of your remarks weren`t worth responding to. But the bottom line is that when you are the Greatest Country in the world, other people are jealous and like to take shots at you. We`re used to that. IfAmerica is so bad why does everyone want to be us? Why have all your NHL teams moved to the states. Why did I hear Ashleigh Banfield say on tYV last week that is is geting an American citizenship? The only Americans I`ve ever heard of wanting to be Canadian were the cowardly draft dodgers that ran up there to hide during the Vietnam War.

========== In Reply To ========== American, I'll just correct just a some little things you've made...

========== In Reply To ========== A few reasons why Canada rules

1. Canada (yes, the whole country!) had 555 murders in 1998 which is 1.83 murders per 100,000 people. The state of California (yes, just ONE state) had 2,171 murders in 1998 which is 6.6 murders per 100,000 people.

That`s because its so cold up there 10 months out of the year that people can`t leave there homes without freezing to death. **This answer sucks...South of Canada, (where almost all canadians lives)is just a little bit colder than north of US...

12.Canadian football: Our balls are bigger.

The CFL is just a place for NFL rejects. *Dont' say that. Canadians players aren't corrupted by money and i sincerly think they're better (i watch the two leagues)

13.Football was invented in McGill university in Montreal. First official game, McGill vs Harvard. Guess who won.

Let McGill play Florida State, Miami, Nebraska or Florida and see how they do. *If U take your best, we'll take ours. Let Florida State, Miami, nebraska or Florida play St-Marys, Manitoba College or Laval University

16.Three words: Pamela Lee Anderson.

Cindy Crawford, Julia Roberts, and too many others to name The're nice sure but not bombs as P.A.L.

18.We kicked your @$$ in the 100m. Ohh baby, it hurts to be this good, eh!

Do you really think we give a damn about track and field? And Ben Johnson had to take steroids in win it in `88. You don't give a damn but you're always there in competition an olympics...but you never win!

21.When was the last time the U.S. won an international curling match?

Curling? Now that`s an even more lame sport than lacrosse. WE`ve got the NFL, NBA, MLB, we don`t have time to sweep in front of a big rock. *only the NFL is acceptable...What a boring sport to zigzag 200 times in a stadium with a big ugly ballon.And Baseball, I think curling is more excitable...

26.You tried to invade us once. Once.

And if we decided to do it again you would be steamrolled. Hell, our Salvation Army could kick your Army`s @$$ You could easily invade us, but certainly not control us (like Iraqis)We're so a big country that you counldn't control 10% of the population. There would be guerillas and kind of terrorism. On final, you would have more casualties than us...

28.Jim Carrey, Dave Thomas, Shania Twain, Eugene Levy, Natasha Henstridge, John Candy (used to have him), Dan Akroyd, Rich Little, Martin Short, Bryan Adams, Yasmeen, Linda Evangelista, Percy Faith? (not Sledge), The Kids in the Hall, Leslie Nielsen, "Life is a Highway" Celine Dion, Pamela Lee Anderson, Sarah McLachlan... Let's face it, if you dig music, babes or laughing, we're your country.

If you want to take credit for Celine Dion be my guest. Why don`t you mention the artists that you have a right to be proud of like Neil Young, The Band, Joni Mitchell or even Alanis Morrisette. By the way, we have Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen,and too many others to name. Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan, is that all??????

35.At least we have a legitimate claim to be interested in the Royal Family!

I`m glad somebody is `cause we`re sure not. *The royal family is 100x better than your a$$hole president. And capitalism sucks.

45.Basketball, we invented that!

And we rule the world in it. The Raptors suck and the Grizzles moved to Memphis. You,re the only country in the world to play it too...Which country would want to play that "sport"?

46.I've never had to go through a metal detector at school.

Me either You've probably been to a poor school....

47.I'm not afraid to walk down the street at night.

Me either **You should...

And I'd like to add a thing:

1)We entered in World war 2, biggest war ever, in 1939. We didn't wait to be attacked by Japan in 1941...

2)The Canadian Army has the strongest tank in the world.(tank Coyote) We just have 210 of these tanks but we have it.

========== In Reply To ========== A few reasons why Canada rules

1. Canada (yes, the whole country!) had 555 murders in 1998 which is 1.83 murders per 100,000 people. The state of California (yes, just ONE state) had 2,171 murders in 1998 which is 6.6 murders per 100,000 people.

That`s because its so cold up there 10 months out of the year that people can`t leave there homes without freezing to death. **This answer sucks...South of Canada, (where almost all canadians lives)is just a little bit colder than north of US...

Saying it's just a little colder is like saying your just a little dumber.

12.Canadian football: Our balls are bigger.

The CFL is just a place for NFL rejects. *Dont' say that. Canadians players aren't corrupted by money and i sincerly think they're better (i watch the two leagues)

You can't be corrupted by money when you suck so bad you can't make the money.

13.Football was invented in McGill university in Montreal. First official game, McGill vs Harvard. Guess who won.

Let McGill play Florida State, Miami, Nebraska or Florida and see how they do. *If U take your best, we'll take ours. Let Florida State, Miami, nebraska or Florida play St-Marys, Manitoba College or Laval University

Bring it on!

16.Three words: Pamela Lee Anderson.

Cindy Crawford, Julia Roberts, and too many others to name The're nice sure but not bombs as P.A.L.

And they didn't have to have plastic surgery, breast implants, and enough makeup for a truck load of $%!@s to look like they do. Plus, they have talent.

18.We kicked your @$$ in the 100m. Ohh baby, it hurts to be this good, eh!

Do you really think we give a damn about track and field? And Ben Johnson had to take steroids in win it in `88. You don't give a damn but you're always there in competition an olympics...but you never win!

The 2000 Sydney Olympic Games. United States: 40 Gold, 24 Silver, 33 Bronze. Canada: 3 Gold, 3 Silver, 8 Bronze. Enough said.

21.When was the last time the U.S. won an international curling match?

Curling? Now that`s an even more lame sport than lacrosse. WE`ve got the NFL, NBA, MLB, we don`t have time to sweep in front of a big rock. *only the NFL is acceptable...What a boring sport to zigzag 200 times in a stadium with a big ugly ballon.And Baseball, I think curling is more excitable...

Curling sucks. If curling is a sport, so is drooling.

26.You tried to invade us once. Once.

And if we decided to do it again you would be steamrolled. Hell, our Salvation Army could kick your Army`s @$$ You could easily invade us, but certainly not control us (like Iraqis)We're so a big country that you counldn't control 10% of the population. There would be guerillas and kind of terrorism. On final, you would have more casualties than us...

Mute point. Why in the hell would we want to take over Canada?

28.Jim Carrey, Dave Thomas, Shania Twain, Eugene Levy, Natasha Henstridge, John Candy (used to have him), Dan Akroyd, Rich Little, Martin Short, Bryan Adams, Yasmeen, Linda Evangelista, Percy Faith? (not Sledge), The Kids in the Hall, Leslie Nielsen, "Life is a Highway" Celine Dion, Pamela Lee Anderson, Sarah McLachlan... Let's face it, if you dig music, babes or laughing, we're your country.

If you want to take credit for Celine Dion be my guest. Why don`t you mention the artists that you have a right to be proud of like Neil Young, The Band, Joni Mitchell or even Alanis Morrisette. By the way, we have Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen,and too many others to name. Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan, is that all??????

Bob Seger, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Tea Leoni, Robin Williams, Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, George Strait, Alan Jackson, Bill Cosby, John Belushi (we had him), Steven Spielberg, Michael Jordan, Barry Bonds, Mark McGuire, Brad Pitt, Robert Duvall, Edward Norton, Tom Hanks, do I really need to go on?

35.At least we have a legitimate claim to be interested in the Royal Family!

I`m glad somebody is `cause we`re sure not. *The royal family is 100x better than your a$$hole president. And capitalism sucks.

It's better to have a family with no real power sucking up money from the government? I'll take our President over a bunch of snobby, lazy Royal B*TCHES any day!

45.Basketball, we invented that!

And we rule the world in it. The Raptors suck and the Grizzles moved to Memphis. You,re the only country in the world to play it too...Which country would want to play that "sport"?

Then why brag about a Canadian inventing it?

46.I've never had to go through a metal detector at school.

Me either You've probably been to a poor school....

You know what happens when you assume?

47.I'm not afraid to walk down the street at night.

Me either **You should...

You should...kiss my a$$

And I'd like to add a thing:

1)We entered in World war 2, biggest war ever, in 1939. We didn't wait to be attacked by Japan in 1941...

...and your point is?

2)The Canadian Army has the strongest tank in the world.(tank Coyote) We just have 210 of these tanks but we have it.

Wow. A tank.

Ok my turn. Also I like Canadians, my Uncle is Canadian.

1. The War of 1812.....Those dumb Canucks sent those "superior" Americans packing. Or, stopped them from packing up us, as the case may be!

No you didn't. Canada didn't evean exist at that point. Also as I remeber you only began winning with British help.

. Um...for what its worth we um...burned down the white house.... Twice.

Wrong again. The British burned the Wight HOuse ONCE.

9.I believe we are officially the coldest nation in the world, if that's anything to boast about. (Typical Canadian humility, of course it is!)

Russia.

11.Our cities don't shut down cause of a bit of wimpy frost. Heck, we build highways out of ice in the winter.

Ours don't shut down when a heat wave comes.

25.And to think we let you buy Alaska at such a bargain price!

We bought Alaska from RUSSIA.( you dont like other cold nations do you?)

26.You tried to invade us once. Once.

No we didn't, you didn't exist.

40.The river in my city? I can swim in it.

Me too, the Rapahanok.

45.Basketball, we invented that!

Nope that was invented in a YMCA in the States.

47.I'm not afraid to walk down the street at night. 46.I've never had to go through a metal detector at school.

Me neithor for eather.

1)We entered in World war 2, biggest war ever, in 1939. We didn't wait to be attacked by Japan in 1941...

Blame Liberal Pacivist.

2)The Canadian Army has the strongest tank in the world.(tank Coyote) We just have 210 of these tanks but we have it.

M1A1 Abrams IS the strongest tank in the world. and we have more then just 210.